This is why I can't wait to go back to work...
My little friend Janie has been inviting kids to her wedding for about a week now. I decided it was time to have a class discussion, as it was happening during our whole group lessons on the carpet.
Me: "Janie, exactly what are you doing?"
Janie: "I am inviting people to my wedding to Johnny."
Me: "But, I thought you were marrying Jack."
Jack: "I decided I didn’t want to get married."
Me: "Good thinking, Jack. Now, Janie, back to the wedding, you DO know that we are not supposed to get married in kindergarten, right?"
Janie: "Well, my mom and dad got married when they were 3 and 2 years old."
Me: "I don’t think that was when the REAL wedding took place. But, you go ahead and ask them about that tonight."
Janie: "Actually, I am marrying Johnny AND Jack."
Me: Well, unless you live in Utah or Texas, I don’t think you can legally do that. "
Johnny: "HEY- Jack and I are making a run for it!"
Cassie: "And, another thing, Janie was kissing the wall…"
Sally: "She was practicing."
Me: "Listen carefully boys and girls. ONE – there are to be no weddings in kindergarten. TWO – there is no kissing in kindergarten. THREE – well, I can’t remember, but I’m sure I’ll think of a number three shortly.
Okay, now what were we learning about?"
We were learning that Janie will be trouble when she hits about 17!
ReplyDeleteCLASSIC!!! I can't wait to hear the things my little one comes up with when she is able to talk...oh and btw...i saw you got a new coffee pot...you are officially dead to me....mine broke this morning
ReplyDeleteGood thing none of the kids had to bring a shotgun.
ReplyDeleteso when is the appointment for the chastity belt fitting? Soon I hope. It should grow with her!
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious! Her parents better be keeping an eye out, where do kids come up with this stuff?
ReplyDeleteTexas?? Excuse me??? I think you have this state confused. Everything is bigger and better but we don't double dip.
ReplyDeleteThe only marriage in my son's K class was when the kids decided to have a wedding for the letters Q and U, because they were always together anyway.
ReplyDeleteThere is no kissing in kindergarten...I was surprised to find myself saying that line a few times, too.
ReplyDeleteI remember when The girl was about 3 and she was going to marry "Ryan". Funny how little girls think marriage is a wonderful thing ~ thank goodness she is over that... LoL
ReplyDeleteNumber 3 is that there will be none of that in FIRST GRADE either!
ReplyDeleteAw, makes me recall my elementary school crushes. They never liked me back, though.
ReplyDeletePracticing kissing a wall! Hysterical! I love those kids!
ReplyDelete3) No kissing walls in kindergarden?
ReplyDelete4) No alcohol in kindergarden
5) No smoking
6) No gambling
My daughter was a very vocal gay advocate in kindergarten. Our neighbors were gay and she was asking about families and one thing led to another and what she got from it was that girls could marry girls and that she could have a wedding and be a beautiful bride without bringing boys into the picture at all. The other girls all thought this was a great idea, too, when she talked it up big. I expected my phone to ring off the hook that night, but it didn't. :-)
ReplyDelete: )
ReplyDeleteJust goes to show that we have to watch what we say in front of them munchkins! LOL!
ReplyDeleteSo Jack and Johnny ran off together leaving Janie alone at the altar to either retaliate by hooking up with Cassie, or become the female version of the 40-Year-Old Virgin.
ReplyDeleteHaha so funny! I remember in elementary school having troll doll weddings (it was the 90's). My boy troll doll got married to this other girl's girl troll doll. Oh the things kids do! :o)
ReplyDeleteNo weddings in kindergarten what kind of cruel dictatorship are we running here Vodkamom...
ReplyDeleteWe are learning that Janie will be in trouble long before she's 17. Yikes that's some gal. The boys have it right though since they are making a run for it. Bwahahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day. Big hug. :)
I remember getting married in the sand box. with a cheap ring that turned my finger green, shortly followed my a divorce!
ReplyDelete*sigh* ahh... Those were the days...
Oh no...that's too funny...
ReplyDeletelol...love it!! my 5 yr old son came home with a girls phone number last year....REALLY?????!!!
ReplyDeleteThree: Don't kiss walls in public. People will talk.
ReplyDeleteIt's about time the kids learn these things, what do you want them to until 1st grade or something?
ReplyDeleteThat's it. I'm sending Sprite to you for a year when it's time for her to enter kindergarten. I hear the three year old room at her daycare has weekly weddings and she already calls this one kid her "boyfriend". Help!
ReplyDeletexoxo
thats awesome. logan got married a few times in k garten last year. ha.
ReplyDeleteNo kissing till your 30!! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteYou just had to dis on Texas.
ReplyDelete"Get thee to a nunnery!"
ReplyDeleteNo kissing in Kindergarten? Sheesh, you guys in Oregon are so strict.
ReplyDeletei hope beyond all hope that stella's kindergarten teacher has as much fun as you do ...
ReplyDelete3 full months of being away ... kinda makes you (shhh...) eager to get back to work and hear more kid-isms. i can't believe i just said that.
i have a truck full in my memory ... i swear i will write these down someday.
maybe this year.
That Janey is quite the fickle one. No wonder Jack Johnny and Jack made a run for it.
ReplyDeleteThey're growing them smarter and younger these days.
ReplyDeleteJones kissed in kindergarten and had to pull a red safety card. In his defense, he was only kissing back...
ReplyDeleteAt least she didn't wear leather! Didn't these kids used to be kids?
ReplyDeleteThe little ones in my daughters class like to play on the roundabout (Merry-go-round?) where they "age" up to a point where they can get married (whilst swinging round still) but they still run away from each other as soon as the ride is over!
ReplyDeleteYou might want to tell Janie that practising kissing usually works on something softer than a wall! :-P
ReplyDeleteGood grief. You've got a future Mary Catherine Gallagher on your hands. She's not in trouble until she starts macking on trees.
ReplyDeleteOf course, by the time they reach fourth and fifth grade, the boys and girls won't have anything to do with each other, so the "wedding" problem goes away.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be fabulous if you got an invite for the real wedding?
ReplyDeleteAccording to their timeline my 3rd grader should be divorced by now.
ReplyDeleteWinks & Smiles,
Wifey
That doesn't sound too unusual. I'm waiting for the day when kindergarteners are cynical enough to include mistresses, minivans, lawyers and divorce court; a fifteen minute recess should be sufficient to take the marriage from endzone to endzone.
ReplyDeleteAnd then what? They give up trying to have children after 6 hours and decide to adopt a baby from Mali because Janie can't get pregnant?
ReplyDeleteAnd no kissing walls! That's where wallflowers come from.
ReplyDeletePlus - too much wall kissing and her classmates will not let her have a "white" wedding.
ReplyDeleteHee, hee, hee. I'm loving this and all the replies just make it even funnier.
ReplyDeleteMy how things have changed. I didn't get married until I was in fourth grade! I was chosen as the bride because my name was the same as the groom's mother.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was in Kindergarten. Our class had 26 children. We all came and sat in a great big circle of chairs. I would go around the room picking out each little boy I was going to marry.
ReplyDeleteBy first grade, one of them chased me all over the play ground everyday giving me kisses (on the cheek). I think i got married five times on the play ground that year.
"Johnny: "HEY- Jack and I are making a run for it!" --
ReplyDeleteHoo-boy! What a perfectly innocent, endearing, normal comment for a child to make.
But just you wait, Vodka Mom. Before you can say "BOO!" some parent will soon be after you, demanding to know why you introduced (or allowed to be introduced) the subject of gay marriage (partnerships?) into the classroom.
This, I know from experience.
So I hope you'll say BOO right back the SOB!
"Johnny: "HEY- Jack and I are making a run for it!" --
ReplyDeleteHoo-boy! What a perfectly innocent, endearing, normal comment for a child to make.
But just you wait, Vodka Mom. Before you can say "BOO!" some parent will soon be after you, demanding to know why you introduced (or allowed to be introduced) the subject of gay marriage (partnerships?) into the classroom.
This, I know from experience.
So I hope you'll say BOO right back the SOB!
"Unless you live in Utah or Texas"...Ha!
ReplyDeleteMalisa
oh my good lord.
ReplyDeleteYou know I still kiss the wall, and it is surprisingly good!
ReplyDeleteIn Texas only men can have more than one bride...and that's only in Waco! All the others have just one wife...and maybe a girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI think they would make a lovely trio...it's always nice to have a spare groom!
Debbie
Better watch that little janie-girl! Dangerous! Sounds like how my mom says I was!
ReplyDelete"Me: Well, unless you live in Utah or Texas, I don’t think you can legally do that. "
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, you got us there!
Thanks for the sidebar link!
ReplyDeleteAnd today, is kind of school related, too.
My 4 year old niece invited me to her wedding to a nice boy named "Malfoy" (he's invisible and she claims he looks nothing like the boy in Harry Potter). She invited me via pink Barbie cell phone.
ReplyDeleteShe likes to practice being married...this involves a lot of practice bitching at the wall. Well, at least she's got that part right.
When I was in Reception class (age 4-5) my school decided that there was going to be a wedding. When they asked the girls who wanted to be the bride, only two of us didn't put our hands up - so, of course, they picked me :(
ReplyDeleteGreat, so now I'm singin' whatsisname's "Nice Day for a White Wedding.." Billy Idol...yeah....that's him....
ReplyDeleteGreat! So now they're going to elope and you're going to have to explain to their parents why you wouldn't allow the traditional courtship period of 19 years to continue.
ReplyDeleteThere might have been CAKE! What is WRONG WITH YOU!?
This is hilarious! The kissing the wall for practice and making a run for it really make the story. You really make teaching kindergarten sound like fun!
ReplyDeleteThings have changed a little in Utah... (Unless you're one of the weird FLDS who make up their own damn rules.)
ReplyDeleteHahaha, it really is funny what kids come up with. :)
WHAT? No kissing and Marrying in kindergarten?? First no homemade cupcakes and now this?!?! Geez. Kids just can't be kids anymore!
ReplyDeleteNo new post :-( Blogger must be off for you or school (your real job) is getting in the way.
ReplyDeleteSee you soon xxxooo
I bet you never thought you'd have to say "No wedding in kindergarten!"
ReplyDeleteThat's funny. The boys had the right idea.
ReplyDeleteWell at least in Kinnegarten you don't have to worry about 'shotgun' weddings.
ReplyDeleteI remember playing wedding when I was younger though. I'm pretty sure I married every boy on the block, I was a hussy that way. He he he!
blessings!
My daughter was like that in kindergarten too - verrrrrry popular with all the boys, kissing them all at recess etc. I thought to myself 'oh sh!t - what'll happen in middle school and high school?! Will she be THAT girl?!' But nah. She's in middle school now and she thinks all the boys are idiots and walks around with her nose in a book 24/7. YES!!!!
ReplyDeleteGeeeeeez!!! What the hell CAN you do in kindergarten?
ReplyDeleteAnd I would just like to thank "Meandering Mel" for getting Utah's back! It's not legal here, either, y'know! Just the crazy people pretending to be Mormons do it. Not the reals ones. Just sayin'.
No kissing the wall...that's too funny.