11/17/09

Breakfast at Tiffany's...sort of....


Breakfast at Vodkamoms:

Sassy: WHO ATE ALL THE *^&#@**^^% frosting? There’s supposed to be FOUR packets of *@#$-ing frosting left in the toaster strudel box!!! GOLDEN BOY!!

Me: PLEASE don’t shout (&@^-ing at your brother AND YOUR MOTHER first thing in the *^&@*#&$^ morning. Jesus.

Sassy: There’s no more *^@^$&*^% frosting left, and I KNOW he ate it all. He’s a (&*^ pig!!!

Me (Looking in the freezer): Oh, look there. What’s that? Looks like the *^% frosting. Imagine that. Well, it’s nice to know that things are back to *&@#ing normal around here. Have a great $#@ day at school.

(Ahhh, the sweet sound of normalcy...)



54 comments:

  1. JanNovember 17, 2009 at 7:20 AM

    Oh, good - things ARE back to normal.

    Have a %#$@ing great day yourself, woman.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ScopeNovember 17, 2009 at 7:26 AM

    Just for that outburst, you should make her eat Pop-Tarts, cold, for a week.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownNovember 17, 2009 at 7:27 AM

    Really though, how can you @&*($ing eat a @&*($ing toaster strudel without any @&*($ing frosting?

    the horror...

    God only knows how they'll live without you...

    You are going to have to live forever :)

    Peace ~ Rene

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rick DaleyNovember 17, 2009 at 7:34 AM

    @&*($ing-A.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Vodka LogicNovember 17, 2009 at 7:37 AM

    I see you speak the same %^$# language in your house as we do.. normal is great

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Good CookNovember 17, 2009 at 7:41 AM

    You knew it was bound to happen right? I remember right after 9/11 in NY - no one honked their horns in the streets, people held doors... for a few weeks.

    Now, back to normal.

    It warms the heart...

    ReplyDelete
  7. IBNovember 17, 2009 at 7:43 AM

    Nothin says good morning like a volley of accusations and and cursing the family. It's the little things, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  8. SNovember 17, 2009 at 7:44 AM

    Love it. Because it's so familiar.

    ReplyDelete
  9. plainolebobNovember 17, 2009 at 7:54 AM

    *^@#&%*
    VM, sounded like a coffee shortage here.
    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  10. Boozy ToothNovember 17, 2009 at 7:58 AM

    The {expletive deleted} notion of missing frosting will {expletive deleted }make you do some crazy {expletive deleted} shit. I know. I've {expletive deleted} been there.

    ReplyDelete
  11. mo.stoneskinNovember 17, 2009 at 8:03 AM

    I enjoyed that despite not knowing what frosting is.

    ReplyDelete
  12. KaLynn ("MiMi")November 17, 2009 at 8:04 AM

    AAAAHHH! The joys of motherhood! Doesn't it make your heart sing??

    Glad those kRaZy days are waaaay behind me!!!
    Cheers!!

    Glad you guys are back to normal!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mrs. ENovember 17, 2009 at 8:06 AM

    And all is right with the world! (Well, at least YOUR world!)

    ReplyDelete
  14. FRANNIENovember 17, 2009 at 8:19 AM

    You know Golden Boy was just hiding the frosting for later right?

    Laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lee RyanNovember 17, 2009 at 8:23 AM

    She probably couldn't see the frosting until you pulled your bottle of vodka out of the freezer so you could make YOUR breakfast.

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownNovember 17, 2009 at 8:26 AM

    Sounds about right to me. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Brian MillerNovember 17, 2009 at 8:44 AM

    lol. i feel the same way about my *^%@(*)! toaster strudels...

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousNovember 17, 2009 at 9:13 AM

    Buy the pop tarts that don't have frosting.. that'll teach 'em! LOL Kids, I swear.

    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lynn KellanNovember 17, 2009 at 9:13 AM

    I'm so glad to see that your kids are eating a nice serving of fruit in the morning. My progeny get their fruit via Fruit Loops.

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousNovember 17, 2009 at 9:33 AM

    Cookies never got stale in our house either!

    ReplyDelete
  21. JoanieNovember 17, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    This is why I was glad to have a job that starts at 11am and my kids got their own asses up for school. No *^@^$&*^% fighting in the mornings.

    ReplyDelete
  22. SkylersDadNovember 17, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    You know, I was going to say something funny, but after reading Lee Ryan's comment, I will just sit here giggling to myself all day!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sprite's KeeperNovember 17, 2009 at 11:00 AM

    I was notorious for sucking all the frosting out of those ten packets. YUM! Saturday morning cartoons took on a whole new meaning about 30 minutes after a frosting episode..
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  24. LPCNovember 17, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    How effing great is that. Must be the Thanksgiving influence?

    ReplyDelete
  25. RoshniNovember 17, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    She's practicing for the real world! :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. SaraNovember 17, 2009 at 12:16 PM

    In all fairness, I understand the gravity of the situation. You can't have a @#$%&? toaster streudel without the ?!%@$# frosting.

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousNovember 17, 2009 at 12:38 PM

    I'm disappointed in Golden Boy. So he didn't double-coat his strudel with frosting?

    ReplyDelete
  28. PamNovember 17, 2009 at 2:26 PM

    As usual, I'm laughing my ass off at your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Jen TNovember 17, 2009 at 2:29 PM

    Flashing back about 10 years this is pretty much a typical morning at my mom's house. Ah, family.

    ReplyDelete
  30. GayleNovember 17, 2009 at 3:11 PM

    My brain totally filled in the symbols. We must have the same outbursts around here.

    ReplyDelete
  31. UnknownNovember 17, 2009 at 3:18 PM

    I would have slapped her in the f*%$#*! mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousNovember 17, 2009 at 3:21 PM

    lol....normal is good;)

    peace

    ReplyDelete
  33. Southern Belle MamaNovember 17, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    I wouldn't have blamed him if he did "double-up" on the frosting...I do :) They really need to give you 2 packets per pastry!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Maureen@IslandRoarNovember 17, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    That was F%$@ing hysterical!!
    Sending some bloggy soap for everyone's mouth. Just happen to have some; not that anyone in MY house ever needs it...

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousNovember 17, 2009 at 6:03 PM

    Do you know why I love your blog? Because you're %&#@'n normal. You're not one of these goody-do momma bloggers who annoy me with posts about how wonderful and stable their household is.

    ReplyDelete
  36. suzanneelizabeths.comNovember 17, 2009 at 6:05 PM

    I'm heading over to your place for breakfast tomorrow morning and there better be frosting! ha!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Mrs. C.November 17, 2009 at 6:18 PM

    You should have told her you and Tightwad smeared it on each other in a wicked frenzy of lust. That'd fix 'er.

    ReplyDelete
  38. KatNovember 17, 2009 at 7:01 PM

    Do you remember the time when you were just counting the days til they would learn to %^&*-ing talk...?

    ReplyDelete
  39. ♥ BrajaNovember 17, 2009 at 8:59 PM

    Hmmm....how's dinner lookin'?? :))

    ReplyDelete
  40. Masala ChicaNovember 17, 2009 at 9:07 PM

    I love that someone else curses as much as I do. I am really, really trying hard not to. The other day my 2 year old yelled - "oh f%$%@@" three times as she tried to do a Melissa and Doug puzzle.

    So bad.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Draft QueenNovember 17, 2009 at 9:41 PM

    That will certainly be my kitchen in no time. (As of now my 11 y/o doesn't dare curse when she thinks I can hear her.)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Expat mumNovember 17, 2009 at 9:52 PM

    Maybe f@#ing oatmeal instead of f*%king frosty stuff would calm things down?

    ReplyDelete
  43. MikeNovember 17, 2009 at 9:57 PM

    I was watching a movie one time and the girl said that she felt like a toaster strudel. I won't elaborate! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  44. UnknownNovember 17, 2009 at 10:33 PM

    OMG ... you always make me laugh!! I am actually excited for the teenage years with my two boys ... just reading about how entertained you are, I think my boys will keep me on my toes!! Ha ha!!
    I am having a HUGE giveaway event on my blog right now ... please come take a peek!!! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  45. That Janie GirlNovember 18, 2009 at 12:35 AM

    All is well in the Vodka household.

    ReplyDelete
  46. ARTISANNE DESIGNNovember 18, 2009 at 6:04 AM

    FLOL!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. MrsBlogAlotNovember 18, 2009 at 7:31 AM

    LOL! Note to self: buy more vodka

    ReplyDelete
  48. DawgDykeNovember 18, 2009 at 8:19 AM

    Hey! The @#$%ing frosting was missing again this morning. *&$% this, I'm getting my own freezer with a lock!

    ReplyDelete
  49. UnknownNovember 18, 2009 at 9:39 AM

    I'm still laughing at mo.stoneskin's comment... wonder what they call frosting in the UK?

    ReplyDelete
  50. Far Side of FiftyNovember 18, 2009 at 11:11 AM

    Sounds like normal to me..glad to hear it..normal is good:)

    ReplyDelete
  51. we_be_toysNovember 18, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    Shhh, don't tell anyone, but this sounds EXACTLY like my house!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Mrs. C.November 18, 2009 at 9:16 PM

    I've pretty much given up on trying to curb the kids' cursing around the house. We went from always using the word "bum" instead of "butt" to now, when my sweet daughter looks at the kitten and says, "Why you little bastard!"

    We are fabulous role models, hey?

    ReplyDelete
  53. StacieNovember 18, 2009 at 10:44 PM

    Have you put microphones in my house???

    ReplyDelete
  54. TamaraNovember 21, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    oooooooh girl do I ever know the "why animals eat their young" feeling!! My daughter will be 20 in December, a complete bitch and I still don't like her. I love her of course, she's my daughter, but I don't like her one bit.

    You gave me hope for a minute when you said you liked her again and then you said she was 20. lol My balloon totally inflated cuz I don't think she will have a complete transformation in the next month. LOL

    Glad you have yours back now!! I can't wait.

    ReplyDelete

Come on people, make me laugh. I dare ya.