11/19/09

Proud Shmoud....


As most of you know, we live in a college town here in Smythe, Oregon. The local high school here has about 3,000 kids enrolled. Sure, that’s a lot of kids- but most of the time it does feel like a small town.

Each year, all year LONG, we read in the paper about the incredible accomplishments of many of the seniors that are seemingly PHENOMENAL.

Here’s what I’d like to print.

Sassy Smith, daughter of Tightwad and Vodkamom, is the proud recipient of the, well, um, nothing. Her parents are very proud of the fact she’s never officially been arrested, and has brilliantly outmaneuvered the police on several occasions when they’ve appeared at “study meetings” she might have attended.


Although she’s never been a girl scout, she did spend a year participating in the brownies, which netted her parents, and extended family members, a bazillion boxes of cookies, some of which might STILL be in the back of their freezers. It also earned her a weekend camping experience that we try not to bring up. She has not volunteered to help the homeless, the hungry or the huddled masses, because she’s been too &#% busy playing field hockey She was offered a chance to work the Special Olympics, but she respectfully declined. Yeah.

Although she’s not being considered for ANY scholarships, her parents are working feverishly to find a way to ship her to college as far away as possible.


and it's all out of love.



57 comments:

  1. I think she should get an award for being gifted enough to be born into such a wonderfully normal family. :-) Now that takes talent, right?

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  2. That's plenty of reasons to be proud. Normal is the new genius, dontcha know? Hooray for Sassy!

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  3. Be very proud. Someday I would love to be one of those moms with the bumper sticker that says,

    "My Daughter Kicked Your Honor Student's Ass."

    It's something to aspire to, I think. ;)

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  4. I think being average is underrated.

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  5. I think I missed something here. When did you move to Oregon? Last time I knew, you were living in Pennsylvania.

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  6. That's a lot of love, and brownies...

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  7. I always thought our children should receive awards for surviving in homes with inexperienced parents who only 'kinda' knew what they were doing! Bless their hearts. And the fact that they sometimes want to return to the nest speaks volumes!!

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  8. There is totally a skill, even a gift, to being able to fly under the I did something special radar for your entire school career. To me it says she is comfortable in her own skin and everyone who doesn't like it can @#% off. Which is cool.

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  9. Well we weren't the easiest kids in the world to bring up either, were we? But here we are.

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  10. I just hope you attach this letter to all of her college applications.

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  11. Well! I see your daughter is every bit as accomplished as mine.

    I'll drink to that. Repeatedly.

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  12. Yes, these days just staying un-pregnant and out of the hands of the police many teens deserve an award. :-)

    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

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  13. Oh good - that takes the pressure off me worrying about Princess Nagger's future, too. If she turns out 'normal' like Sassy, I'll do a happy dance. ;)

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  14. I try to tell my daughter that normal is awesome! I'm going to have to show her this post...maybe hearing it from someone other than myself seh'll listen...hey - a mom can DREAM, can't she?!?!

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  15. I am still looking for the bumper sticker that says
    "Proud mother of four average kids"...

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  16. You see that? You see what a good job you did? Scholarship Schmalership.

    Well done.

    Ellie

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  17. Normal can be a welcome change when watching TV "news"... you still have girl scout cookies in the freeze. Can I come over if I bring my own milk?

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  18. Surely there are scholarships available to students with spazzy mothers. :)

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  19. Sassy should date my son. He's never particularly gone out of his way like all those Awesome kids we're always reading about. But he's the light of my life and simply an amazing person. Like I know Sassy must be.

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  20. I shipped my kid to a college near you, sort of. Please, don't feel like you need to return the favor.

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  21. I have one like that. I sent him to college this year, and he also, so far, has not gotten himself arrested.

    Aren't we lucky?

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  22. My youngest son received an award in grade school for being successful at recess. We were and still are so proud. He is now a senior at Arizona State. See, there is hope for Sassy.

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  23. Once when we were younger, my father said to me and my sister: I'm very proud of you girls. You never got arrested and you never got pregnant.

    Uhhhh, ok.

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  24. Ah, yes...I'm proud of the same type of person. DID ship him far away to college, but he came back....without a degree. Sigh.

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  25. Considering the type of teenager I was? I'm doomed.

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  26. hahaha! You know, she gets an award for being comfortable enough in her own skin and her place in your family to speak her mind without using the edit button.

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  27. Hilarious!

    I feel the same way about the Christmas letters that people send out and think I should work on my own version of one to send out this year.

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  28. I have a post today that you may just get a kick out of, cause it's all about you http://tinyurl.com/ydbs64d

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  29. The best field hockey teams are generally from the east coast, so if she's good enough to get a scholarship for that, she's probably going to school somewhere out east. Maybe BC, Northeastern or Merrimack (I'm from Massachusetts, so I'm partial to those schools)?

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  30. I could have only wished that my Mother sent me to a land far far away! LOL!

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  31. Your kids are so lucky to be cherished for who they are instead of made to feel like they must constantly accomplish, do, and compete in order to win your love. Normal and well-adjusted is wonderful. And "enough common sense to avoid getting arrested" is more than many people ever muster. I'm proud of her, too!

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  32. You must love those Christmas newsletters, too.

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  33. Such a glowing report usually only comes from a trailer park...

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  34. LMAO. I love this post.


    http://staceria.blogspot.com/
    (my personal not photo blog)

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  35. Exactly why I love you, Vodka. Always focusing on the positive!
    xoxo

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  36. My daughters would read exactly like that with the inclusion that while at said *study sessions* she effectively managed to stay drug free.

    She's a Freshman at college now (Junior college) & the two girls who had the long list of achievements and went to wonderful Universities. Well, one is now pregnant & the other is pulling straight C's because she seems to have developed a cocaine habit.

    Personally I'm quite proud.

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  37. Your post made me smile. I have twins (now 5) who get into lots of antics, most of them legal (except the time they stole pens from an office supply store). Still, I had a difficult pregnancy, so my husband and I found ourselves in love with the word "normal." When the doctor said "normal," that meant all was well. Fortunately, all still is well. Here's to parenting normal kids.

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  38. I grew up totally average and now look at me!! What?? Ok, I guess that doesn't make you feel better.

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  39. That reminds me, I too have a box of Thin Mints somewhere in the netherworld of the pantry. I bought them last February when the Girl Scout Cookie Nazi Mom was circling the office looking for victims.

    http://www.madtexter.com/2009/03/lion-witch-and-girl-scout-cookies.html

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  40. You are so honest and crack me up! I love it!

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  41. i remember those bragging parents at the playground when my kids were toddlers. it just seems to go on and on and on and on....

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  42. You know, I needed a reminder to focus on how positive it can be to have nothing. Really, I could be so much worse.

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  43. Hilarious. It makes me think of the kid's dad who told me on the phone last year after I caught his kid cheating (using a dictionary for his vocabulary quiz) that "he had a baseball game and didn't have time to study." He never addressed the issue, just said that.

    On another note: YOUR KID will be JUST find :)

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  44. Texas Tech is a really good choice for you to pursue! :)

    Malisa

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  45. I can smell your pride from here.

    Seriously though, thank God she's just normal. That should be plenty for people.

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  46. Be wonderfully average...that way when you do something above that people will treat you like you pulled the president out of quicksand :)

    Peace ~ Rene

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  47. I have one of these daughters too that I'm Proud Schmoud of!! LOL Infact, years ago her first grade teacher told me my daughter was like a queen with a septor sitting at her desk commanding her subjects....yup I'm Proud Schmoud. lol
    I'm loving your blog, new follower and I'm grabbing your button. :)
    http://www.homespunheartscandles.blogspot.com

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  48. There is something to be said about not having a Type A, Girl Scouting, President of the Student Council, Captain of the Cheerleading squad kind of daughter. Not average - she just has different priorities ;-)

    She sounds pretty darn cool to me. Congratulations and Cheers!

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  49. LOL. That was great. I would be willing to bet that it would be a hit with colleges in her college essay. It is honest and true - and it is OKAY.

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  50. You may very well be brilliant.

    I think I am in love with your blog.

    T

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Come on people, make me laugh. I dare ya.