The things I did yesterday? Well, let’s see if I can give a quick recap.
First, I made a little trip to McDonald’s for a greasy cheeseburger after hearing Sassy driving the great white porcelain bus in the bathroom. It appears that Sassy caught a “stomach virus” from a fella she met at her social gathering on Saturday night. I think his name was Daniels; yeah, and his first name was Jack. (I might have been born at night, but it wasn’t LAST night. And p.s., if Vodkamom can’t smell a hangover a mile away, she had better change her name.) Moms know lots of things, and Mom’s of TEENS know even more. The “having a teen” thing is what TAUGHT me what a hangover was. Sheesh.
Then, I spent a half an hour cleaning up MUD, leaves and what I THINK was a large spider that Golden Boy and the neighbor kids managed to track through my NEW downstairs bedroom (that’s nearly complete after eight years under construction) after managing to pry open the window that was supposedly burglar-proof. (Note to window manufacturer: If three fairly STUPID and filthy 11 year-old boys can open the damn window, so can Jack the Ripper.) And if I could RUN faster, their #**@* would be so sore right now.
Third, apparently Bitchy didn’t get the message that moms try NOT to clean on Mother’s Day, and managed to convince me to not only clean out the (God-awful) refrigerator with her, but the linen closet and the laundry room as well. WHY am I such an easy target? WHY? I also managed to fold only two loads of laundry- cause heaven FORBID I miss a day of THAT.
Fourth, and certainly not the least important, Tightwad had to work for the billionth day in a row. While it is doing wonders for paying those bills we’ve been ignoring for, oh, say about a year, it put a bit of a damper on my kid yelling. They don’t take me quite as seriously when the fairly huge Tightwad isn’t standing right behind me. (Apparently I’m a five foot-one inch wussie.)
All in all you know what kind of Mother’s Day it was? YOU WANT TO KNOW?
It was perfect. Absolutely, incredibly, stinking P.E.R.F.E.C.T.
I think I caught that particular "stomach virus" every single weekend as a teen.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mothers Day!
Well said. I wouldn't miss all those kinds of moments for the world.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day. :)
Mother's job never ends! Mine kept saying oh let me get that .....and hour later I would just do it! Our peeps are smarter than we think!
ReplyDeleteAll these Mothers Day posts keep making me feel pangs of guilt for not having done anything for my mum. And then I remember - in the UK, we did ours in March.
ReplyDeleteWhat a day! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm tired reading that, honey.
ReplyDeleteIn my house, magical elves did all the chores yesterday (ha). Have fun w/ the kindergarten kidlets today... xo
at least you cant say you were bored...lol
ReplyDeleteSounds pretty typical when teens are in the house. You did get that cheeseburger in order to taunt Sassy with it because nothing cures reoccurring hangovers faster then gross food and loud noises.
ReplyDeleteHow do kids do that? It's like the smell the clean thing in the room/house, zero in on it and make it dirty/muddy/sticky/smelly/crunchy/disgusting.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day!
*laughing* - happy mother's day! :)
ReplyDeleteDamn men! Even Jack Daniels doesn't know when to stop!
ReplyDeleteAt least Bitchy cleaned WITH you (or so you said).
Hell, I guess every day really is Mother's Day when you put it this way.
ReplyDeleteEinstein's theory of parallel universes: b/c the same damn thing went down here yesterday, sister.
ReplyDeleteJust call me Cinderella...
Happy Mother's Day, anyway...(no thanks, Hallmark...you're the only winner in this.)
You are just perfect ...
ReplyDeleteI hope there are Mothers like you everywhere ..
Happy Day After ...
As it should be. Happy Perfect Mothers Day, D.
ReplyDeleteJust keep telling yourself 'these are the days we'll look back on and miss.'
ReplyDelete=-)
I'm so curious about your new status over at BlogHer. Not curious enough to visit, mind you, but curious nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteYour MD sounds just about right considering the names you've given your children.
At least Bitchy helped you, and Sassy came home with hopefully a lesson learned.
ReplyDeleteGlad it was perfect but mine was more perfecter... :)
ahhhh yes, the stomach virus, Ive had that a few times;)
ReplyDeleteShe WANTED to clean out the fridge? WTF???
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day, VodkaMom!!
Happy Mother's Day. I'm just sitting around WAITING for mine to be teens. Really.
ReplyDeleteMy 11 year old son would never sneak out of a window--he's one of those good kids -- but his little brother? I am already afraid. I am very very afraid
Sounds like another day in paradise :-)
ReplyDeletexo
i have just one question...is this the payback that my mom always told me I would get because of how i behaved as a teen.
ReplyDeletethe most famous roseism "I hope GOD gives you one just like you." She even called out the big Guy for revenge!!
say it ain't so!
I think what Sassy needed was some runny eggs and a warm Red, White, & Blue.
ReplyDeleteDo they still brew that?
If that was your perfect Mother's Day I'd hate to hear about your worst one!
ReplyDeleteJust think, if they hadn't been acting like the 'angels' they were you wouldn't have a very entertaining blog post that makes me laugh/worry about the spawn of mine that is still waiting to burst out of me and make my life as interesting as yours. :) Happy Mother's day!
ReplyDeleteWas the greasy burger for you, or a lesson for Sassy?
ReplyDeleteNothing like a greasy cheeseburger after you've finished "praying to the porcelain god" with a hangover... seriously, that used to be the first thing I wanted to eat after I recovered! (Of course we're talking almost 20 years ago... a hangover these days would kill me, no questions asked!) :)
ReplyDeleteWait...What?? Were you at MY house yesterday??
ReplyDeleteNo... I guess not. As the puking that was going on here was NOT the Daniel's variety, but the actual flu kind.
But the laundry and cleaning of the fridge did occur.
Happy Mother's day is right! :)
Glad you had a good day then. We celebrated today since I had to work yesterday. BBQ for mom and dad, McHappy Meals for the boys and coloured paper flowers to decorate mommy's hospital room. Good times.
ReplyDeleteI spent Mother's Day driving my oldest daughter to the Newark airport so she could leave me and spend a fabulous week in Ireland! And when I say spent the day, I mean, I left my house at 11am and didn't get home until 7pm and most of that time was in the car. And my Mother's Day dinner was at a rest stop on the NJ Turnpike. But hey! I didn't have to cook!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day belated.
ReplyDeleteindian classified site
Oh my. What a day! You are a 5'1" powerhouse and those kids have NOTHING on you.
ReplyDelete