7/25/10

I'll take "Things you should never say to your mother" for $400, Alex.


A few suggestions to girls HOPING to travel to New York City with their mother next weekend:

When she returns from the salon with a cute little sassy haircut do NOT burst into hysterical laughter and do NOT utter the word "Ewwwwww."


And Sassy, when texting your friend about said haircut, do NOT ask for help spelling the word atrocious. That just bought you the cot next weekend.






Anyone want to adopt two girls? They're only slightly used, potty trained and eat only when forced. (Make sure you've got plenty of ranch dressing and hot sauce.)

40 comments:

  1. ScopeJuly 25, 2010 at 9:29 AM

    Cot? HELL! Floor!

    I'm sure she was just jealous of the cut.

    ReplyDelete
  2. kelJuly 25, 2010 at 9:29 AM

    heeheee... that's hilarious! poor mom!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Notes From ABroadJuly 25, 2010 at 9:45 AM

    Did you tell them that they have appointments at the same hairdresser for Tuesday?

    I am sure you look adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010 at 9:47 AM

    Get the scissors out when they're sleeping.. heck, get the electric shaver out.

    DI

    ReplyDelete
  5. Brian MillerJuly 25, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    oh my...how about a pic so we can...properly determine hte extent of the pain she needs...smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rachel CotterillJuly 25, 2010 at 10:06 AM

    I wanna see your haircut!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dawn Parsons SmithJuly 25, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    I think Brian is on to something:) Threaten punishment to be determined by the blogosphere! lol!

    What is it about a mom getting her haircut that turns her family into a bunch of critics and lunatics? I feel your pain:) My daughter (age 7 btw) thinks she works at Paul Mitchell salon and clearly knows what's better for me than I do!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Real Live LesbianJuly 25, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    That sounds like jealousy to me. Not everyone can have cute hair like WE do! Have fun in NYC alone!

    ReplyDelete
  9. CherylJuly 25, 2010 at 10:23 AM

    Isn't atrocious actually spelled FANTASTIC? Same number of letters so I can understand the confusion.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010 at 10:47 AM

    Ranch dressing and hot sauce. Hmmm. Interesting combo!

    M

    ReplyDelete
  11. cheatymoonJuly 25, 2010 at 10:55 AM

    I'm sure it's an amazingly cute haircut.
    Can't wait to hear about your BlogHer adventures.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Vodka MomJuly 25, 2010 at 10:57 AM

    okay, I'll show a pic tomorrow. If I can manage to get one that DOESN'T reveal my true identity.


    :-)


    crap.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    When I was younger I use to do that to mom even when it looked good I was just being a big meanie! xD

    ReplyDelete
  14. SueJuly 25, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    I'm sorry, but "thanks" for making me burst out laughing! And sorry, I've got enough of my own kids insults with adding any more to my herd! And I also WORK with mine!!

    Take care, Sue

    ReplyDelete
  15. KimJuly 25, 2010 at 11:51 AM

    Does this mean you are going to BlogHer? I'll hunt you down. Not like "stalker hunt you down" but "can't wait to meet you" hunt you down!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Cheryl D.July 25, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    LOL! Too funny.

    ReplyDelete
  17. KyddrynJuly 25, 2010 at 12:30 PM

    You said "...Ranch dressing and hot sauce..." to a pregnant woman...dang it...now I want wings...

    Wait, what was this post about??

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

    ReplyDelete
  18. lisahgoldenJuly 25, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    Their day will come. Mwahahahahah!

    ReplyDelete
  19. SuzyJuly 25, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    I swear that Babble website is the most retarded website ever. STILL CAN'T VOTE FROM THE LAST TIME.

    Finally took off my word vero. Eek.

    ReplyDelete
  20. kathleen shoopJuly 25, 2010 at 4:16 PM

    Laughter? Laughter's good. Laughter's good, right?

    ReplyDelete
  21. MissyJuly 25, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    I don't think I could handle two more! Especially, if they like to make fun of mom...

    ReplyDelete
  22. DawnJuly 25, 2010 at 5:05 PM

    Can't wait to see the pic!!
    I'm sure your haircut is AMAZING!
    Have fun at BlogHer!

    ReplyDelete
  23. EGBJuly 25, 2010 at 5:27 PM

    You have a razor tongue and are a gorgeous spitting image of Annie Lenox. I have boys who so far have yet to notice I have hair. I love your blog title, and am thinking you might enjoy hearing what one of my Bunco gals did with a bottle of Grey Goose on Friday night!

    ReplyDelete
  24. JulesJuly 25, 2010 at 5:59 PM

    I really needed that laugh, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. jessicaJuly 25, 2010 at 6:25 PM

    hahaha my husband said of my sassy little haircut "you look like a lesbian" and yes, the next time he wanted some bowchicawow i told him i didn't like men :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Trac~July 25, 2010 at 6:36 PM

    Those girls still haven't learned have they? I happen to LOVE that hairstyle and think it's adorable! My mother actually (who is turning 60 in 2 weeks) just got the same exact hairstyle so I say go for it hot mama! :o)

    ReplyDelete
  27. GigiJuly 25, 2010 at 6:45 PM

    Seriously - where do these kids get off criticizing US? They are the ones with the sketchy outfits and the weird hair. I can't wait to show their children pictures of them 20 years from now.....

    Yes, Revenge. It's a dish best served cold. ;-)

    I'm sure your hair is FABULOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  28. JoanieJuly 25, 2010 at 7:07 PM

    Uh... no thanks. I got one of those girls here now, and I can't get rid of HER!

    I vote for floor too!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Smart Mouth BroadJuly 25, 2010 at 8:11 PM

    Are my daughters living double lives? That sounds like something I might hear.

    ReplyDelete
  30. ElenkaJuly 25, 2010 at 9:34 PM

    I might trade ya for one son. Mostly potty trained (lest you think I'm speaking of a toddler, I'm not) , eats more than that and is also slightly used.

    ReplyDelete
  31. ElenkaJuly 25, 2010 at 9:35 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousJuly 25, 2010 at 9:40 PM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  33. W.C.CampJuly 25, 2010 at 10:15 PM

    As long as they are 'potty trained' because I REALLY like my coffee. W.C.C.

    ReplyDelete
  34. AlexandraJuly 25, 2010 at 11:30 PM

    I love hearing about your smarta**girls....I just do... bwaahaaahhaa...

    ReplyDelete
  35. CheeseboyJuly 26, 2010 at 1:00 AM

    I love cute and sassy. I would never.

    ReplyDelete
  36. BirdmanJuly 26, 2010 at 4:07 PM

    Hey, we all have our crosses to bear... lucky you though, you have 2! I read you stuff ever so often. Get a seat in rehab; ya might just need it. Just chuckle sometimes... hahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
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Come on people, make me laugh. I dare ya.