Dear parents of the kindergarten children at Smith and Wesson Elementary,
Yes, we had an AMAZING time on our field trip today to the pumpkin patch. And JUST in case the children are too exhausted to share the details with you, allow me to do the honors.
1. We took an amazingly long ride on the hay wagon to the actual pumpkin patch itself. While no one technically fell of the high and rickety wagon, that does not mean that several boys didn’t try their very hardest to accomplish that feat. (Frank.)
2. Each child took their time searching the pumpkin patch high and low for a suitable pumpkin to take home with them. If anyone (and by anyone I mean several anyone’s) was hit accidently by flying gourds, I’m sure it came from no one in our very own class. (Frank.)
3. We thoroughly enjoyed watching and petting the various farm animals frolicking and playing with each other in the “petting” area of the farm. Yes, the pigs were surprisingly rambunctious, and I’m sure none of the children would have thought that they WEREN’T playing leap frog if one of my very street-smart students’ hadn’t pointed out exactly what was happening. (And by the way, Frank, it’s not technically called bumping.)
4. It was an incredible stroke of luck that we were able to see the baby calf that had been borne one hour before our arrival. The owner of the farm was so excited about giving us that opportunity, and in passing mentioned that perhaps the kids might have questions about the mama cow. (If any of you have seen what comes OUT OF A MAMA cow AFTER the baby, you have NOT lived. And yes, it was our dear boy who pointed it out. I might never sleep OR eat again. You’ve never seen a teacher move SO FAST to herd the children right back OUT of the barn.)
5. The corn maze was incredible. I’m sure Frank is still trying to find his way out. (No, Mr. Bus Driver, we only came with 18 children. You must have been mistaken.)
(Can someone draw me a bath?)
37 comments:
Sounds like our trip to the pumpkin patch last week! Sans Cow Placenta. ;)
Ha! There's always ONE student who is very, very wise and makes field trips exhausting. Well, more exhausting than they already are.
Frankly(no pun intended), I DETEST field trips. As a kid I can remember LOVING them. As a teacher, not so much! Congrats on making it through...and at least the week is almost over. Oh wait, it's only Monday. Sorry - I hope the booze and bath helps!
Yep. There's always a Frank. *sigh* It only gets worse. And by the time I get them--just shoot me!
I bet Frank's parent(s) can't wait to send him to school each morning. ; )
Frank exhausts me. I can only imagine how you feel. Let me pour you a fresh glass!
Why yes, Mrs. Smythe, I have seen the placenta as well as the entire uterus exit the cow after birthing her calf. Watching the vet trying to shove her uterus back in and make it stay there is something I wish the kids had seen. Birth control discussions can never start too early, can they Frank?
Root beer float sounds like a good idea to me.
Yeah, Frank may be a pain now, but he's never going to back down from a challenge as he gets older.
Is there really a Smith & Wesson Elementary? I love it!!!
Just think, as you're tipping that bottle, that Frank looks forward to going to school just to impart those particular bit of wisdom to his teacher and his classmates. (He's definitely one of those kids that you don't hope to run into at the grocery store).
I think next time, one of Frank's parents is a mandatory chaperone...
What a special dose of nature you were treated to! Blech! I can't believe you got such an eyeful of the mama cow!
At least your newsletter for the week is already written....
I just love Frank! He's so out there!! He's bright, funny, and doesn't mind sharing his knowledge. Oh yes, indee-dee! I just love Frank....and I'm extremely grateful I am neither his mother nor his teacher, because then I just might have to shoot myself!
Oh that kid can make me laugh! Bumping!!! Hysterical!
lol...ya gotta love Frank ;)
That was funny.
Then it was gross.
Then it was funny again.
No video of the cow?
Too bad you didn't all get to see the farmer turn the breech cow.
What has been seen, can never be un-seen...
lol. gotta love those field trips...esp the ones that involve bumping...
Oh, that Frank is a live one!
Haha! Every teacher has a Frank or 2 or 3!
You guys took a field trip to a pumpkin patch??
Damn it!
This is the kind of stuff you miss out on when you're an Air Force brat.
Dumb ass ruins.
It sounds like you needed a trip after that field trip! LOL!
When my daughter went to a public preschool they had a really cool field trip to a little zoo at a community college that was about a 45 minute drive away. Like an idiot I volunteered. Big mistake.
As soon as the bus pulled away from the school, a girl in the back started throwing up. We were only 2 blocks from the school, so I just assumed we'd turn around and leave the girl with the nurse. No such luck. For some odd reason, the teachers assumed the girl had motion sickness. So, we all put up with the vomit for the 45 minute drive and for the ENTIRE time at the zoo, then for the 45 minute drive home.
I don't know how teachers do this day in and day out.
I don't know how teachers do it. I certainly could never have survived a day with 18, er, I mean 19 children?
Di
That sounds like a trip worth chaperoning!
Oooh, distraction time! Hey, kids, when I was teenager, we did a dance called The Bump! Let's try it out!
I remember going out to Sauvie Island while living in Oregon, wow was it pretty there in the fall !
Happily, I have no memory of seeing the after birthing sights on farm animals, my demented mother must have been especially negligent that day.
I need a Frank down here once in a while, keep us on our toes. :)
It gets too relaxing, you know ?
Only people who have never taught could possibly think that a field trip is like a day off for the teacher! Sounds like you got the super deluxe tour of the farm! Complete with humping and placenta! Oh joy, oh rapture!
I. LOVE. FRANK.
We had a "George" when I was room mom for my daughter's kindergarten class. We were on a field trip to downtown Cleveland. I was assigned a group of four pairs of kids and George was in the group. I told the teacher the next time we were on a field trip I was tethering George to my wrist. That was fifteen years ago. Besides my daughter and George, I can't remember the other six kids in the group. He made a lasting impression all through the years.
Field trips will be a level of hell for some people!
Kindergarten teachers have a special place reserved for them in heaven, of this I am certain.
I'm with JJ, I bet Frank's parents do cartwheels and cheer every morning after dropping him off at school:
"we're free! FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
HAha! The title alone was brilliant!
Ahhh... Nothing like th birthing of a calf to make you want to shout "TAKE US HOME!"
SOOOO glad my son's Kind. field trip to the pumpkin patch was without that part. :)
All right, now I KNOW you are writing from memory and this is really about a class in Utah several years ago. I wont say how many years ago my son was in Kindergarten because it may age me a bit, but I know this is about him!!
So this is why my kids no longer have field trips? Too many Franks wore out the teachers?
I swear it's always the ones named Frank who are the troublemakers.
I am new here, like as of today, and already I am glad that Frank is not my child.
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