5/16/09

Have a chip...


Dear Bitchy,

 

 

Yeah, about your obsessions with running, the elliptical, salads, granola, yogurt and rice: I’ve decided to put my food down.  Enough is enough!!!

 

All that healthy crap cannot POSSIBLY be good for you.  And when you decided to walk home from the GYM last night? 

 

I decided I might not be your birth mother after all.

 

 

 

 

56 comments:

  1. ♥ BrajaMay 16, 2009 at 8:21 AM

    OMG FIRST!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ♥ BrajaMay 16, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    HA!! WOOT.

    OK I'm calming down. I'm still trying to get over how you said your "best friend" sent you something yesterday for your post, and I didn't....you two timin'? Or is it 25 timin' more like...
    mwah kiss xxoxoo5555 (Ann...)

    ReplyDelete
  3. ♥ BrajaMay 16, 2009 at 8:23 AM

    Incidentally Bitchy is SUPER INTELLIGENT. Send her over here, I'll nourish her fad :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. ♥ BrajaMay 16, 2009 at 8:24 AM

    OK everyone else, you can leave your comments now. Braja has left the building...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Scary MommyMay 16, 2009 at 8:25 AM

    I've started going to the gym again, but I'm the person who circles around for 20 minutes to find the closest spot. WALK home? WTF?

    ReplyDelete
  6. DKCMay 16, 2009 at 8:31 AM

    I keep telling myself that I need to get my exercise on - so far, no one in my head seems to be listening.

    Um, yeah - walking home? That's reaching to a new level!

    ReplyDelete
  7. *Lissa*May 16, 2009 at 8:31 AM

    Seriously? People do that?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Angie LedbetterMay 16, 2009 at 8:37 AM

    Maybe B had a hot date and needed extra time for him to get her back home? :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. laughingwolfMay 16, 2009 at 8:44 AM

    young women should NEVER walk alone at night :(

    ReplyDelete
  10. Rick DaleyMay 16, 2009 at 8:44 AM

    You have to balance it all out. I ran a half marathon a couple weeks ago, then went on vacation and drank like a fish.

    All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

    ReplyDelete
  11. DebMay 16, 2009 at 8:55 AM

    -->I think the best way to avoid injury is to not exercise.
    Wait, do you 16 ounce curls count - we drink pints of beer here?!?

    http://thaxtonfam.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin)May 16, 2009 at 8:57 AM

    Ya know what my healthy, vegan, excercising daughter does???

    Smokes.

    I just don't get it. . .

    ReplyDelete
  13. KyddrynMay 16, 2009 at 9:04 AM

    I can't walk home from the gym...I'd have to walk along and then cross a major, four lane, divided highway...and while fear can burn some calories, I don't think I'm that desperate...yet...

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who may be guilty of stocking the kitchen with fruits and veg...)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ann ImigMay 16, 2009 at 9:14 AM

    Can you even begin to imagine your grandmother at a GYM??

    There are millions of baffled grannies rolling around in their graves. If you listen closely you can hear them in the wind...

    HAVE A SANDWICH, FOR CHRISSAKES!

    ReplyDelete
  15. CidMay 16, 2009 at 9:15 AM

    Yeah, what is with all those exercise-obsessed, veggy-loving smokers?

    ReplyDelete
  16. MaryMay 16, 2009 at 9:21 AM

    I always thought carrying around all these excess pounds WAS a form of exercise..... why lift weights when you can wear them?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Tuesday TaylorMay 16, 2009 at 9:22 AM

    "Healthy" is a matter of opinion, my MY opinionnnnnnnnn

    ReplyDelete
  18. blognutMay 16, 2009 at 10:14 AM

    You know you can just watch that exercise shit on TV, right? You can sit right in your happy chair eating your chips, and watch people run, jump rope, and lift weights.

    I find that oddly satisfying.

    ReplyDelete
  19. UnknownMay 16, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    But do you have any dip?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Empress Bee (of the high sea)May 16, 2009 at 10:20 AM

    i went to curves three times this week. i think i am right up there with bitchy now. i bet i look as good too. right? right? i do too. yes i do. uh huh...

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    oh, then i went and got a big ole' juice hamburger and fries!!! ps

    ReplyDelete
  21. Irish GumboMay 16, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    Walking home from the gym? Jay-zus, there is a lot of crazyness in the world...I'm tired just thinking about it...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mango GirlMay 16, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    I'm with Laughingwolf ~ seriously here!

    and Rick! ~ yup, balance.

    I think I am going to make some mimosas and check out the pilates classes "ON DEMAND" ~

    ReplyDelete
  23. UnknownMay 16, 2009 at 10:25 AM

    Depends on how far away fro the gym you are and whether it's dangerous roads/streets??!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. SueMay 16, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    Good for Bitchy! Let's hope she continues a lifetime of what she's doing and hey, maybe she could drag your butt with her along the way. What do you think?

    Sue

    ReplyDelete
  25. *Akilah Sakai*May 16, 2009 at 10:38 AM

    Wow! She's got the drive I seriously need to melt my thighs down.

    Walking home from the gym? Ha! I refuse to walk up the stairs in my own house! Instead, I piggyback the Hubster to get up there.

    ReplyDelete
  26. BlaséMay 16, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo kiss kiss hug hug...I just had to out-do "Braja", I'm very competitive.

    Should I assume that you were eating a bag of chips when you watched my 'Ellen' video?? Nothing like a bag of chips while being entertained by Ellen.

    ReplyDelete
  27. unmitigated meMay 16, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    Yep. Switched at birth. Musta been.

    ReplyDelete
  28. SuzyMay 16, 2009 at 11:44 AM

    If there was only one meal a day I'd be a lot happier. I'm up to like, 23 meals a day.

    ReplyDelete
  29. BobbiMay 16, 2009 at 12:04 PM

    I'm with blognut, I just watch other people exercise.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Fifi FlowersMay 16, 2009 at 12:06 PM

    THis is hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  31. StephanieMay 16, 2009 at 12:09 PM

    Hee Hee. Teenagers sound like so so much fun :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. darsdenMay 16, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    LOL you can always adopt me..I will lay on the sofa and pass you chips and a cocktail all the time. Maybe play a lil wii inbetween. Let me know LOL ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  33. darsdenMay 16, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    damn braja you are working it today

    ReplyDelete
  34. SSPMay 16, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    I am down with the food choices..and i guess i would just need to know how far is the gym, and how late was it before i passed judgement....but then again, i trust yours (!), so if you are scandalized by her walking, i am too!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. PatsyMay 16, 2009 at 1:19 PM

    Dear Martini Mom:

    I THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRUCK A NERVE. :-)

    ~~~Lorna

    ReplyDelete
  36. LeslieMay 16, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    I have bad news. You better go order a DNA test. Maybe she was switched at birth?

    ReplyDelete
  37. YoMay 16, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    make bacon. no one can resist bacon. or sausage. while she's sleeping.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Fragrant LiarMay 16, 2009 at 2:59 PM

    Face it, she is not really your daughter. Or maybe she's trying to trick you into buying her a car.

    ReplyDelete
  39. UnknownMay 16, 2009 at 3:38 PM

    Girl...You and Bitchy have to get together, work out a fitness plan and share your journey with us.

    Be candid with each other.

    Haven't you seen "Whatever, Martha?"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npBPuJwbwyI

    You can totally do this way better... :)

    Peace - Rene

    ReplyDelete
  40. Zip n TizzyMay 16, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    It's not impossible that they mixed up the bassinets in the hospital. Maybe it was a really busy shift.
    Well, you're stuck with her now. At least salads don't cost much.

    ReplyDelete
  41. tracey.becker1@gmail.comMay 16, 2009 at 3:50 PM

    Geez, send some of that energy this way, Bitchy.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Kate Coveny HoodMay 16, 2009 at 3:59 PM

    I really miss going to the gym...you know, now that I can't afford it and don't have time. When I did have time and money? Different story.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Lee RyanMay 16, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    Bitchy might at least have ran home from the gym. Inverval sprints maybe?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Ann On and On...May 16, 2009 at 4:19 PM

    Don't hate me, I am secretly living the same life as bitchy, but I still indulge in some bad food. *Without guilt.*

    ReplyDelete
  45. Amy WMay 16, 2009 at 4:43 PM

    You do present some compelling evidence. However, I've seen tweets from you at 5a.m.-ish where you talk about going to the gym or coming back from it. So, it sounds like maybe you know a little something about this healthy stuff. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  46. Smart Mouth BroadMay 16, 2009 at 4:52 PM

    That Bitchy is just pissin me off. Where does she get the energy? What's her secret? I need to know!

    ReplyDelete
  47. For MyselfMay 16, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    I'm on to you, VM! You're so full of sh*t your eyes are brown! I SAW that photo of you and that gymnastic-y body of yours when you were Bitchy's age. You were JUST LIKE HER! C'mon, now. Just who do you think you're fooling???

    Nice try though. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  48. JoanieMay 16, 2009 at 5:03 PM

    Bitchy's going to be very upset when she's old and gray and lying in the hospital, dying from nothing.

    All that healthy stuff just can't be good for you. For one thing, when you get to middle age and you are thin, you have wrinkles. Not so for those of us with some meat on us.

    Pass me the Ben and Jerry's please.

    ReplyDelete
  49. anymommyMay 16, 2009 at 6:02 PM

    Have to admit I had the same thought as For Myself. But, never fear, you are welcome on my couch, where the ice cream flows freely, any time!

    ReplyDelete
  50. AnonymousMay 16, 2009 at 7:16 PM

    This blog is too funny for color TV. You are now one of my fave blogs to follow. I adore anyone that can people laugh and see the flip-side to the mundane.

    -Mad

    ReplyDelete
  51. SweetPeaSurryMay 16, 2009 at 7:23 PM

    he he he

    I've been trying to eat healthier ... and I bunged up today and got myself a cheese ench and a side of rice. BAH ... back to the starting line for me.

    blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Captain DumbassMay 16, 2009 at 10:14 PM

    Dear Bitchy, being in good shape is great, but when you start getting Madonna's pipes, that's a little creepy. Jennifer Aniston was waaaay hotter the first few seasons of Friends when she had some meat on her bones. Stick figure Jen is just not the same.

    Bitchy's mom, thanks for putting me up top. Guess I need to post something...

    ReplyDelete
  53. JenniMay 16, 2009 at 10:18 PM

    LOL! Good for her! I am all for the working out...but the healthy eating I have trouble getting behind!
    Viva La Junkfood!

    ReplyDelete
  54. flutterMay 17, 2009 at 2:14 AM

    didn't you tell me once that she floated by you on the river in a basket?

    or was that supposed to be a secret?

    ReplyDelete
  55. shrink on the couchMay 17, 2009 at 11:58 PM

    must be some hawtie or another in her life, eh?

    ReplyDelete
  56. RoshniMay 18, 2009 at 4:47 PM

    sounds great!
    Hey! Hope the prom went well!

    ReplyDelete

Come on people, make me laugh. I dare ya.