A note to my darling sister,
I’ve been writing and re-writing this post for many days now, and I find I am at a loss to adequately express the feelings in my heart.
I know you read my blog every day, and that you cherish the stories that bring a smile to your face - and that you look forward to that ray of sunshine in the morning.
So, on this day I will not tell you about how my heart breaks for you, or how sometimes late at night I can still picture the handsome face of our dear boy – who is surely watching over you and your family as you continue to make your way through this painful and heartbreaking path.
I WILL tell you that he is surely so proud of the way you have conducted yourself- with your head held high and with a smile on your face. It is a testament to the goodness in your heart, and the belief that you will be together once again.
Remember the day at Misquamicut beach, when we were all sitting on the shore as the waves grew and pounded their way onto the beach? I was SO worried about Golden Boy, who was still new at body surfing and was the only one who could stand the minus ZERO degree temperature of your New England water. I asked “Robbie” to go and tell him to be careful!
He smiled, jumped up and RAN out to the water. He said something to Golden Boy, came back to shore and sat next to me smiling from ear to ear. Then, I saw Golden Boy swim out FARTHER, and ride a wave in. My heart STOPPED and I stood up in shock.
“What did you TELL HIM??” I asked Robbie.
“I told him it only worked if you went much FARTHER out into the ocean!” And he laughed and laughed.
That is a lesson that I have held close to my heart these last three years.
Even though we can stay close to shore and be safe, it isn’t until we venture out where we feel uncomfortable – that we truly live- and we truly learn.
This lesson, which I have held close to my heart these last three years, is one that has changed the path that my life is taking. Although he was with us for almost 17 years, he has touched more people than we will ever know.
And I want you to know that I don’t think of you, and pray for you JUST on this day- but every single day.
What a wonderful story that you can keep as a special part of him. I hope you and your sis have a good day.
ReplyDeletexoxo
ReplyDeleteI can see why you'd want to re-write this one over and over. You're such a great sister and auntie.
Thanks for sharing your family with us.
Beautiful
ReplyDeleteSo heartfelt and beautiful....
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post! Hugs to you and K.
ReplyDeleteWas this the day? This is the day my 17 yr old cousin died b/c of texting while driving, too.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure how these moms can go on... it breaks my heart to just think about it.
All I can offer is my empathy. It's not much, but it's all I have. Know that you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI don't know the back story - but after this post, I really didn't need to. My tears are hitting the keyboard as I type...thoughts and prayers with you and yours.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful story. I can't even imagine what it must be like to go through such a tragedy. It's a parents worst nightmare.
ReplyDeleteA very heartfelt post. *hugs* to you
ReplyDeleteVM.
ReplyDeleteBIG BIG HUGS
nuff said
My heart breaks for her too. Sending love to you, and to all of your family that misses him.
ReplyDeleteAmen. Hugs and a prayer for you and the sis.
ReplyDeleteOMG, tissue warning next time please! You have written a beautiful post. My deepest sympathies to your family.
ReplyDeleteRobbie was wiser at 17 than most people at 80.
ReplyDeleteHe knew how to live so I'm guessing he knew how to die.
We should all achieve such a gift in the brief time we're here.
What a beautiful tribute to not only your sister, but your nephew as well. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteBig hug. :)
I can't imagine your loss. Writing these stories lets his life touch even more lives.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you!
xoxo,
Beth
Oh gosh, I'm crying again....
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
xoxo
post a warning first
ReplyDeletefor crying out loud
Okay, you have me crying. I love that you and your sister share such an incredible relationship. And, I am so sorry it includes losing one Amazing and wonderful boy.
ReplyDeleteHugs, Tears and lots of love to you both!
Many, many hugs to you and your sister.
ReplyDeleteGlad you shared it. Precious.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your courage in opening up this window onto your family tragedy. You have a special family. Sending healing thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteloads of hugs to you and family! life has to move on somehow and i believe he wants you guys to do just that eventually with an open mind and happy heart and soul!
ReplyDeleteLove to you and your dear sister.
ReplyDeleteThat was lovely. Thank you for sharing. Just found your blog and am a fan.
ReplyDeleteThe death of a child, no matter what age, is the very worst thing that can happen to a parent and a family. The pain never goes away. My sympathies!
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post. It is wonderful memories like this one that will keep him alive in your hearts.
ReplyDeleteI know the places you talk about in ct and ri. they remind me of home. your sister is lucky to have someone who loves her as deep as you do her. I guess may 2008 has sucked for everyone. Your nephew passed on my sons birthday. the last day I saw my dad alive. he passed may 7th 2008.
ReplyDeleteHeartfelt.
ReplyDeleteLove to all of you. May your memories only grow fonder.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful tribute to Robbie. Words are had to come by when we lose someone we love and treasure. I hope that the memories of his life will continue to give you smiles through the tears.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous illustration of an amazing boy and angel. Prayers for your sister and all your family.
ReplyDeleteI thought you were good when you were snarky, but this was beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to be funny all the time for us to love the way you put the words together.
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt's all I can say.
It must have been hard to write this sad rememberance. He was loved, that was good.
ReplyDeleteSecretia
*tear*
ReplyDeleteD,
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing.
Your sister is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her.
This is something we say:
"Every second, Every minute, Every Hour, Every Day, We miss you"
With love to you and yours,
Cass
xo
Very beautiful words and thoughts, which made my heart reach out to you and your sis xx
ReplyDeleteWell done.
ReplyDeleteVery well done.
I think I have mentioned to you before that I have these "moments" where all of a sudden I am thinking of someone or something and don't quite understand why. Today I was coming to work and found myself thinking about your sister and how amazing she is in spite of her tragic loss. Now I know why those thoughts were in my mind. Love to all of you, today and always!
ReplyDeletetears, smiles and shivers. Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteheavy smiles. beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful and loving message.
ReplyDeleteWow... I love Robbie's message - so wise. Thanks Robbie, I needed to hear that!
ReplyDeleteThe beauty of the words leave me nearly speechless. That might be one the most beautiful things i have ever read. Sincerest sympathies...zman sends
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is beautiful. Your family will surely find comfort in this.
ReplyDeleteOh, you were a weaver of words with this one..I pray that your sister will be comforted,, and you too:)
ReplyDeleteIn late August of this year, our neighbor and friend lost his fifteen year old daughter. She was hit by a car while crossing the street in a small town where that stuff should never happen.
ReplyDeleteThere was the typical flurry of support in the first month. It has wained, which is normal.
Not two days ago, some neighbors got together to organize dinners. We thought it might be unneeded so many months later, but it turned out, they needed it now more than ever.
Your brilliant and poignant post about YOUR beautiful boy reminds me: grief like love stays. And there's never too little a friend (or sister) can do...
Hugs to you and your sister!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful memory that he gave you. Thinking of you and your sister and sending love.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a beautiful post.
ReplyDeletevery heartwarming..
ReplyDeleteoh, wow, that was beautiful. And true, too. Thanks for sharing not just your loss, but also your insights and stories.
ReplyDeleteThat was .... bloody hilarious :)))
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is this:
ReplyDelete"SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL"
You AND your sister, take care, Sue
Heartbreaking and beautiful. You're a wonderful sister.
ReplyDeleteThis was so touching, I still have chills! God bless you both!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful and heartfelt post.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good sister.
ReplyDeleteThis is sad and beautiful and hopeful and truly breaks my heart.
ReplyDelete