By some cruel twist of fate, both girls were home at the same time last night- the first time this summer. They were looking over purchases made by Bitchy, who has chosen online shopping as a way to mend a broken heart. (Whatever it takes, people. What EVER it takes.)
Their voices escalated. “Oh my GOD, why in the @(** would you buy THAT?”
“Everyone has them. Isn’t it great? I love it.” I heard Bitchy reply.
“For God’s sake. That is NOT a necessity. Oh my GOD. UNDERWEAR is a necessity, NOT a hair straightener cover from Vera Bradley!”, Sassy screamed at the TOP of her lungs.
Bitchy stomped past me and without skipping a beat muttered, “How would she know? She doesn’t even WEAR underwear.”
Item number 405 on the list of things I didn’t want to know.
Yelling IS the most effective form of communication.
ReplyDeleteLOLOLOLOLOL. Now I see the fun I'm missing because my girls are separated by so many years.
ReplyDeleteOh man, is my sweet 2 month old daughter going to grow up and be a teenager?! Can I send her YOUR WAY?
ReplyDeleteYelling? Oh, we only negotiate with sweet words and warm hugs in this house. Not. Never. Yup, Yelling is our way too. xx
ReplyDeleteyou ask our mutual friend (betsy) what it was like to walk into my childhood home on any givin'day...YELLING was the only pitch my sister could understand!
ReplyDeleteseriously, vera bradly hair straightener case...gotta go..have some online shopping! tell bitchy i said thanks for that little info gem!♥
Love the Vera Bradley appliance cover! I have a couple myself and they are TOTALLY necessary!
ReplyDeleteAh, the love of sisters... isn't it (ear blowing) sweet. :)
ouch. truth hurts. we never want to REALLY know our kids, do we?
ReplyDeleteI have three daughters and I hope that by the time they're old enough to buy their own things they're also all married and living in different time zones.;)
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of conversations with my sister growing up. I once chased her out of the house because she was wearing my shirt. Ahhhh good times.
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation, we're now best of friends.
I am so glad you're documenting the YELLING!!
ReplyDeleteSorry. Didn't mean to yell.
Eeek. Me either!
ReplyDelete:)
Hysterical. Love this post.
ReplyDeleteOn a positive note, she's cutting down on the amount of laundry you do. =)
ReplyDeleteI laugh because I share your pain.
Stop freaking me out. My girls are still watching old musicals and the Cosby Show and "only wear underwear.." I can't get them to wear clothes...LOL
ReplyDeleteso you are telling me the yelling will only continue until they move out?? Damn, was hoping for a break somewhere in the next 15 years...
ReplyDeleteWell, frankly, a small appliance without full coverage IS like going commando. There's logic in their argument. Somewhere.
ReplyDeleteYelling is the only form of communication in this house - although we don't have any conversation about hair appliance covers.....
ReplyDeleteAnd if these guys are going around without underwear I *really* don't want to know about it.
No underwear, huh? You would not believe the number of people who don't wear underwear ........ Back in my the olden days when I was an ER nurse, I would encounter that frequently when removing clothes on an accident victim. Hey, I figured their mom told them to always wear CLEAN underwear when they left the house in case of an accident and they were out .......
ReplyDeleteI was not aware there was any other form of communication among teenagers besides yelling. Oh and eye rolling.
ReplyDeletei hope you take this as the stellar compliment it as meant- you are the modern Erma Bombeck.
ReplyDeleteDon't eat the daisies!
I really should not drink a glass of water while reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Are you saying there is another way aside from yelling? I would be interested in reading about this form of communication...
ReplyDeletelol, for a mothers ears...
ReplyDeleteLOL, aint that the truth? Just think of all the stress that gets released by yelling...that much more vodka for you-know-who!
ReplyDeleteMy lovelies are 17 months apart! I feel your pain!
hey i buy vera bradley stuff too. tell her that and she won't want it any more! ha ha ha
ReplyDeletesmiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxxo
oh, and i buy it online too! ps
Our son is 28, and the list just keeps on growing...
ReplyDeleteI can feel the love from here!
ReplyDeleteYet one more reason I am glad I have all boys!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAA!!! Oh that was the best! I didn't even see that last line coming. And a Vera Bradley hair straightening cover!! HAHAHAH! Oh, I am dying all around.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for online shopping (I loves me some ebay) but a Vera Bradley hair straightener cover?! Ummm.... okaaayyyy.... do I wanna know how much THAT cost? I suspect the answer is no.
ReplyDeleteHa! Having girls is SO very different than having a boy!
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Sometimes it's best NOT to know.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I just grabbed your button. Don't tell your hubbie...
ReplyDeleteJust think of the money she's saving not buying lingerie!
ReplyDeleteLove it... and you were wondering why the wash loads were lighter
ReplyDeleteWhen I found out my sister didn't wear underwear it really bothered me when we went shopping.
ReplyDeleteI wish I didn't know.
That is a total necessity, just so you know. The flat iron cover. I just used mine when I packed for vacation after showering (I know! Miracle!) and then had to pack and travel right away.
ReplyDeleteAnd as one of three sisters, yelling IS the most effective form of communication.
I know what you mean about the list. My 24 yr old son lives in our town with a bunch of guys and the house has literally been condemned by the health department!
ReplyDeleteHave I already told you this? Anyway, just gotta plug your ears and cover your eyes sometimes.