10/22/13

For the love of ALL that is holy, someone please help us find Bitchy a job. (Cause someone’s gonna get hurt around here, and it ain’t gonna be me.)


Dear Members of the Universe, President of the WIC organization, Publishers of Nutrition Magazines, Fitness Organizations and anyone else who MIGHT need the services of an adorable, brilliant, slightly bitchy 24 year-old nutrition graduate from Smithsylvania State University:


The daughter AND the mother in this small, tiny apartment are desperately seeking an entry level position in the very popular and apparently competitive field of Nutrition, Dietary Science, Exercise-Craziness, or all out crazy healthy organic gluten-free living.

(She) Will work for an incredibly high salary so that she can begin to pay back the five BAZILLION dollars she took out in student loans (while her parents were divorcing) while attending the five-year program at said University.  Sure, she worked two and sometimes THREE jobs during said five years, but only managed to accumulate more SHOES, clothing, several very nice TANS and who knows what else.  


She may also work for free as long as you can guarantee her a job FAR, FAR, FAR away from her mother.  (And don't worry if she needs to re-locate....I packed her bags MONTHS ago....)



There.  Now, for all that is holy, please, please let the job offers begin……..





14 comments:

Sheila said...

Not liking the label...hope all is well.
How far is she willing to move?

Linda M said...

Oh, no. No, no, no. Argh....

Marissa said...

Sigh. I understand the job search thing. And I have henchmen...

Proceeding operation ad click now.

pinklea said...

I hear ya. We have the same situation in our house, except my Darling Daughter has been job hunting for almost TWO YEARS now since she graduated from university. She's applied for about a gazillion jobs, had a number of great interviews, but no offers of full-time entry-level work in her field. You would think that the law of averages would net her a job by now ... sigh. Hope Bitchy is more successful in her job search (SOMEBODY better be!).

Gigi said...

The field of Nutrition...got it. Filed it away in my brain and will be actively looking in my area specifically (mainly so her mom can come to visit!)

Scope said...

You are telling me a horror story with a 17 year old daughter heading off to college in a year and a half.

Brian Miller said...

ugh so who is disappointing you?

and errr....good luck with the job thingy, just saying...ha

Anonymous said...

I graduated from the same university FOUR AND A HALF years ago (in the honors program no less) and still haven't secured a full time job. :(

Japolina said...

Ugh. Good Luck. I'm sure something will come her way before a murder occurs in your house

Sharon K said...

Scope, Tell your daughter to major in Accounting or Engineering. Yes, I know she will probably tell you those are boring, but so is living at home with no money after graduation. Did not listen to my dad on that one and my kids did not listen to me. You still have time to convince her.

One crazed mommy said...

Hoping that a job offer comes soon!! And I don't like the label... :( Hope all is well!

Alissa said...

Indeed.com is where I have found all of my jobs-get creative with the searches. Also be willing to. ..gulp... settle for a job that isn't completely related.

Beverly Keefe said...

Love this article..feel so badly, as she is one of so many graduates looking for jobs. Has she tried the medical venue of opportunities, ie, nursing homes, hospitals, personal care homes, health care insurance agency's ? Also, home health care providers, as they must employee nutritionists.

Have said daughter look online at postings for Highmark-Blue Cross/ Blue Shield, and school districts especially with the new federal healthy mandate laws.

I will pray for you both...

BakingSuit said...

There are a bunch of Nutrition related jobs in the Capital District up here. Many at hospitals or community centers.

This one doesn't pay much, but it's a great group in this area that does really good work http://www.indeed.com/rc/clk?jk=8517a07b85030e8b and the cost of living around here isn't too bad.

Thinking good job thoughts for her!