Dear Members of the Universe, President of the WIC organization, Publishers of Nutrition Magazines, Fitness Organizations and anyone else who MIGHT need the services of an adorable, brilliant, slightly bitchy 24 year-old nutrition graduate from Smithsylvania State University:
The daughter AND the mother in this small, tiny apartment are desperately seeking an entry level position in the very popular and apparently competitive field of Nutrition, Dietary Science, Exercise-Craziness, or all out crazy healthy organic gluten-free living.
(She) Will work for an incredibly high salary so that she can begin to pay back the five BAZILLION dollars she took out in student loans (while her parents were divorcing) while attending the five-year program at said University. Sure, she worked two and sometimes THREE jobs during said five years, but only managed to accumulate more SHOES, clothing, several very nice TANS and who knows what else.
She may also work for free as long as you can guarantee her a job FAR, FAR, FAR away from her mother. (And don't worry if she needs to re-locate....I packed her bags MONTHS ago....)
There. Now, for all that is holy, please, please let the job offers begin……..