Omg, how can I POSSIBLY finish ALL I NEED TO DO? (aka It is NOT the end of the year....)

It came without ribbons!  It came without tags!  It came without packages, boxes or bags!   The end of the year has come once again, and teachers are rushing to fit everything in!

I think I can speak for most teachers when I tell you what most of us all across the country are saying.  “It’s May?  MAY???? We cannot possibly have a month of school left.

“There’s so much left to teach.  I haven’t covered the Pythagorean theorem; they need to learn their square roots to a million; how to conjugate verbs in Chinese, and how to leap a tall building in a single bound! There’s SO much left to do!!”

Yep, in the blink of an eye it’s here. But the truth of the matter is, no matter how many hours are in the day and no matter how many days are in a year, all teachers end the year feeling that they need a BIT more time with their class.

I sat with the children on carpet today and we talked about all the things that they had learned in this, their first year of school. 

“Boys and girls, we’ve been in school a billion days…or maybe 153.   Can you tell me some of the things you’ve learned this year?” 

I learned that numbers keep going.  They never, ever stop!

I learned my times tables and multiplication! (Huh?  I’m better than I thought!  I wasn’t even TRYING to do that!)

I learned that if you don’t want something you say, “No thank you!”  We learned to always bring our good manners to school. 

I learned that if something happens, and you have a bad day at school that the next day at school is a brand new day and you can always start over!   Every day is a new day!

I learned that you always flush the toilet.  Oh, and that you always shut the door when you go to the bathroom.  

I didn’t learn anything.  (Wait, aren’t you the one who is reading now?  Doesn’t that count??)

I learned you should never be too active- because I was too active and fell off the table.

I learned that a wetland doesn’t have to be wet.  (Well, we are waiting for Mother Nature to fill our new wetland.  It WILL be wet.)

I learned to be nice, and to say yes if someone wants to play with you.

I learned that friendship never ends.  Even if you get mad at someone, the next minute you are friends again!

I learned that if you want to keep a friend you have to be a friend.

After our discussion, we took a short trip down to the first grade hallway to see the “big kids”, meet some first grade teachers and ask them some burning questions. (I overheard one little fella say to another, “Boy, I hope we get a nap in first grade.  I kind of miss that…)  As we made our way down the hall, our little Ruthii turned to me and said, “Mrs. Smythe, we’re not actually GOING to first grade to STAY, are we?” 

“No, we’re just going for a quick visit!”

“Whew.  I was worried.  I’m not quite done with kindergarten yet.”  And with a smile and a Skip to My Lou, she rushed ahead to join her curious classmates on the next leg of what will prove to be an exciting adventure. 

(This is one of my kindergarten columns from several years ago.  I am WAY too busy to think this week.....and if you're a teacher, you KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!) 

How to make your mother a star on the highway.

If your mom drives HER car to your campus to take you to the orthopedic surgeon after you break your ANKLE in an INTRAMURAL SOFTBALL GAME on the next to the last day of school before summer break, there are many ways you can thank her.

For example, you can give her a hug, tell her she's the best mother in the world, maybe buy her lunch or perhaps a coffee.



And when she leaves you HER automatic SUV to drive home because you broke your LEFT ankle and can't drive your standard car home, there are other various ways you can thank her for that.  But many of those are for the boring and mundane folk.



Leaving your panties on the top of the laundry basket in the trunk so that the lacy thong FLAPS in the wind as she races down the highway and attracts honks from MANY passers-by was brilliant.  Absolutely @*#&ing brilliant.

Tag - I guess I'm it.

Holy Moses, can't ONE of you figure out how to slow down time?

This morning I walked down the gravel pathway to school juggling my coffee, teacher bags, workout clothes, keys and lunch.  It’s a ritual I’ve performed for 162 days, and again I clumsily opened the door - managing to spill only a few drops from my coffee cup on the white shirt I was wearing.  

I stood inside the door re-assembling myself and glanced down the primary hallway.  I suddenly realized that in a few short weeks I would have to say goodbye to the all the children that I’ve fallen in love with this year.  Sure, I might have had to yell a tiny bit this year, might have gone home with several headaches and used my “think about it chair” more than once, but I reminded the children that a teacher’s “lectures” are exactly like the ones they receive from their parents; we can yell and love at the same time.

I gathered the children on the carpet for morning meeting and as usual, our discussion veered severely off course and we started talking about the group of children who would be coming into the classroom next year.  I asked the children if they had any advice to offer them. After I reminded them for the one thousandth time that I couldn’t listen to 19 voices at once, here’s the important advice the kids had to offer.

Gavin – “You never hurt anybody.”

Abby – “Be sure to always turn off the water.”

Channing – “Yeah, be sure to turn off the faucet because if you don’t it will make a HOT mess!”

Jack – “Never put too many paper towels into the toilet cause then Mr. G. will have to take them out with gloves.”

Sally – “Don’t throw a fit and hit your friend cause then you will get in big, big trouble.”

Tino – “Always flush.”

Parker – “Never break the glasses that you need to see with.”

Emma – “When you fall off the monkey bars, you get right back on.  Even though I can’t DO the monkey bars.”

Sasha – “Never play tag in your house.”

Bella – “Do NOT climb on the counter by the window to look outside when you think the teacher is not in the room. “

Ditta – “When the teacher says to do something, you just have to do it.” 

Tino – “Oh, and never climb up the rock wall and then break your femur.”

Connor – “Always use soap.  Oh, and always, always be good and nice to each udder.”

At the end of the day I watched as they chatted happily with each other on their way out the door.  I glanced around the room for stragglers when Sasha came running back into the classroom. “Mrs. Smythe! Can I have my hug?” she asked quickly.

I hugged her, grabbed her hand and we made our way quickly to her bus.  Sure, we have many rituals in school, but the ones I will miss the most are the ones that remind the children that even though we might use a firm hand when guiding them along the way, we still end the day with a little bit of love.