YOu men are all alike. Remember?

I KNOW, I know, I have shopping/wrapping/baking to do, but I HAD to share a funny story from last year. I saw the little fella this morning, and he provided me with yet ANOTHER funny story I'll post tomorrow. However, this one will give you a peek into his adorable mind. Here's the post from last year! (I'm sure some of you remember him...)

Yesterday morning Jackson came RUNNING into the classroom.

"I have a present for SUSIE! I have a PRESENT for SUSIE!!!" He was yelling this to me at the top of his lungs. (And kind of running in place at the same time. Can you picture that???)

"Go out and wait at the coat closets for her then. Remember, she is usually late."

Jackson went out to the coat closet, waited for a few minutes, and then ran BACK into the room, yelling the same thing. "I have a present for SUSIE! I have a present for SUSIE!!!" And then he turned and ran back out to the coat closets.

This went on for at LEAST ten minutes. (Which, in kindergarten time is like four hours....)

Finally, he came in the room empty handed, stood in front of me and looked at me like he wanted to say something.

"What, Jackson? What is it? Did you give Susie her present?"

"No. I got TIRED of waiting for her. I just gave it to Hannah." And with that, he turned and sat down.

And THAT is why Jackson will keep me in blog material for the rest of the year! I love that kid.

Tired of waiting, my #**. You men are ALL alike......

A real time AUTHOR with a great giveaway...

Typically I do not do book reviews. No, it’s not because I’m all hoity toity, or too ABOVE doing reviews - I’m right down here in the gutter with the rest of all you sleazebags.

No, it’s because I FORGET. I receive wonderful books, I read them, and then my LIFE GETS IN MY WAY and I forget to post the review. I hem, I haw, I try to WORK for a living, some people here insist I do laundry, I TRY to cook for God’s sake and I CAN’T KEEP UP. Well, that and the fact that it’s only the trashy romances that grab my attention. Those, and my boyfriend Steve King’s books. (I might be one of his 14 mistresses. But I’m not coming out until the rest of them do.)

However, I am always a sucker for children’s books, and am constantly on the prowl for books that my own flesh and blood might be bribed to read. (They claim they know HOW to read, but I have yet to witness the actual act of reading. This is one of the many reasons I might NOT be their actual birth mother. Had I not actually BEEN there each time, I would definitely argue the point.)

I stumbled upon Barrie Summy’s blog at some point last year, and discovered that she was not only a fabulous writer, but a wonderful person as well.

I was intrigued by her YA books called “I Don’t Do Mysteries” because I was OBSESSED with Nancy Drew books when I was young. In fact, when I was fifth grade I used to pretend to be sick so I could stay home and READ. Yeah, read. I was one SICK child.

She sent me one of her NOT YET PUBLISHED books (I’m special) and I loved it. I, in turn, passed it on to my school librarian (she’s a DOLL) and SHE loved it.

Barrie has generously offered a SIGNED copy of the NOW published book, along with a cool, cool shirt. Let’s get down to some details.

In order to win you must do the following.

1. Leave me a comment. (Preferably one that makes me laugh out loud- but I’m not picky.)

2. Do something nice for someone today WITHOUT them knowing it was you. Either slow down while they pull out of their driveway, let them in front you on the road, leave someone a treat- you get it.)

3. Save your Box Tops for education and either send them to ME or take them to a school in your town. They really DO work, and we have a darn nice See-Saw on our playground to prove it. (Here in Oregon.)

4. Find me another 1200 followers. I am STILL in shock that people come here to read about my crazy life. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. (I know I'm the poor white Oprah, so I'll try to get my hands on a few thousand matchbox cars and get them in the mail. YOU get one, YOU get one, and YOU get one.)

5. Go visit Barrie here.

6. Do one or all of the above. You can enter as many times as humanely possible.

Winner will be announced when I get around to it. (Or tomorrow).

(Wal-mart provided me with TWO gift cards to give away. Go here for that!)

You'll always be right here beside me...

When my mother and father passed away, I somehow managed to land the many, many ornaments that adorned the trees of our childhood. In fact, I doubt there was any arguing, begging, pleading or bargaining - I just ended up with boxes that surprisingly held the treasures.

When I unwrap each treasure, I find myself wiping away the tears. They are tears of remembrance, tears of joy, tears of love and tears of sorrow. It's a ritual I attend to each year, and one that I feel invites my parents into our Christmas spirit.

These in particular are special to me. They were made by my darling mother.

My good friend, Scope, insisted I share.

Are you happy now?

Who should sponsor me to Blissdom. (Or, why I’ll never be a Real Housewife of Smythe County.)

They say that when searching for a sponsor for your blog, or for an event, that you should first go (and when I say go I really mean beg shamelessly) to the companies or brands that you and your family use the most. Okay. Here goes.

1. Goodwill. What can I say? Frankly, it’s recycling at its BEST, and if we ALL shopped there, then none of us would feel like hiding when we run into parents of kids in our classrooms, or co-workers looking for gag gifts. If we really wanted to go green, we’d ALL be shopping there.

2. Ramen Noodles, Mac & Cheese and Barilla Pasta with Generic Sauce - Thanks for keeping my family in food for the last ten years. I didn’t think we’d be eating it QUITE this long, but we’ve all convinced ourselves we’re eating it because we love it. (Pasta = big savings. And apparently a big butt.)

3. Middleswarth Barb-b-Que chips. You are the BEST chip in the WORLD, and I’d like to thank you for the 25 pounds I plan on losing in the next six months. I wish I could quit you. Well, you and the cheese.

4. Angel Soft Toilet Paper- Not only are you CHEAP, it seems we are constantly in need of you. You’re kind of like funeral homes and beauty shops. Even in a recession, you’re always packed.

5. Dawn Dishwashing Soap – YOU can thank my crappy dishwasher for our constant need of you. Oh, that and the fact that our coupon saver always has your coupons, and Giant doubles them. (Jesus, you’re practically FREE.)

6. Nikolai Vodka- I can’t for the LIFE of me figure out why they don’t sponsor me. Don’t they have RECORDS of people who BUY their vodka? I pay their SALARIES for the God’s sake.

7. Wal- Mart. I know, I know, but for us poor people it’s like the Holy Grail. Not only do I spend MORE than what is in my account there each month, they have given me TWO GIFT CARDS to give away. (If I could keep them and get away with it, I would. Let’s be honest.) (More on the giveaway tomorrow.)

8. Bissell Carpet Cleaner and the Carpet Cleaning STUFF that goes with it - You can thank my two dogs that continue to pee all over the carpets. One is senile (so we forgive her) and the other is just trying to piss me off. (It’s working.)

I'm sure I could come up with a few more, but apparently I need to start some Christmas Shopping, perhaps some baking, my Christmas Newsletter and someone is insisting I clean. (Where's my shotgun?)

I have glitter in every piece of clothing I own...

We have spent several BILLION days making menorahs, Christmas trees, Kwanza pictures, Santa’s, stockings, Greeting cards and anything else that REMOTELY resembles a holiday in December.

After reading books about REAL Reindeer, and talking about the “other” reindeer, we also made a bag of “reindeer food” that consisted of marshmallows, glitter and love. (Did I mention I have a headache?)

As I sent the children out the door today amidst a cloud of glitter, sequins and confectioner’s sugar, and carrying their reindeer food in their hands, I heard one little girl ask another what was in the bag. Her response?

“It’s for the goats.”