I'm disausted...

In order to be a successful kindergarten teacher, one must be bi-lingual. You must be fluent in what we like to call kindergarten-ese. Here are some of the more common words used in this language, followed by a sentence in which that word is used. This might shed some light on its definition!


Disausted: Mrs. Smith, I’m disausted.

Shmergency: If someone cuts off your head, it’s a shmergency.

Chickmunk: Did you see that huge chickmunk?

Balentimes: Here are my balentimes, Mrs. Smith.

Bodder: Shoe-fly, don’t bodder me…

Udder: The udder day, I got a new transformer!

Invincible: (not to be confused with the real word.) If you can’t see me Mrs. Smith, it’s because I’m invincible.

Micole: My big sister Micole is mean to me.

Remembery: Don’t worry, Mrs. Smith. I have a great remembery!

Tomayo: I’m gonna bring my doll to show-and-tell tomayo.

Wunch: Mrs. Smith, I don’t wike what’s for wunch.

Wike: Mrs. Smith, I don’t wike what’s for wunch.

Towin:  My name is Towin.  (Collin.  Yes, the speech teacher will be coming in to take a look at this one...)

Fad: Is Fad here today? (Thad)

Nafanial:  No! It's not Nafaniel, It's Nataniel  (From one of our Korean students, talking about Nathaniel...)

Bomit - I'm gonna bomit.

Mushally - Mushally the moon is yellow, but last night it was red.

Betended - She just betended to throw up.

Cyean - We need to cyean up before yunch.

Yunch – We need to cyean up before yunch.


I fink that after six years, I’m pwactically fwuent.



Sass said...

So you'd fully understand when my 5 year old finishes her "breafkiss" and wants to be "discused?"

Of course you would. ;)

unmitigated me said...

I had a Cowthton (Carston) a couple years ago. In 6th grade!

Anonymous said...

You forgot "basketti" . . . with gawlic bwead!

Formerly known as Frau said...

Too cute...my daughter use to say I want to wear a mikini!

Mary said...

I like "mushally" I'm going to start using it

Christy said...

Mmmmm wunch, yunch...so cute and so funny.

Ann Imig said...

Great post, Vodka.

May I add:

Five: I just got Pokemon Binocole! (monopoly)

Two: We're going to Five's Congratulations! (preschool Graduation)

Cora said...

My daughter always loved her Yife ceweal at bweakfast and her favorite planet was Earf.

I miss those days.


Carolyn...Online said...

I hate it when bomit happens.

Unknown said...

another one to add to the humor...
my daughter thought that the
Pulitzer Prize was the...
Pull it..surprise!
And she asked me what the surprise was after you pull it!

LPC said...

Yeah, mushually rocks. Can't wait for grandkids. But yeah, maybe I can...

darsden said...

LOL that's not kindergarden...that's living in the South babe'

yes I know it's kindergarten...lol

Bobby G said...

When i was a lower Case G, I used to say Moise for airplane (cause of the noise maybe?) Atatakadee for motorcycle (Again cause of the Harley sound?) Lol

Anonymous said...

hey, i'm fluent in that, too.

Charmaine said...

I want your life. Can we trade for a day? I can promise you a bunch of men chasing your ass in convertible Porsches.

Come-on...it'll be fun.

Of course when you get back, you're kids will likely need some type of medication.

But they're young. They'll spring back.

Pollyanna said...

My daughter is entering kindergarten this fall and she says, "Brecksfist" for breakfast - drives me nuts!

Kimberly said...

LOL! This all sounds so familiar. Oh, wait, it's cause he want his tweet now cuz his bweakfist is all gone now!!

I better get to it! :)

I'm Grace said...

I totally understand this language.
My son used to crack me up. He would say
"Dad, conk the corn" (honk the horn).
And my daughter would say "are we taking the pukons to the store." (coupons).
I miss the little ones!

Unknown said...

LOL, just love this, especially bomit!

JC said...

It's been a while since I volunteered in my kids kinder class but you just reminded me ... they did talk that way ...

Anonymous said...

Two of them make a nice combo: "Betending to bomit". Here's one from my stepson, last Christmas: "Mormons". Used in a sentence: "Mom, can we hang some mormons on the tree?" (He may have meant ornaments.)

Amy Sue Nathan said...

My favorite ones from my own kids?

Pick me down: Done after one has been picked up.

Lasternight: the conjunction of yesterday and last night. Duh.

tiff said...

love it.

kinders are so incredibly creative...and yet we squash that before them become adults...bummer deal!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Yady, dat was de-ricious!

Sue said...

My oldest daughter teaches after school art classes in a low income area to kindergarden and first grade. I LOVE what little kids say so she shares frequently what comes out of the mouth of babes! In our family, those special words that come out of my granddaughter Riley's mouth we use daily. For example, if Riley tries to lift something that is heavy, she says "hebby". That way we never, ever have to refer to someone has "fat", which is mean. So we just say, "oh, she is just a little hebby"! Thanks for sharing all the new words I can now share!

blognut said...

I have a whole collection of words written down because each of my 3 kids had their own language.

humbugger - hamburger
yiddle - little
user - loser
jars - jennifer

That last one gave my husband fits because he was afraid that it would someone evolve into 'jugs' and that's not an appropriate name for his daughter.

laughingwolf said...

what, no 'hangamers'? :O lol

The Demigod said...

If I could burst from "awwww"-ing too much, I'd be in splattered in a million pieces on the walls.

I love this, and I love YOU for being in my bloggy life.

You're teh awesomes.

Kim said...

I bet they also like to get books from the liberry.

Lynn C Mama to 3 said...

My favorite is still when my son says "its sunny days" instead of "its a sunny day." I feel bad that he'll still be saying that in high school because I make no effort to change it. Then again, he's only 3.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Here's a good one: Furchina.

Guess what that is? That was my daughters way of trying to use the anatomically correct word for her private parts. :)

SkylersDad said...

Nice collection, but didn't you leave out any reference to poops in pants?

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Love these. My guys are all little, so everything they say is up for translation. George is the best. He calls leaves, "leaps" and instead of "don't touch," he says "don taunch." I will be sad when they start speaking clearly.

262mom said...

I'm not ready to see these go...I was glad we got through K without a rec for speech therapy:)

The Peach Tart said...

Oh these are adorable. I don't know how you keep a straight face.

Unknown said...

My favorite of my daughter, lasterday:anything that happened in the recent past. Yesterday, last week. It happened lasterday

Miz Q said...

Love the kid speak! it's my favorite part of the lol cats site:

Always especially endearing are the ones we adapt into our own family speak and carry on for another generation.

Unknown said...

Ohh, if you could only be Katie's teacher, then I could stop spending $100's on her speech therapy :)

Pam said...

Boy do I love your blog! You make me laugh everyday!

Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahaha. I used to have a great remembery too.

Have a terrific day. :)

Michel said...

HAHA! My neice used to say, MissKell (she could never say my name), when I grows up, I want to work with amnimals in the hopsital. I want to be a vegeternarian.

I still love it!

beth said...

that's all ridicli-ous (which is an official term for the whole family here now, thanks to my 5 year old)! my daughter cayabibibet would love your class (you may hav to call her caroline eliabeth, though)! have a good day!

Sandi said...

It all makes perfect sense to me now. This is why we get along so well, we speak the same language.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Ahhh! I am in danger of creating a very strange adult, in the guise of my 5 year old. I just love how he speaks and can't bear to correct him. Gradually he is growing out of it... daughter has only just stopped saying crococridal (crocodile) cos we liked it so much. Honestly, this growing up malarkey...

Yo said...

i'm going to bomit!!

beth said...

by the way...that one sentence in my earlier post is supposed to read: you may have to call her caroline elizabeth, though. damn me for not proofreading!

Fragrant Liar said...

Here are a couple more from the House of Fragrant Liar:



baiting suit


Fragrant Liar said...

One more: My birthday is Nextember.

Keyona said...

I'm still trying to get my chick out of saying: Memember when....

No such luck yet.

Mimi Lenox said...

I'm just betending to be on summer vacation. It's awesome!

Joanie said...

Necorize: Hey! I necorize that guy!

Joanie said...

I forgot to say necorize was from my son.

My daughter used to call the telephone the "hello".

Sara said...

I think if a child came to me and told me they were going to "bomit", I'd probably giggle and then they would, in fact, "bomit" on my shoes.

Stopped by from SITS!

Kimmy @ kimmythingy said...

Oh my goodness! What a co-incidence, I used this exact same image about a week ago for an entry. I think he tells a good tale ;o)

Some of those new words should absolutely make it into the dictionary. I particularly like remembery!


Ivanhoe said...

Thanks for the laugh, Vodka. My Monday was not going so well, but you made it better. As always :o)

me in the pink said...

I get it!! I'm disausted myself today!!! Isn't everyone disausted on a Monday?

Susan said...

Mo used to say, "early ago," to refer to something that had happened in the past. Being a teacher, I'm sure you're familiar with vomzorb - that sawdust stuff they use when someone didn't betend to bomit. I wonder where they sell that stuff?

Mango Girl said...

I love bomit. I am smirking, thinking of when I can use it and not come across as a complete idiot.

Lola said...

I got one for you. My daughter cannot say cellular phone. She is 16 and to this day avoids it by saying cell phone.

If she tries to say cellular phone, she instead says:

celery phone.

Vodka Mom said...

oh my GOD these comments are FUNNIER than my POST!!

I am totally using these in my column next month. Just warning you all RIGHT NOW!!!

I am still laughing.

Jessica said...

ha- lola!! my 14 year old still says "cellephone" kinda like a telephone except you can take it outside!!! oh and she also still says "movie thee-tee-er"!!!

Unknown said...

As my nephew would say: "That was historical." Of course, he means funny, but you can take it in either context.

I'm a follower now.

Almost Mrs Average said...

That sound like my nights in a pub as a student :-D

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Ha! Spot on.

My son is an F-abuser. Fink and stuff like that he would do often.

Coco said...

Wow. You weally have it down. I didn't wike what I had for wunch eithor. ;)

Lawyer Mom said...

I'm wiking the bomit. It just has a certain ring to it.

Patsy said...

Sang tink happen wis me wis my estudints. Is so much confussed!


cheatymoon said...

Wuv this post, VM.

Aren't those kids in Oregon out of school yet?

Unknown said...

Lastday, we had letti for supper & the littles were firsty to deaf.

You got all that, right?

Suzy said...

Lord I didn't read one other comment because who does that?

But I talk like these kids so you can MOST ASSUREDLY bite me because these are my peeps.

Suzy said...

Lord I didn't read one other comment because who does that?

But I talk like these kids so you can MOST ASSUREDLY bite me because these are my peeps.

Zip n Tizzy said...

My nearly kindergardener asked me to pick up his "Bagina" off the floor of the car today. I nearly crashed.
Apparently his bagina is a piece of pink paper. Who knew?

Jeanne Estridge said...

My daughter went to kindergarten with a kid named Germy who used to talk dirt to her on the bus.

Concerned, I said, "Just what is this dirt he's saying to you?"

"Dirt," she said. "He says, 'dirt,dirt,dirt,dirt.' He knows it makes me mad!"

Gotta love 'em.

(At the other end of the spectrum, my post today is on geriatric sex...."

Merrily Down the Stream said...

My kids watch The Cartoon NeckWork and this September we are going to Yew Nork! I don't correct them - it is too cute.

steenky bee said...

Yunch?! How much do I love THAT?

Raven said...

I used to get comfortable and situated mixed up when I was little. So, I would say "Mom...I can't get conserated!" :)

Trina said...

Between your post and the other comments, I have laughed my butt off!

I subbed in kindergarten for 6 weeks right after I graduated from college. One of my favorite guys would replace his Ls with Ws and his Ys with Ls, so he said wower-case lellow wetters instead of lower-case yellow letters. Another little guy called Abraham Lincoln "Abra Lincolnham."

KMcJoseph said...

Chickmunks are a menace to society.

This IS The Fun Part! said...

My son would have eaten 'frumps' seven times a week if I would have let him! That's shrimp to you and me!


This IS The Fun Part! said...

And - not to change the subject or anything . . . what happened during the questioning of all suspects last night???

You know that we are all dying to hear the bloody details!


david mcmahon said...

Brilliant! My first visit here - but not my last!

Lilly said...

Oh yes you are fwuent, alright. Great post!!

Kari said...

I love it!

Tonight at dinner, my little girl asked me if her fork and spoon were her "youpencils". Yup. Exactly.

Unknown said...

Lol. Geez, I'm glad I got to this post a little later than usual; I got to read all these great comments!
I have two boys, two years apart, just turned 5 and 7 and they just won't stop 'un-ignoring' each other.(annoying, isn't it?). They also hate when I ask them to 'organacize' their toys!
My 2 1/2 year old daughter eats 'wahmun noodies'(ramen noodles), is 'cared to biders'!(scared of spiders), and loves our 'petty pink wose powers' out front. (pretty pink rose flowers)
Thanks for another great laugh!


Kat said...

I am fluent in toddlerese

Anonymous said...

I have so, so many after seven kids.

"Oh what fumitz" Jingle Bells, think about it.

"*ucky Tried Chicken" KFC in later years.

"Reddolph the Rude Nosed Reindeer"

From Foxymoron.

"The Young and the Breastless" Seriously, my girl was not quite three.

"Pooey the Bear" for "Winnie the Pooh".

Beth said...

We have a little girl at our school who loves to come to the oppice (office) to spread her perry ust (fairy dust). And we love for her to come because she is just so dang cute!

Julie said...

Too funny! My kids still say chickmunk. I enjoy it so I don't correct them :)

Thumbelina said...

Oh wow! That is fabulous. It made me smile and brought back some memories.
Thank you for the dictionary. And the memories. My remembry isn't as good as the little ones'.

Over by way of David. Congrats on POTD.

Unknown said...

Congrats on POTD Contender!!!

Anonymous said...

So good and so true.

Here from David's POTD award to you.

Cheffie-Mom said...

You are very fwuent! Love it! I came over from David's authorblog. Congrats on the Post of the Day Award! Well deserved!

Eve said...

Those are adorable!

My four year old niece used to call gymnastics 'binnastics'

immersion said...

"Let's get agonized!" my son blurted when trying to organize.

This brought big laughs. Thanks!

Craig Glenn said...

This post should come with a warning label. I have a pulled muscle in my rib cage and read this with tears in my eyes!

Great post! Congrats on POTD.

Craig Glenn

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

I'm sure you will bemember all of those forever!

Kathleen said...

Best laugh I've had in months!!!! And to contribute to your next column, I offer:

GRIPTION: the quality needed for boots during Minnesota winters so that one does not fall on the ice.

CONTROLSIVE: "Mom, stop being so controlsive. You don't have to call the parents of the kid having the party!"

NAKUNE: the thing that goes on your lap when you eat

LilliGirl said...

And now that summer is here thay can all go home to color with their crowns while wearing their baby-soups in case they get to go to the poo!

MaureenB said...

"My grandma lives in misery (missouri)" from my then 4yo. As she was referring to my mil, I was amused.

Techno Angel said...

I got one for ya.... My neighbors sons come running up to me one day and the younger one says "Where is your titty! I want to pet your titty!". Needless to say, I stood there shocked for a second all red in the face because his mother was right there until I realized he meant KITTY! I had just gotten a kitten.....

tera said...

I'm a little behind on my blog reading, so I just found this today...

My nephew has cute ones like "shragon" for "dragon" (we all call them that now) but my very favorite is "scartled" for "scared/startled". It's such a great word!
He gets it from my brother, his dad, who said things like "kitchen" for chicken, "walnut" for wallet, and "finater new you" which took us forever to figure out meant "theater near you!"

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Unknown said...

This made me laugh so much. My favorite mispronunciations at my own house are that one daughter says "banket" and the other says "blanklet," as if one stole the "l" from the other.

yanmaneee said...

100% real jordans for cheap
christian louboutin shoes
retro jordans
lebron 15 shoes
ralph lauren uk
off white clothing
zx flux
nike flyknit racer
nike sneakers for men
moncler jackets

Sharon Wayne said...

I want to thank Dr Emu a very powerful spell caster who help me to bring my husband back to me, few month ago i have a serious problem with my husband, to the extend that he left the house, and he started dating another woman and he stayed with the woman, i tried all i can to bring him back, but all my effort was useless until the day my friend came to my house and i told her every thing that had happened between me and my husband, then she told me of a powerful spell caster who help her when she was in the same problem I then contact Dr Emu and told him every thing and he told me not to worry my self again that my husband will come back to me after he has cast a spell on him, i thought it was a joke, after he had finish casting the spell, he told me that he had just finish casting the spell, to my greatest surprise within 48 hours, my husband really came back begging me to forgive him, if you need his help you can contact him with via email: Emutemple@gmail.com or add him up on his whatsapp +2347012841542 is willing to help any body that need his help.

maria said...

Good day everybody, This is my testimony on how I won 53,193,914 million pounds on Mega millions lottery. I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr clement,for casting winning spell for me to win the lottery of 53,193,194 million pounds,lottery ticket.I have been playing lotteries for the past 5 years now and i have never won any. Ever since then i have not been able to win any lotto and i was so upset and i needed help to win this mega million lottery. so i decided to go online and search for help, there i saw so many good testimony about this man called Dr Iyaryi,of how he has cast lucky spell lotto for people to win the lottery. I contacted him also and tell him i want to win the Mega millions lottery, he cast a spell for me which i use to play and won 53.193,914 million pounds in mega millions lottery. I am so grateful to this man, just in-case you also need him to help you win, you can contact him through his Email: allmightbazulartemple@gmail.com, and he will surely help you just the way he has helped me. i will forever be grateful to him and always testify the good work of him to the hole world. contact him via Email: allmightbazulartemple@gmail.com, or you can also contact him through his email and he will surely help you to win any kind of lottery And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number +2347051758952 Thanks Dr. clement cana also cure all others of infection disease with herbal medicine list of my work
{5} HPV
11 elargement herbal medicince

yanmaneee said...

yeezy boost 350 v2
chrome hearts online store
a bathing ape
kyrie 6
jordan 6
golden goose
yeezy 350
bape hoodie
curry shoes