
Things you do NOT want your ten-year old son to find in the yard the day AFTER you so graciously hosted the after-prom sleepover with a ton of teenage girls, most of whom you trusted EXPLICITELY.
1. Empty soda cans
2. Empty Dorito bags
3. Trash from other food items.
4. More empty soda cans.
5. An "adult" item that shall not be mentioned here but is going to be getting someone into a ton of trouble. Although it was meant to KEEP people out of trouble. And people use them in the rain. on their feet.
Yeah.
Someone’s a** is grass, and I’m about to be the lawnmower.
82 comments:
HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN.
Wait.
Nothing holy about that...
Oh Oh.......
golashas! whomever left their golashas in the yard walked on the carpet with dirty feet and sure does deserve to get in big trouble! go get 'em!
I'm just gonna say...
Oh, shit.
And I am SOOO glad I'm not your teenager right now.
Whoa nelly! Someone is in some B-I-G trouble... oops!
I am also glad that I am not your teenager as well!
I can hear the motor warming up all the way out here in the Pacific!
OOOHHHH boy....can't wait to hear the follow up on that one...
I got one...straw wrappers...popsicle wrappers...ugh...
Since I have a couple of teenagers and a small child myself, would you mind writing down what you say and letting me have the "script" for when my time comes.
Maybe the girls had a water balloon fight.
Uh oh....LOL!
Let's hope they just ran out of balloons ...
Sometimes having teenagers is no fun. And there wont be any fun at your house for a while. Keep your chin up. This too will pass.
i'm with joanie. don't be a hater.
:) ok i'd LIKE to be with joanie but we all know somebody did the dirty dirty in your yard. or close by at least.
those aren't ornaments on your rose bushes don't you know!
Let me state the positives here. You are a fab mother for teaching your daughters all about the importance of this stuff.
I know Bitchy takes her allergy meds regularly and it sounds like little sis Sassy is just as smart.
Good job Vodka mom. You are doing something right.
Egad! I dread the day I'm in your shoes.
Any anti-grandparent strategy is a good strategy.
But still.
ICK.
Hail hail the rain gear! Although, I'm told you still get wet. Usually.
Sic 'em.
for the record, I was being VERY tongue in cheek. I know someone invited a boy over did the nasty in your bushes. oh my!
Back in my AM radio days, we used to play "encore" performances of some of the old-timey radio programs. I about fell off my stool when one character went on and on about the rubbers on his feet . . .
Hey, at least they used protection . . . ?
Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn sounds like a fun party!
oh no....i would be totally peeved if i foud THAT thing too after a teenage girls sleepover.
Oops! Sorry, I'm the one who left that in your yard. I was experimenting. ;)
That doesn't sound so bad.... I was expecting BEER cans, cigarette butts, roach clips, beer bottle caps, empty Mad Dog 20/20 bottles, and condoms. Oh, there WERE condoms. Well, at least they're thinking SAFETY, huh? LOL.
Yeah, I'm actually thrilled that they used protection! Fewer oops babies, fewer STDs ... tell me again how this is a bad thing?
Oh, that's right - they're not my kids.
At least protection was considered? Perhaps it was just for demonstration purposes....you know, educational!
oh dear.
Okay you win...makes my 15 year old sleepover lack of sleeping suddenly seem pointless.
Yikes. Are you gonna do DNA testing?
Was is used or were they just fucking with you? Pun intended.
you could make a fortune selling ringside seats!
(but perhaps better than not finding one?)
Good luck finding and mowing down the culprit on your Snapper! (ooo, hope he/she doesn't share your last name.) *gulp*
Ahhhhh....was it a used one? Cuz...Ewwwwww. I found a couple of those after an overnight party. I promptly handed the boy a pair of rubber gloves to pick them up.
Wow...I do not envy you, no mam I do not. My husband and I once rented a condo in FL for vacation and when the kitchen garbage disposal wasn't working correctly he unsuspectedly put his hand in the drain to free up "an apple core or something". It was sooooo not an apple core. I almost pee'd my pants with laughter. Poor guy is still traumatized by the whole thing. Good luck.
yeahhhhh...been there done that....mine are 17 16 and 13(boy)..his edumacation is coming quickly too quickly for my taste...and they think its funny...NOT....
Ohhhhhhhhh shit.
Did you call any of the kids to see if they'd left their rubber boots at your house? That is what we're talking about here, right?
Naughty. Naughty, naughty kids.
Ruh-rooooooooooh. Dere's gonna be some 'splaining to do....
oh, snap.
Those fookin' rascals...
Can't blame it on the alcohol...
Remember kids whatever you pack in ya gotta pack out..
Smokey says...
Only you can prevent ass mowings.
Peace - Rene
I know I am in the minority here, but I had 3 friends in high school become parents. Rubber are not the worst thing in the world.
I agree with Braja!
DNA testing? Maybe, just maybe, some OTHER teenagers tossed it out the window so THEIR parents wouldn't find it. Good luck. At least they are preventing babies and STDs, whoever it was - allergy meds or not.
Whooops! Did you put on latex gloves before picking it up?
Geez.
Oh jeez, that's terrible ... someone is going to have an horribly bad day!
I can honestly say that that is probably the ONE thing I have never found in my daughters' wakes.
But then again, I never hosted a post-Prom party. . .
I am petrified
Bad Judgement - Underage "activity"
Good Judgement - Wearing golashes during said "activity"
Super Poor Judgement - Failing to police the area after said "activity"
Go get em, Tiger. And when you find them, remember to praise them for their safety technique. You know, keeping their shoes safe from the rain!
They were probably just messing around. I doubt they were just going at it in the yard. If they were then I grew up in the wrong era. I got the "the second you have sex, you WILL GET AIDS" treatment from my education in the 80's/90's.
Whenever I talk to someone who is in the age group of promiscuous "1960's/1970's" sex, I politely thank them for screwing up sex for me. No pun intended.
I would put it in a ziploc.....gather the group....hold it up and say,
"Thank you for being smart enough to use this....but shame on you for having sex at my house and leaving this behind." That way you make your point to the whole group and the guilty party will know it's them.
But gosh, I'm really glad kids know how to use those these days. Just saying.
As a mother of a 24, 21 and 18 year old. I am caught between telling them nothing or buying them condoms. Cause you know once that trains gets going, it's hard to stop it/abstain.
I'm a little afraid for them.
Ok. Stay calm. First you'll need a DNA sample and a fingerprinting kit and......oh, nevermind...just WHACK him.
I'm guessing it was out of the package.
I love your blog! Thanks for the laugh!
Ummm, maybe it wasn't any of them. Maybe the neighbors pitched it out the window. Maybe it was a drive-by offering. Maybe the dog is dating a bitch. I'm just sayin'.
OOOOF! This one hit me like a punch in the stomach. It was like a little crystal ball into my future...
Safety first???
I've got nothing....except we're getting close to this stage and I'm really nervous as I trust my kids AND their friends.
Shit!
Oh My God. I don't even want to think about my kids being old enough to do that- covering my ears *lalalalalalala*
Well, at least they were safe?
and how!!!!
I would rather find protection than have to deal with a STD or baby, but mow them down, they were wrong to do the deed in your yard. Especially when you trusted them so. Let us know if you need bail money.
Oh man... this just reminds me of all the reasons why I kept my social life far from the knowledge of my parents!
Oh, how I really miss "those" years, NOT! My kids made me crazy back then, although actually they still do today and two of them now have baby's of their own! Frightening!
Take care, Sue
You'd think kids would be more careful. Really. If you're trying to hide something, learn to hide it!
I like the idea above - put it in a ziplock bag and confront the whole group with it. You can't pin it on one individual - but I bet the group can!
You KNOW you're gonna have to share the results of this investigation don't you?
Grannie
Sounds like one of those "girls" was in drag!
So busted. How embarrassing.
Sounds like one of those "girls" was in drag!
So busted. How embarrassing.
love this post...and so not looking forward to my boys' teenage years.
good luck with thing that people wear on their feet when it rains...ha :)
wow, I'm old. It took me entirely too long to figure it out! Rubbers? I'm for SURE tuning in tomorrow for the next chapter!
And I gotta say that
Not So Glamorous Housewife's post almost made me spit my morning coffee! That was some funny stuff... poor guy!
comment number 1056...wait for it..
OMG!!!
yep that's all I got after a week on the road.
but ya know they were having water balloon fights right!
Woah Nelly - that's def an OMG moment. If I may suggest though, perhaps the conversation should be one of "I'm glad you're using protection, but I do not condone this behaivor especially with your little brother around..."
And after some of the parties I threw at that age? Please consider yourself blessed it wasn't worse...
Wow, that's some kind of party you throw.
I guess it was a used one. Well at least they are using them.
yikes! not ready for that kind of rain gear in this house yet.. or are we ever?
WHAT IS it!!!???? I feel so stupid now!!!!!
oh, is it a condom?!! :S
Good luck with that conversation...
I'm really, really happy I don't live at your house this week. Aaaah.
Before you do anything, let me pour you a drink. Do you prefer them shaken or stirred.. I prefer shaken myself.
Good luck. .... hic...
Vodka Logic
Whoa. Sooo not okay. Fire up the mower, baby!
Wow. Just wow. On the lawn?
Oh snap! I mean not literally! But you know, that somebody must be scared to death by now because I haven't read this yet and it has been three days since that happened, is she still alive?
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