6/14/09

Is there gas in the mower???


Things you do NOT want your ten-year old son to find in the yard the day AFTER you so graciously hosted the after-prom sleepover with a ton of teenage girls, most of whom you trusted EXPLICITELY.  

 

1.    Empty soda cans

2.   Empty Dorito bags

3.   Trash from other food items.

4.  More empty soda cans. 

5.   An "adult" item that shall not be mentioned here but is going to be getting someone into a ton of trouble.  Although it was meant to KEEP people out of trouble.  And people use them in the rain.  on their feet.  

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah.

 

 

 

Someone’s a** is grass, and I’m about to be the lawnmower.

 

 

84 comments:

♥ Braja said...

HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN.

Wait.

Nothing holy about that...

Kathryn Magendie said...

Oh Oh.......

Jessica said...

golashas! whomever left their golashas in the yard walked on the carpet with dirty feet and sure does deserve to get in big trouble! go get 'em!

Kay said...

I'm just gonna say...

Oh, shit.

And I am SOOO glad I'm not your teenager right now.

Queen Mama said...

Whoa nelly! Someone is in some B-I-G trouble... oops!

I am also glad that I am not your teenager as well!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I can hear the motor warming up all the way out here in the Pacific!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

OOOHHHH boy....can't wait to hear the follow up on that one...

I got one...straw wrappers...popsicle wrappers...ugh...

Expat mum said...

Since I have a couple of teenagers and a small child myself, would you mind writing down what you say and letting me have the "script" for when my time comes.

Joanie M said...

Maybe the girls had a water balloon fight.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

Uh oh....LOL!

Kate Lord Brown said...

Let's hope they just ran out of balloons ...

Jan said...

Sometimes having teenagers is no fun. And there wont be any fun at your house for a while. Keep your chin up. This too will pass.

a mouthy irish woman? ridiculous! said...

i'm with joanie. don't be a hater.

:) ok i'd LIKE to be with joanie but we all know somebody did the dirty dirty in your yard. or close by at least.

those aren't ornaments on your rose bushes don't you know!

Sandi said...

Let me state the positives here. You are a fab mother for teaching your daughters all about the importance of this stuff.

I know Bitchy takes her allergy meds regularly and it sounds like little sis Sassy is just as smart.

Good job Vodka mom. You are doing something right.

Cora said...

Egad! I dread the day I'm in your shoes.

only a movie said...

Any anti-grandparent strategy is a good strategy.

But still.

ICK.

Fragrant Liar said...

Hail hail the rain gear! Although, I'm told you still get wet. Usually.

Sic 'em.

Joanie M said...

for the record, I was being VERY tongue in cheek. I know someone invited a boy over did the nasty in your bushes. oh my!

thecheekofgod said...

Back in my AM radio days, we used to play "encore" performances of some of the old-timey radio programs. I about fell off my stool when one character went on and on about the rubbers on his feet . . .

Hey, at least they used protection . . . ?

dizzblnd said...

Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn sounds like a fun party!

Being Brazen said...

oh no....i would be totally peeved if i foud THAT thing too after a teenage girls sleepover.

Awake In Rochester said...

Oops! Sorry, I'm the one who left that in your yard. I was experimenting. ;)

Mrs. D said...

That doesn't sound so bad.... I was expecting BEER cans, cigarette butts, roach clips, beer bottle caps, empty Mad Dog 20/20 bottles, and condoms. Oh, there WERE condoms. Well, at least they're thinking SAFETY, huh? LOL.

nola said...

Yeah, I'm actually thrilled that they used protection! Fewer oops babies, fewer STDs ... tell me again how this is a bad thing?

Oh, that's right - they're not my kids.

Suzy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

Well, was the adult item used at least?

Pop and Ice said...

At least protection was considered? Perhaps it was just for demonstration purposes....you know, educational!

katydidnot said...

oh dear.

Frau said...

Okay you win...makes my 15 year old sleepover lack of sleeping suddenly seem pointless.

blognut said...

Yikes. Are you gonna do DNA testing?

Bobbi said...

Was is used or were they just fucking with you? Pun intended.

phd in yogurtry said...

you could make a fortune selling ringside seats!

(but perhaps better than not finding one?)

Angie Ledbetter said...

Good luck finding and mowing down the culprit on your Snapper! (ooo, hope he/she doesn't share your last name.) *gulp*

Michele said...

Ahhhhh....was it a used one? Cuz...Ewwwwww. I found a couple of those after an overnight party. I promptly handed the boy a pair of rubber gloves to pick them up.

Not So Glamorous Housewife said...

Wow...I do not envy you, no mam I do not. My husband and I once rented a condo in FL for vacation and when the kitchen garbage disposal wasn't working correctly he unsuspectedly put his hand in the drain to free up "an apple core or something". It was sooooo not an apple core. I almost pee'd my pants with laughter. Poor guy is still traumatized by the whole thing. Good luck.

Kelly Dawn said...

yeahhhhh...been there done that....mine are 17 16 and 13(boy)..his edumacation is coming quickly too quickly for my taste...and they think its funny...NOT....

AS Amber said...

Ohhhhhhhhh shit.

Did you call any of the kids to see if they'd left their rubber boots at your house? That is what we're talking about here, right?

Naughty. Naughty, naughty kids.

Desert Songbird said...

Ruh-rooooooooooh. Dere's gonna be some 'splaining to do....

Sarah K said...

oh, snap.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Those fookin' rascals...
Can't blame it on the alcohol...

Remember kids whatever you pack in ya gotta pack out..

Smokey says...

Only you can prevent ass mowings.

Peace - Rene

SkylersDad said...

I know I am in the minority here, but I had 3 friends in high school become parents. Rubber are not the worst thing in the world.

david mcmahon said...

I agree with Braja!

Under the Influence said...

DNA testing? Maybe, just maybe, some OTHER teenagers tossed it out the window so THEIR parents wouldn't find it. Good luck. At least they are preventing babies and STDs, whoever it was - allergy meds or not.

Alix said...

Whooops! Did you put on latex gloves before picking it up?

Geez.

SweetPeaSurry said...

Oh jeez, that's terrible ... someone is going to have an horribly bad day!

lizspin said...

I can honestly say that that is probably the ONE thing I have never found in my daughters' wakes.

But then again, I never hosted a post-Prom party. . .

flutter said...

I am petrified

Scope said...

Bad Judgement - Underage "activity"

Good Judgement - Wearing golashes during said "activity"

Super Poor Judgement - Failing to police the area after said "activity"

Fancy Schmancy said...

Go get em, Tiger. And when you find them, remember to praise them for their safety technique. You know, keeping their shoes safe from the rain!

KMcJoseph said...

They were probably just messing around. I doubt they were just going at it in the yard. If they were then I grew up in the wrong era. I got the "the second you have sex, you WILL GET AIDS" treatment from my education in the 80's/90's.

Whenever I talk to someone who is in the age group of promiscuous "1960's/1970's" sex, I politely thank them for screwing up sex for me. No pun intended.

Julia said...

I would put it in a ziploc.....gather the group....hold it up and say,
"Thank you for being smart enough to use this....but shame on you for having sex at my house and leaving this behind." That way you make your point to the whole group and the guilty party will know it's them.

But gosh, I'm really glad kids know how to use those these days. Just saying.

As a mother of a 24, 21 and 18 year old. I am caught between telling them nothing or buying them condoms. Cause you know once that trains gets going, it's hard to stop it/abstain.

anymommy said...

I'm a little afraid for them.

dana said...

Ok. Stay calm. First you'll need a DNA sample and a fingerprinting kit and......oh, nevermind...just WHACK him.

Tom Erdman said...

I'm guessing it was out of the package.

that's the story of my life... said...

I love your blog! Thanks for the laugh!

Char said...

Ummm, maybe it wasn't any of them. Maybe the neighbors pitched it out the window. Maybe it was a drive-by offering. Maybe the dog is dating a bitch. I'm just sayin'.

Tammy Howard said...

OOOOF! This one hit me like a punch in the stomach. It was like a little crystal ball into my future...

Mrs. E said...

Safety first???

lisa said...

I've got nothing....except we're getting close to this stage and I'm really nervous as I trust my kids AND their friends.

Shit!

Life As I Know It said...

Oh My God. I don't even want to think about my kids being old enough to do that- covering my ears *lalalalalalala*

Well, at least they were safe?

Merrily Down the Stream said...

and how!!!!

Wunderwoman said...

I would rather find protection than have to deal with a STD or baby, but mow them down, they were wrong to do the deed in your yard. Especially when you trusted them so. Let us know if you need bail money.

reinventingamy said...

Oh man... this just reminds me of all the reasons why I kept my social life far from the knowledge of my parents!

Sue said...

Oh, how I really miss "those" years, NOT! My kids made me crazy back then, although actually they still do today and two of them now have baby's of their own! Frightening!

Take care, Sue

Kylie w Warszawie said...

You'd think kids would be more careful. Really. If you're trying to hide something, learn to hide it!

This IS The Fun Part! said...

I like the idea above - put it in a ziplock bag and confront the whole group with it. You can't pin it on one individual - but I bet the group can!

You KNOW you're gonna have to share the results of this investigation don't you?

Grannie

Zip n Tizzy said...

Sounds like one of those "girls" was in drag!
So busted. How embarrassing.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Sounds like one of those "girls" was in drag!
So busted. How embarrassing.

Eluciq said...

love this post...and so not looking forward to my boys' teenage years.


good luck with thing that people wear on their feet when it rains...ha :)

Yvonne said...

wow, I'm old. It took me entirely too long to figure it out! Rubbers? I'm for SURE tuning in tomorrow for the next chapter!
And I gotta say that
Not So Glamorous Housewife's post almost made me spit my morning coffee! That was some funny stuff... poor guy!

darsden said...

comment number 1056...wait for it..

OMG!!!

yep that's all I got after a week on the road.


but ya know they were having water balloon fights right!

cuteellaisbold said...

Woah Nelly - that's def an OMG moment. If I may suggest though, perhaps the conversation should be one of "I'm glad you're using protection, but I do not condone this behaivor especially with your little brother around..."

And after some of the parties I threw at that age? Please consider yourself blessed it wasn't worse...

Heinous said...

Wow, that's some kind of party you throw.

Mike said...

I guess it was a used one. Well at least they are using them.

Anna See said...

yikes! not ready for that kind of rain gear in this house yet.. or are we ever?

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

WHAT IS it!!!???? I feel so stupid now!!!!!

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

oh, is it a condom?!! :S

Marla said...

Good luck with that conversation...

Wendy said...

I'm really, really happy I don't live at your house this week. Aaaah.

Laura said...

Before you do anything, let me pour you a drink. Do you prefer them shaken or stirred.. I prefer shaken myself.
Good luck. .... hic...

Vodka Logic

Kathy B! said...

Whoa. Sooo not okay. Fire up the mower, baby!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Wow. Just wow. On the lawn?

Pastor Sharon said...

Oh snap! I mean not literally! But you know, that somebody must be scared to death by now because I haven't read this yet and it has been three days since that happened, is she still alive?

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