Your broken heart...

Dear Michael,

(Yeah, that’s right people, I said Michael. I’m tired of trying to remember his pretend name, and frankly I’m too lazy to keep typing The Golden Boy.)

Dear Michael:

I can’t tell you how my heart broke in two on the way home from school today. I knew that you were mad as you walked into my room after volleyball intramurals - You were ranting and raving about the officiating, and continued the whole way out to the car. Then as we pulled away from the school you shocked me when you told me what happened at school today.

“Laura told everybody in the class that I was FAT. She wrote it in on a paper and SHOWED everyone. She said John did it, but I don’t think he would. He’s my BEST friend.” That was about the point you put your hands on your face and started crying. I am so glad that you turned your head and looked out the window, because I had no control over the tears that began to stream down my cheeks as I felt your pain. I had no words. I knew I couldn’t speak because I would have started sobbing. (Why do all of our conversations happen in the car??? p.s.) If I could have formed some kind of response, it would have surely included the fact that the DOCTOR said you were going to be a big man, and if the kids knew you were going to be 6’4” they might not be teasing you right now. However, I knew this was not the response that you were looking for.

Instead, I placed my hand on your head and did my best to hold you as you cried the entire ride home. Tonight before you go to bed, we’ll talk about friends, enemies, pain, joy, youthful ignorance and forgiveness.

Then, after you are asleep and the worries of the day are wiped away, I will pray that God gives you the strength that you will need to navigate your way through what will surely be painful and difficult teen years.

(As for myself, it’s BACK to the liquor store, cause here we go again.)


cheatymoon said...

I remember when you posted this before. My boy is 13 and is just coming out of this phase. He has stayed the same weight, but has gone from 5'9" to 6'1" within the past year.

We had a lot of tears and fat conversations prior to the stretching out.

Kids are mean and can sometimes just suck.


darsden said...

Bless his heart, man that is rough. Kids can be so cruel. I am at a loss for words here. Sending {hugs}

Beth said...

I remember this from the first post and it made me so sad. Kids can be cruel. I remember being picked on because I wore hearing aids (which I learned to hide in my backpack). One of those kids is a parent at my school now. I wonder if she remembers what she did.

Alice said...

Nothing is harder than seeing your kids crying, especially from the cruelty of others. I had to deal with it as a teacher and as a mother. It has been the hardest with my little boy now. He is a special needs child with Williams Syndrome. He comes home crying a lot because kids make fun of him. Many times they call him retard. He is definitely bright enough to understand what that means. I am sending you hugs too.

Kim said...

I see similar difficulties in one of my children's future and it already hurts!

Sandee said...

Kids can be so cruel. Another bit hug honey. You handled that very well by-the-way. Make mine a double honey. I'll be right over. :)

Unknown said...

It is so painful to watch our children grow up. My children are now adults, but those moments are in my heart forever. I found both of my sons would talk most in the car, since there was no eye contact, they could simply pour out their hearts and not be looked at.
Be strong, mom. Pray for your son, and guide him the best you can. He will know you are in his corner and it does mean a lot to him!

Fragrant Liar said...

That's tough. Other people's kids are definitely the very people you don't want your own kids raised around.

Meg said...

Yep. It sucks being a kid sometimes and it sucks being a parent sometimes.

Patsy said...

I never had children but I did have a childhood, and yes, it is painful. I am now 65m when mortality is a real issue, but I would not take the chance to relive my life if I were not able to retain my knowledge, perspective, wisdom and insight, without which we, as children, are at the mercy of others.

Unknown said...

Yes, kids can be extremely cruel as you well know. Bless Michael's heart. He has a lot of growing up to do but thank goodness he had a compassionate,kind and understanding mom who will help him along the way.

Unknown said...

my darling boy cops it regularly about being 'gay'.
he isnt of course, but at 16 friggin kids can be so cruel......he hates going to school....i cry alot too

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Difficult conversations happen in the car because you can't leave. You can't be distracted by the stuff within your house.

A big argument my husband and I were having with our teenager started in the car, but when we hit a traffic jam that was people-turned-off-their-engines bad, we were able to resolve it so that all 3 of us felt heard and understood.

Keep doing/saying all the things you're already doing. Other kids are mean and they suck. (Never our kids.) Hang in there.

Pop and Ice said...

I've only seen my son cry twice after attaining tweenhood and it was accompanied by a LOT of anger.

It was sad AND scary.

It's hard to comfort someone when you're afraid they might take a swing at you just because you happen to the be closest thing nearby on which to take out their rage.

But it's always good when they're still talking to you - giving you the good and the bad. Because that means they trust you.

Michel said...

Oh man! This post made ME all weepy. Poor little guy.

And now I remember why I hate most other people.

I want to come beat them up for him!

flutter said...

this seriously makes me want to kick someone's ass.

WarriorHeartGypsySoul said...

I was that kid growing up. It doesn't get any easier, but it does mean the world to have a parent who is there to support you and encourage you. He'll be ok.

Coco said...

If I were Laura's parents I would want to know if my child was being cruel and mean. I HATE that. I worked very hard at instilling in my girls to treat people as you would like to be treated and to put yourself in someone's position and consider how they feel.

My oldest got in several fights, yes she did, defending someone that was being picked on. People will not mess with her because of it now. I love that she takes up for the underdog, the mistreated and less fortunate. She is a good person.

kristi said...

My daughter is heavy and has gotten teased. We have encouraged her happiness and self-confidence but it is hard.

Mango Girl said...

Yes, kids are the cruelest! But some adults are as well. I, along with the rest of the stadium, had to listen to my son's coach (we're talking college here) walk towards the pitchers mound and call my son a "F***ING PIECE OF S**T" when he failed to strike out a player... That was so difficult to not run out of the stands and beat the holy hell out that piece of crap coach...you don't talk to anyone like that ~ moreso if you expect them to play better!

I still can't look at the coach without wanting to do very mean, painful things to him. The jackass.

Suzy said...

Dear Michael, all I need is an address and a description and it will be taken care of.Bring a bottle of ketchup so we can make it look grosser.

My sister was the chubbiest kid in 4 counties. She ended up on the cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine. KIDS SUCK.

Roshni said...

MEAN kids!!!!!

Oh my God..my heart is quaking now for my son...he joins kindergarten this year.

Fancy Schmancy said...

My son was overweight until he grew 9 inches in 6 months and somehow lost 5 pounds in the process. It was really hard on him until that happened. Your son will show them, and soon!

Anonymous said...

what sucks is that we just can't protect them. i feel this post so much.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Such tough stuff. I'm so glad he feels he can talk to you about it. Thank god for that!!

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