5/8/09

Watch what you say....

Last night’s conversation with Bitchy (Who’s now officially finished with her first year at Oregon State University):

Bitchy: "Mom, Sassy called and we need to pick up her birth con---"

“STOP!! STOP!!! STOP!! I told you NEVER TO CALL IT THAT!!!!!”

“Oh my god you are psycho. Okay, okay....we need to pick up her ALLERGY MEDICINE at the store.”

“That’s better.  Jesus, this is going to be a long summer, isn’t it?”

77 comments:

Kat said...

Is she allergic to babies? ;)

Jeanne said...

Better that than her anti-nausea pills.

Mrs. E said...

Yes, I do believe the summer after the freshman year was the year my husband strongly suggested that they get an apartment at college as soon as possible! (It might have had to to do with the 1 AM phone calls from friends, going out for the evening at 10 PM, or leaving dirty dishes and clothes all over the house. We felt like a dorm room!) Good luck with this summer!

Gaston Studio said...

LOL!!! Love your tags for this too!!

Have a peaceful weekend.
Jane

Dawg said...

Ah the perks of being a lesbian eh?

mo.stoneskin said...

I find that "allergy medicine" can be used in almost any situation.

"Can you help with the washing up?"

"Nah, sorry, gotta go pick up my allergy medicine."

only a movie said...

Achooooo.
Happy Mother's Day, VM

mary said...

yeaaaaah - probably lookin' at the longest summer of your life... ...to date. Hate to tell you - this is just a start. Pretty soon you'll be on "allergy pills" and they're pink and yellow.

Nancy said...

Better than hearing:
Bitchy:"Mom, Sassy called and we need to pick up Mini-Sassy for the weekend."

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Good one! One does she call Paxil?

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Ya, because we don't want to see you change your blog name to 'I Need A Martini Grandma', Well, at least not this year!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Kathy B! said...

Yikes. Makes me shudder just to think of it. I have four girls... you're like a crystal ball that can see into my future.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

As a mother of two girls, I feel your pain. Call it whatever you want, just don't forget to pick it up.

CSY said...

Oh, I'm gonna LOVE doing that when Girl Child gets old enough. something ELSE to torture my hubby with...

April said...

hahahahaha, i don't blame you. i'm so glad i have boys :-)

Anna See said...

Oh lord, you are right. It's going to be a LONG summer.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Are you teaching summer school? Might be better to stay away from the house and work. :)

Real Live Lesbian said...

Duct tape might work. Of course, you'll need the super-size one. ;)

The Stiletto Mom said...

When my mother found out about my birth control, not only did she lose her mind for all of eternity but also called me Mary Magdaline for months. True story. Hey! I should blog about that!

Joanie M said...

I took my daughter to the doctor to get her birth cont... I mean, allergy meds. No way did I want her to be saddled with that ass she was dating for the rest of her life because of a kid! Now she's with a terrific guy who will one day be my favorite son-in-law!

Now I just pretend she's not having sex and she pretends I'm not either.

Peggy said...

You sound like you'll make it through this summer and all the other summers with humor. Try a mojito and lounge by the pool...I hear it helps!

*Lissa* said...

Better than prenatal vitamins! ;o)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Across the internet, mothers of boys are sighing with relief that they don't have to worry about that one at least.

MommaKiss said...

holy crap, i snorted. loudly. nice. and AMEN to me having 2 boys. that's all I've got to add to that :p

zelzee said...

Or like MY daughter......

It was only for acne control!
She thinks I bought that story to this day.

Lee Ryan said...

I'm completely in favor of the cryptic euphemism as gentle form of denial.

Alternate example: "...seeing my doctor about a supplement to help stay in the game..."

ms. changes pants while driving said...

hahahaaha... i'm totally going to start calling it that. i am allergic to growing babies in my uterus.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Happy Mother's Day - so happy all your chicks are home.

April said...

Oregonians?!? Love it!! Too bad we are Duck fans here - LOL!

Suzanne said...

see, this is another one of those things I missed out on by not having kids!

Captain Dumbass said...

Uh... good luck with that.

SkylersDad said...

He he he, wonderful, just wonderful!

blognut said...

Way better than having to pick up her pre-natal vitamins!

Sue said...

Everything is "long" when you have three kids! Mine are all in their 20's and we still have issues! Hang in there!

Dr Zibbs said...

So when's your daughter going to start a blog?

Also, what does she think about your blog?

namaste said...

ahhh, the joys of raising daughters.

;)

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Just one more really, really good reason to have another martini!

Kara said...

I have three daughters, ages 6 and under. I shudder to think what my life will be like in 8-10 years. My husband claims that as soon as they turn 10, all parenting reverts back to me, because he can't deal with teenage girls.

Expat mum said...

Thanks for the heads up. When mine goes off to college, then rturns for the summer, I'm going to tie her up and lock her in her bedroom. It's too high up to escape from!

Fancy Schmancy said...

That's funny, cause my sister's daughter caught a stomach virus when she was 17 that lasted oh, about 9 months.

Phat Mama said...

My son said to me recently, "Momma, I need you to pick up a box of condoms for me while you're at Wal-Mart. X-large would be good."

*rocks in a fetal position while sipping whiskey from a straw*

cw2smom said...

LOL! Reminds me of a friend who used to put a b/c pill in her young teens orange juice every morning....and the girl didn't know it! The mom said..."I tell her 'I don't give a shit if you eat a bite of breakfast, but DAMN IT, I will stand there until you finish that orange juice! It's good for you!'" ;P
Hang in there! Lisa

laughingwolf said...

what's wrong with calling it 'birth contraption'? :O lol

Crazy Charm said...

Just be glad you're not picking up diapers! :)

LegalMist said...

allergy medicine... never heard them called *that* before! too funny!

The Laughing Idiot said...

I had a similar conversation with my mom when I was younger.

She was living 500 miles away at the time and I had a serious boyfriend.

She danced around the subject of "Allergy Medicine", then just blurt out, "I know you guys are serious, I want you to be safe, I just don't want to know about it. Got it? I love you."

Gee Whiz!

manker said...

the feminine mystique :) allergic to pregnancy ?

gp

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Acne medicine is more like it...you know, it does do wonders for acne.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Oh my. LOL, but this is hilarious.

Deb@Mommie Mayhem said...

After 3 kids I'm very allergic to humans growing inside me !

Breathe said...

LOL! You are my training mom mentor. Allergy pills it is.

What are condoms? Twisty balloons?

Julie B. said...

That's funny, I think I'm allergic to sex....but not backrubs ;)

Marinka said...

I hope that it's just seasonal allergies!

Pop and Ice said...

I keep offering BC pills to my daughter or at least offering her an appointment to get BC pills and she's all "MOM! I'm NOT having sex!" Yeah, but you might and they don't work so well after the fact.

LadyFi said...

Ha ha ha ha!

Desert Songbird said...

Sometimes we just don't want to know...

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...from a divided house (one at UO and one at OSU)How could Bitchy be done with school at Oregon State, when my kids still have a month to go!!!! Who's fooling whom? I have a senior at Oregon State and a sophomore at the University of Oregon...'

Cathy R

Sarah K said...

can i nominate "i need a martini grandma" comment for a bloscar?? that was awesome!!!!!!!

Mrs. C. said...

Mmmm...
9 y.o. Pony Girl recently said she wasn't going to do sex with any boy until she was married. I asked if I could tattoo that on her forehead...

Go Beavs!

SweetPeaSurry said...

HEH ... allergy meds ... you're so adorable! (and potentially psycho? mebbe ... but I doubt it)

blessings!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Will the allergy meds keep the weeds away?

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Thank god it's just allergies...

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