7/20/09

Next time don't wake your sister...


Dear Bitchy,

Thanks for waking me up last night at MIDNIGHT to tell me that Sassy was sneaking out of the house to meet some boys in the backyard.

Can’t you just leave her alone? Did anyone wake me up and tell me when YOU snuck out of the house??? (And if I recall correctly, that was the night you got your first kiss. sigh. good times.)

I would never have found out about THAT if one of the girls hadn’t snitched to another girl who in turn told her MOTHER who was my BEST FRIEND. Yeah. That was a fun phone call.

Now, leave me alone and just let me sleep in ignorant bliss like every other parent in the world. Jesus. There are just some things I don’t need to know.



(Frankly, I’m too exhausted to be grounding anyone right now…and you should know by now we parents pick and choose our battles. This is one I’m not picking.)


Love you more than you know,


Mom



77 comments:

♥ Braja said...

See why I like silence?
:)

♥ Braja said...

And you mention 'alien'? This is mine: teenagers. :)

Eternally Distracted said...

Everyone wishes for a Mum who ignores those sneaking out of the house moments. I tried it once after being grounded but was caught. My Mum became suspicious at everyone walking passed the house was staring up at my room - She came outside and there I was, shit scared, dangling from the window sill!

LPC said...

Just gotta set limits. Like, you can meet them in the backyard but you have to stay there:). Like, you can meet one boy but not three. Oh who am I kidding?

Tammy Howard said...

Oh, if you don't pick your battles, you're destined to lose.

I am shuddering thinking about that phone call...

I snuck out a lot. I turned out ok. I don't know what I'd do if I caught one of my girls sneaking out, though... hopefully learn from your example.

Being Brazen said...

you are a good mom...love your attitude.

confused homemaker said...

Not looking forward to the teen years. I never snuck out, but I never had a curfew.

Mrs. E said...

Stick your fingers in your ears and repeat after me, "La la la la la.."

Angie Ledbetter said...

This is where a house alarm on windows and doors comes in handy.

But just so you'll know, a penny inserted in a window seal will break the contact point and disable the alarm...not that I know that from personal experience with my teens or anything. :)

Angie Ledbetter said...

*window sill* Doh. Need more java.

Kathy B! said...

I've got nothing. Too busy shaking contemplating my fate with four teenaged girls in my house...

AirmanMom said...

Is this is where I am supposed to type, "I miss my daughters being teenagers!"??? Nope! Been there, survived it and am now sitting on the sidelines watching them raise their daughters. Oh yeah!
My oldest daughter has called me a couple times in tears, saying "Momma, this is all your fault...you wished that I would get the daughter I deserved".
SWEET! ;)
~AM

Sue said...

Believe it or not, they DO grow up! And, girls grow up and get it together much faster than boys, especially with the youngest is a boy, like "my boy Bryce"!

buffalodick said...

I think they call that "ignorant bliss"... I believe in it because I was and still am, a parent.. If you make them work at getting away with the small stuff, they will only get better at it!

Vodka Mom said...

Mrs D.- if you are reading this, I need your email address- you are not "hooked" up to your "handle!!!

A. K. said...

i wish my x-gf mom was like you... How i wish

Frau said...

Classic!

The Peach Tart said...

Lordy I remember those days. My girl would put duck tape over the alarm sensor on the door so she could sneak out without it going off. Don't let your girls read this little suggestion.

blueviolet said...

Oh noooooo, I was a sneaker and no way, no how, was I letting my kids repeat that!

Expat mum said...

My kids are all on the third floor in our house so if they try it - there will be loud yelps as they land on the rose bushes. Tee hee.

Scope said...

As long as you don't find something "unexpected" in the back yard, again.

The Half Assed Housewife said...

Better the sister waking you up than the police banging on the door at 4AM returning a stray child.

Stephanie Faris said...

My boyfriend's daughter is 9. The teenage years are fast approaching...

Sandee said...

You have such an interesting household. Bwahahahahahaha.

Have a terrific day honey. Big hug. :)

Scandalous Housewife said...

Smells like it's time for a good, old fashioned mama beat down on all your hooligan spawn. Just for good measure and to show 'em who's da boss.

Vodka Logic said...

My new term for teenagers is jr. terrorist... i don't negotiate with them.

L xx

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Like someone said above, I don't look forward to the teen years. I was pretty okay so I expct my two to be friggin' lunatics driving me to the edge.

Under the Influence said...

I didn't sneak OUT but believe it or not, my boyfriend used to climb IN my window and stay the night. Yikes, I shudder just thinking about it. If I had been caught I honestly don't know what my parents would have done.

Mimi Lenox said...

My Lord you need a another vacation. Would you like to come to Bloggingham for a weekend of vodka, girl time, and peace and quiet? I hear nothin' but the trees blowing in the breeze.
(making notes, that's a great blog post title...does it ever end?)

Did you ever get back to sleep?! Too funny. And not funny.
How did Sassy take the snitcher this morning?

Thank God for the caffeine gods.

Mrs. D said...

VM- mrsd.lifeasiknowit@yahoo.com

Sorry! I'll try and get that fixed up on my settings. :-)

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Pick your battles, huh, chica?

That's why you're so smart!!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Pick your battles, huh, chica?

That's why you're so smart!!

Laura said...

had no idea there was a sassy...where the hell have I been?

blognut said...

Meh. I say as long as she wasn't going any further than the backyard, it's not worth battling over it. ;) I'd let her go on thinking she got away with it, too.

Ladybird World Mother said...

DONT LET HER KNOW WE PICK THE BATTLES WE KNOW WE CAN WIN AND LET THE OTHERS ALL GO!!!! Keep it quiet, girl, or the Darlings will win every bloody battle. XXX
(hope you slept well despite knowing what you didnt need to)

Phillipia said...

Love your attitude - I am there with ya. I remember the night a guy was throwing rocks at my window thinking it was my daughters' room....I went to the door let, him in and said "wait here - I'll go get her - and next time get the right window, ok? - or better yet, ring the doorbell."

Mrs. C. said...

Do you mean to tell me they NEVER grow out of tattling? That the cry of "MO-o-m! Jones just peed on a chicken!" will give way to bigger and better things?

Pass the vodka....

(For the record, the offending child told me he just wanted to see how mad a wet hen was.)

mo.stoneskin said...

That's right, you tell her. I'll bet you never sneaked out when you were her age anyway.

Cookie said...

Yikes! Not looking forward to my kids becoming teenagers :S

~Just me again~ said...

Lol...times like this I'm glad mine are adults.

Swatantra said...

Hey nice post!! Your blog name is very cute!! I liked your blog, would like to visit again!!

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I like the fingers in the ears idea... NICE sister. Was she mad at her or something??

Jenni Jiggety said...

You mean you didn't run outside with your shotgun and scare those boys off your property?

Tell her next time to just flick on the backyard flood lights and make loud kissy noises out the window. That should do it.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Wait! Are you trying to get her into trouble or out of trouble?

That's my preemtive tattle tale strike...

Is she on fire? No? Then leave me alone!

Peace - Rene

Suzy said...

I told my mother recently that I snuck out 2 times a week when I was a teen. My gf Pattie and I would then walk to the (closed) mall. She said I was lying. I was not.

abby jenkins said...

Earmuffs!

lizspin said...

What the *ell did Sassy do to Bitchy to make her rat on her???

There must be more to the story -you just don't know it yet. . .

3 Bay B Chicks said...

It is the wise woman who understands the importance of picking and choosing her battles.

I think this is a skill perfected during motherhood. :)

-Francesca

Lynn said...

I sneaked out.
My daughter sneaked out.
My granddaughter? Good Child.
Until she confesses at, oh, say age 25 or so.

WhisperingWriter said...

I could never sneak out. My Dad has superior hearing apparently. I tried once and he scared the living crap out of me and was all, "And what are YOU doing?" I think I said I felt compelled to look at the stars or something. He didn't buy it.

Desert Songbird said...

Now, if she tries to sneak them IN the house, that's call for a wake up. As long as she doesn't leave the yard. And there are no cops. And nothing is on fire. And there are no alarms. Then, okay.

Snow White said...

I would pay to be a fly on the wall in your house. Actually I'd prefer to be a lady bug or something that doesn't throw up every time it lands, but you get the idea

thatgirlblogs said...

god, yes. gotta sleep.

Michel said...

I totally used to dime my sister out. I do believe her diary includes an entry that reads, "today my dad installed burgler bars on my window because sister mary michel is such a bitch."

Mel totally had it coming though. I stand by my actions!

Melissa B. said...

Precisely the reason that I'm only slightly sad that the chicas are going back to school in a month. Bliss might be ignorant, but it's lovely, too...

Frogs in my formula said...

Everyone's writing blog letters. What's up with that? Did I miss a meme?

I used to sneak out of the house to meet boys, but I had a slutty older step-sister who encouraged it. Ah, grade school...I mean, er, high school...

Joanie said...

Yep. There are just times when you have to remain in the dark. Hopefully asleep.

Julie B. said...

Lol - Too bad Bitchy is too old to get grounded for waking you up. I'd be pissed, too! The joys of motherhood definately include picking our battles. Katie gets away with entirely too much and after watching the Fabulous 5 Cheerleader Scandal movie last night on Lifetime (Hubby was away overnight, of course)- I realized my girl needs some boundaries! So, she got no popsicle tonight for eating with her hands AGAIN (and being given 1 million warnings during dinner). So, I'm pretty proud of myself and hope that this means she won't grow up to be a bitchy slut like those cheerleaders.

Maggie said...

Hi there, I just came across your blog and it is very beautiful. I'm looking forward to reading more about you. I hope you got a bit of rest! =)

Maggie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pastor Sharon said...

I am thanking God for my one boy who is 21 yrs old. Learning things I never wanted to know were simply draining and TMI. . . and usually too late to prevent them from happening!

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I dread the teenage years.

Scobberlotcher said...

You make me think I should film my young ones now so I will have proof of their sweetness. LOL!

In other news....I met your plane flying, alter-ego at a writers' meeting tonight. She makes money writing short fiction for Mortuary News. Who knew this was a paying market? More to come on an upcoming blog.

TheSecondGod said...

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i know it's a different kind of humour but i'm trying to make it as popular as your someday! oh and i am following your blog, i hope you can follow mine too if you have the time and find it interesting... thank you! keep up making people laugh! i really mean this.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I wonder if it will be easier or more difficult to pick my battles with just one kid...unless I should be picking battles with any imaginary friends... ;)

Fragrant Liar said...

See, here's the thing. If the girl doesn't blab now? She will later, and when she blabs about this sneak-out, all kinds of other nefarious and sundry pursuits will be released as well. It's better to get them one bad-girl activity at a time. Easier on your heart.

Fragrant Liar said...

Of course, now you have to do something about it. Later, you could sit back and while holding your heart, laugh disingenuously and really dive into that vodka. Cuz they'll tell you all about those close calls you had no idea about. Yeah, small doses is better.

The Mind of a Mom said...

You should have told "B" that is was your idea and you told "S" to do it! LoL

Counselormama said...

Thanks for stopping by! I have been kind of out of the loop since summer started! You are still so freakin' funny!

Paige Lacey said...

Ah... Sneaking out to kiss boys. Those were the days! :o)

ladytruth said...

When I think of all the things I had done when I was still a teenager, I just pray to Jesus that I never have girls. Or boys, for that matter ;)

Duck tape over the alarm sensor on the door?! Wish I had heard that one back in the day :) I think the solution is building a seven story house with the children's bedrooms on the top floor to make it a bit more challenging :) I might even try that one myself; that's if I ever find a husband to have children with. sigh ...

Madge said...

i got a tattler too -- driving me crazy.

Dana's Brain said...

I tried once to sneak out of my house and got busted (not by a sibling - just because I wasn't very sneaky) WIDE open!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Time for a lock on your bedroom door :-)
xo

A Woman Of No Importance said...

VKMom, just a reminder for you that, when the Voddie fumes die down from Blogher, and you can maybe see straight again, you said you might be able to see your way clear to a tiny, wee guest-blog over at Mad Manic Mamas - You are the best mom, and so funny, you know that, right?!

Oh, and send the girls over to me for vacay, (tell them it's English Summer Camp!), and I'll show them what a shoddy mom is! Love to you xox

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