9/3/09

Do I Smell Bacon???


I have been working my tail off to prepare for school.


However, I've also been SICK AS A DOG since Sunday, and am convinced (as is everyone around me) that I have the swine flu. If I turn pink and start oink-ing I've instructed my children to kill me.

If I DO in fact die tomorrow, I want there to be ham sandwiches and bacon wrapped wienies served at the wake.

And for God’s sake, please serve good vodka. I don’t want any of you puking in my urn. (Did you hear that Matt-Man? Make sure you bring the good stuff.)

61 comments:

♥ Braja said...

Now, I KNOW you're speaking of soy product ham and bacon, cos you'd NEVER exclude this little vegetarian from your wake, would you precious?

And I'll bring my organic vodka.....

That'll wake you up.

LadyFi said...

You surely wouldn't exclude me either?! I'm sure you're talking about fake bacon... let's scrap the whole sandwiches idea and have cake instead. Chocolate cake.

PS: Get better soon!

Scope said...

All you vegetarians can just slide all that delisious bacon my way.

And I would be careful authorizing Bitchy and Sassy to have access to pulling the plug on you.

Just saying.

Pastor Sharon said...

Well, that's a cute little oinker in the picture!

Let me guess, ham sandwiches for those of us who haven't died yet from the swine flu? LOL

Girl, I'm thinking if Braja is planning to wake you up with her brew. . . . I'll just stand close to the door! Is that disrespectful of me? LOL

Kathleen said...

Rest, fluids, rest, rest, fluids, rest rest rest. And stay home. This is a mother speaking.

Suzy said...

I have to admit that the resemblance is unhammy.

Gayle said...

Damn that Sassy! I'll bring the good vodka (and eat an extra bacon). I mean, if it's really necessary.

Joanie said...

Yuck! Get better soon. I'll have the vodka chilled and waiting for when you feel well.

Frau said...

Hope you are feeling well soon! Rest, Vodka more rest followed by more Vodka.

mo.stoneskin said...

And do you want the bacon to be smoked or unsmoked? It is important that you clarify so that we don't disappoint you.

Alan Burnett said...

I believe that some research was once undertaken which identified the smell of a bacon sandwich as being the cause of more vegetarians giving up the creed than any other reason. If it is swine flu you are better getting it now whilst the strain is still mild rather than later.

King of New York Hacks said...

I have swine flu too....you have a lot in common with my own Kindergarten teacher...she told us we all had swine flu...yet when she was sick she called it...what was it??? geez I'm gettin' old...oh yeah !!!! A LOOONGGGG HANGOOOVER !!! LOL

WeaselMomma said...

Thanks for thinking of us! I do appreciate top shelf libations and being able to indulge without puking.

Melisa with one S said...

Well, I hope you don't die (or get knocked off), but should something happen, as luck would have it, Weaselmomma came over yesterday and she and I watched the new Food Network show "What Would Brian Boitano Make?" (hilarious!) and all four of his recipes had bacon in them. So we'll cater.

But seriously, feel better!

Mrs. E said...

And this is before you have your students?? We are three weeks into school and already have two different "bugs" going around: puking and then a horrible headache, sore throat, and no fever. What is the rest of this year going to bring?

butterfliesinmyhand said...

I'm visiting over from SITS this morning. I hope you feel better soon!

Hit 40 said...

There is something going around where I work too. The kids are all turning green on me. Fall and sick already!! Yicks!!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Have a good day today!

Did you check your butt? Is there a little pink squiggly tail?

If not, it is Sassy's fault...

Peace - Rene

Brian Miller said...

yeah watch out...strep is running rampant in schools down here..little petri dishes that they are. everything is better with bacon...even your wake. lol.

Tammy Howard said...

Feel better.

Screw the wake, have you some good vodka right now. It will help you rest. It is very therapeutic. It is practically like medicine.

Gaston Studio said...

Will Grey Goose do?

Keyona said...

Ain't nobody dying if I can help it! :o) Oink.

A Mom on Spin said...

I thought little piggies ate Roast Beef????

Could you serve that at your wake???

seeing that Braja already commented, I feel safe suggesting that now. . .

buffalodick said...

I've drank more vodka than any 6 people combined on this blog, and all I'll say is- it all gets you to The Magic Kingdom! When on an expense account(30yrs.!) I could order and drink anything I wanted.. We would go to the most upscale restaurants in town, and when drinks were ordered by the group, it would sound like this: "Dewar's and a splash", "Crown Royal Manhattan", "Beefeater's Martini", then me- "Vodka Gimlet light on the lime, Generic would be elegant"...

just making my way said...

Clearly YOU need to be drinking more vodka - kill those germs with alcohol! Although maybe you should switch to gin for awhile, that's what my Dad says anyway.

Feel better!

CSY said...

Uh, if Braja wakes you from the dead does that mean you're gonna be a Zombie? And if you ARE a zombie, will we (your loyal followers) then end up Zombie food? Will we taste like chicken?

confused homemaker said...

Well now that sounds like a party, bacon & vodka. Minus the whole you being dead part, but hey I promise to do a shot for you:)

Madge said...

we've been back in school for three weeks (why is that?) and had a bug going around school the first week --we've missed it at our house. so far. but it's just a matter of time.

hope you are feeling better today.

Vodka Logic said...

That goes without saying fellow vodka lover...the header on my blog says it all.
But we won't be needing it...get well soon.
xx

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Hope it's not H1N1, Vodka. I really hope it's just the regular, run-of-the-mill flu. Scratch that! Why would anyone "hope" it's any kind of flu? I hope it's just a little common cold. =D

Try inhaling the scent of vodka from the palm of your hand (rum's much better). That may make you feel better. Please don't question my remedies. ;-)

Steven Anthony said...

there can be bo dying in the near future...ive only just met you:)

Grey goose is my vodka of choice:)

Hope u feel better soon

Mrs. D said...

Ooooh... I hope you feel better quickly! I am afraid of catching the swine flu myself, and I'd die of embarrassment if I caught it. Pig flu... could there be a worse name?

darsden said...

Hope you feel better... and if you want me to attend it better be extra crisp real bacon babe' ... gotta run I see Braja heading this way.. Take care

Sprite's Keeper said...

Hm, I'm trying to consider whether or not you would be considered Kosher. I love you like family, so I think it would be a go. Unless you're salty. My ankles can't take that kind of water retention..
xoxo
Feel better?

Under the Influence said...

Oink. I hope you feel better soon!

Renee said...

Feel better! You should take a shot of NyQuil (better than Vodka for knocking you out) and head to bed for a day or two or five.

SkylersDad said...

I have been on a straight Vodka and Bacon diet for about a month now, and I can testify that I feel great and don't look a day over 93!

Mango Girl said...

I'm with Scope. But I am truly interested in tasting Braja's organic vodka.

Carolyn...Online said...

We are swimming in Swine Flu here too. My kids classes are increasingly empty. I figure we'll all get it now so we'll have antibodies and be fully ready for the mutation that they keep talking about.

Viva la Pandemic!

linlah said...

Can you make those bacon wrapped ham sandwiches and no crust? Hope you get to feeling better.

KC said...

IOWA PORK - check
GREY GOOSE('cause you can never have too much) - check
WAKE - forget about it, we will just have a party and toast to your good health.

TexasRed said...

Yikes! Hope you start feeling better soon. (Run to the doctors just to make sure the swine flu isn't settling in your house!)

Desert Songbird said...

I'll bring the Ketel and the Stoli. Drink plenty; you'll combat those germs in no time!

Ms. Case said...

Your not dying. And you don't have the pig flu. Just have a drink and call it a day.

Get well soon!

Captain Dumbass said...

Bacon and vodka!?!? I can't wait!

I mean...

Get well soon.

Anonymous said...

“FLU UPDATE”

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu?

For bird flu you need TWEETment and for swine flu you need OINKment...

(just thought you’d like to know)

The Good Cook said...

Have you tried Tito's Handmade Vodka - out of Texas?? Yum.. Please don't die - but if you do I will bring a bottle of Tito's.

darsden said...

excuse me Vodka Mom

The Good Cook...HELL YEA Tito's is the bomb only kind I drink and never mind it's made in the great state of TEXAS USA!

only a movie said...

Hope you feel better soon -- you need to be well enough to enjoy your little cute ones!

Michel said...

Not that I want you to die or anything, but...I'm just saying....I REALLY like bacon!

Michel said...

PS if that organic vodka is anything like that damn organic low-sodium soup I bought back when i was pretending like I wanted to be healthy - I want NOTHING to do with it!!

I'll eat Braja's bacon. But would prefer Kettle one, extra dirty, three olives please. May I request that my order be placed now? It kinda sounds like you might be friends with some people with drinking problems.

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

Well...finally...you now have a legitimate excuse for the weight gain!

Malisa

Twenty-Something said...

Only the best for you Vodka Mom!!

KMcJoseph said...

Mmmmm...Vodka and Ham...

Beth said...

How about I just get some of that bacon flavored vodka and you get better? M'kay?

Cora said...

Mmmmmm.... Bacon....

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Oh dear. Such an ill-timed illness! Get better. And no more DNR orders for oinking -- we'll love you regardless.

blognut said...

There's nothing quite like putting on a good drunk at a wake.

Barrie said...

so, are you okay now? all done with your oinking?! Ha!

Vodka Dave said...

I say a few days rest and some smooth vodka may help you to feel slightly better! Maybe some hardcore vitamin C with your vodka also? :) best wishes!

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