10/11/09

Firm my, well, you know...


Dear Jergens Skin Firming Moisturizing (Firmer Skin in 2 weeks!) Lotion.


You Lie.



I’ve been using this stuff for two years and frankly, I think it’s doing the opposite.



I’d like my money back.



Love,

A somewhat saggy vodkamom.




34 comments:

LadyFi said...

LOL! We ought to start a campaign for more realistic advertising. We could have products like Saggy Bottom cream, Baggy Jowls Face cream, Putting the orange peel into cellulite non-firming lotion - and so on!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

You know what I hate? The commercials for those "cellulite-reducing" lotions where the models are women who wouldn't have cellulite in the first-damn-place. Show me that it works on some cottage cheese thighs like my own, and I'll sleep in a vat of it!

Liss said...

You must have missed the tiny asterisk that's so tiny you can hardly see it with a microscope *based on our test of 15 year old models

perhaps?

À Chacun Ses Goûts said...

Haha ooh I hate those anti-wrinkle creams and their ads with teenagers putting the cream on their face!

Frau said...

lol sorry! I love it! But I bet you still apply it cause you never know!

Ekanthapadhikan said...

I'm so sorry you fell for this one. Being a copy writer me-self for ads I know how much we have to lie through our teeth about how good a particular product.

Have a great Sunday!

Brian Miller said...

lol...ok, sorry, laughing with you, right?

Scary Mommy said...

Total bullshit. I've been using it for years and my ass is far from firm.

Tammy Howard said...

Hmmm - firmer than WHAT?

blueviolet said...

Two years? You should be made of the stuff by now.

Angie Ledbetter said...

You been drinking Jergen-tinis or applying it to unfirm areas?

CatLadyLarew said...

Ain't nothin' nowhere that can save my saggin' parts!

Melisa with one S said...

Are you sure you're using it the right way? Maybe you're supposed to mix it in your coffee or something? haha

recipes for the life said...

Ha ha ha. And you believe in tooth fairy too I guess?

Secretia said...

If you feel any better, I tried it on my boyfriend's penis, and it didn't firm him up either--ha ha.

Secretia

Jeanne said...

Yeah, firm like tofu....

B said...

I turned on the TV Thursday and there was an infomercial on that said "Look younger in 90 seconds!" Wow! Just think what one day of that product would do!

otin said...

LMAO! at Secretias Penis comment!

I tried some of that cream myself, and I got firm, for a few minutes, anyway! hahaha!

Beth said...

I'd say I'm laughing at you but given what I see in the mirror... it would be more like laughing with you. I love your honesty.

phd in yogurtry said...

A lotion by any other name would fail just as miserably at stemming the ravages of time : (

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I don't know Vodkamom; think of how worse it might be if you WEREN'T using it...
I mean, it's not like Jergen's would LIE to you or anything. It's not like they're one of your students. Or your kids.
Right?

Anna See said...

was the rubbing fun at least?

saggy bottoms unite!

Ambiance in the Attic said...

Let me know if you do find a miracle lotion!

flutter said...

yeah don't bother with Not Your daughter's jeans either. they say they tummy tuck BUT THEY LIE

Live.Love.Eat said...

Ya, if this stuff worked they wouldn't be able to make it fast enough and we'd see women piled on top of eachother in aisles everywhere.

Anndi said...

I'm sure it can firm "something" up...

Jane! said...

Think how bad it would be if you HADN'T been using firmer upper?

the mama bird diaries said...

Funny! We all deserve our money back.

Hi! I'm Alex said...

You said it! It's all crap but we keep hoping...only thing that's gonna tone my toosh is shutting my mouth and moving my ass. And frankly I'm not to good at doing either!

Sara said...

I'd say that's fair.

Lucia said...

lol, I'm using Nivea firm and it smells bad! Oh well the lengths we go through to get firm!

Ms Bibi said...

Hilarious...count me in. I want my money back too


Stopping by from SITS

Crazy Charm said...

Try dry brushing. It sounds weird but really works!

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