1/31/10

The barking dogs come in pretty handy once in a while.


You know that little bit of mom radar that we develop when our kids are infants? It’s amazing - we wake up at the first whimper, or the first cry for milk in the middle of the night. (Well, the leaking boobs are a bit of an alarm, as well...)

That radar comes in MIGHTY handy when those babies turn into 17 year-old children who TRY to sneak out or IN (has yet to be determined) at 3:48 in the morning. IN. THE. MORNING.

Me: "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??????"


Sassy: “That was my friend Jack. He just stopped here to apologize for being a jerk. And WHY are YOU up, mother??”

Me: “Jack? Wait, that’s not your boyfriend. In fact, I haven’t seen this particular friend since last summer. And I am up because YOU are up. Let’s not confuse who is in trouble here. “

"Oh, and the next time he feels like coming over to say sorry, you tell him to come during the day.

In this house we do NOT accept APOLOGIES after MIDNIGHT."




(Apology, my $**. Does she think I’m stupid?)



(Thanks for voting for me over at Babble. I appreciate it!!!)


66 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

Hee hee, my mom never caught me.

only a movie said...

Oh, that full moon is making a lot of people act foolish.

Barking dogs are helpful, though.

xo

Mrs. E said...

Yes, she does think you're stupid. She's a teenager. Anyone under 25 is stupid in their books!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

All I can say is that a few years down the road when this same child is suffering with a teen ager of her own and asks how you managed to live through it ....... you will smile ever so sweetly and ask her what she is talking about. Revenge is sweet.

Theresa Milstein said...

Why doesn't she just pretend to sleep over a friend's house like I used to?

Brenda Susan said...

Hope you gave the dogs a really good treat!
Don't you love how a teen's urgency is pretty much everything!

Sara said...

Haha, we don't accept apologies after midnight. That's classic.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I always snuck OUT, never had someone over. We had a dog...

The Mind of a Mom said...

Ya, uhmmm my 15yr old is not allowed to read this post! LoL

Jan said...

Face it - to men and teenagers, we're nothing but great raving morons.

Steven Anthony said...

This reminds me of the time I tried sneeking in the topless dancer I had met that night, my mom was up like lightining...talk about embaressing..lol ;)It had taken me quite awwhile to convince said dancer I was older than I was, so mom popping up kinda put a cabosh on my plans.... ;(u

Lorraine said...

Yeah, the quick turnaround question - they think they can derail the situation. Gotta be quicker than they are and not get drawn off target.

Captain Dumbass said...

I was a flippin' ninja at that age.

Sandee said...

Well, she's hoping your are stupid. Bwahahahahaha. I so remember those teenage years. Mine and theirs.

Have a terrific day. :)

Mainly a midwife said...

I have to say that when I was a teenager and my mom was making accurate accusations I used my "indignant" tone with her. Like, "I can't BELIEVE that you would actually think that I would do something that STUPID! I'm an A+ student, Honor Society member and Student Government President. Why would I even HANG out with those goobers?"

So watch out for that trick too!

Zip n Tizzy said...

Yes she does think your stupid.
The only apology I know of at 3 am is called a "Booty Call." (Or the hopes of one ;)
Sorry.

slow panic said...

i am blissfully inbetween the ages of not sleeping through the night and sneaking out at night. trying to bank the sleep while i can

Ellie Belen said...

This generation doesn't have a chance. We've done it all. We know all the tricks. My sister jumped out the second story window and badly sprained her ankle. Talk about crazy! But she still went anyways.

I told my mom that I was staying at a girlfriend's.

I was an all A student, so absences from school were no big deal. Now schools give you internet access to grades and attendance records.

Parents today are not as naive as ours were? Or at least I hope not. Stay vigilant.

LyN said...

oh my, seems all too familiar! well, now that i'm a mom myself, guess i'll have to wait another 11 years to go through what my mom went through before with me. and hopefully, NOT :P

Just Words On A Page said...

I am so giggling because when I was 17 my parents said bad things happened to kids after Midnight and therefore we needed to be in the house by midnight where they knew what as going on.

Okay okay -

But my folks didn't get home from work until 6 pm. I was home by 2:30 daily. So from 2:30 - 5:30 was party and sex central.

Just sayin.....

I am old now -- pushing 50, and so I laughed when I heard what your child said. Sounds like something I would have said:) Love your blog:)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I got a knock on the door from a cop because as he drove by the house he caught a friend of my daughters climbing the porch roof to get to her room. the cop says do you know him and I say no lock him up.

Yo is Me said...

oooo!!! i like it. i'll keep that in mind. omg. seventeen!!

SkylersDad said...

Funny how we all thought we were smarter than our parents.

Anne said...

I may have to stop reading you. You are FREAKING me out... I'm at 13, 10, & 8... JK. I can't stop reading... just like the way I cover my eyes during the scary part of the movie...but peek through my fingers because I am too curious. Yep, it's just like that!

Have you considered investing in DOBERMAN's as watch dogs?

Donna said...

I'm assuming this is only payback for your teenage years. How else would you know what was going on at 3am?

Fragrant Liar said...

Yes, as I have ALWAYS told my daughters: Nothing good happens after midnight.

I reserve the right to make exceptions to that on my own behalf, for when the day ever comes that I find a new man. There. I said it.

But anything after midnight is a no-go with the kids.

Adie said...

Uh oh someones in trouble.
I never got caught sneaking out thankfully.
I dread the day I have children and they grow into the teenager I was!

The Blue Zoo said...

Wow. You were a LOT nice than my mom would have been!

Im always thankful I never got caught. =)

Suzy said...

I snuck out weekly when I was 14. I'd meet my best friend Patty, who lived down the street, and we'd walk to out junior high or the shopping center. Both were closed so I have no idea why we did that. I finally admitted it to my mother recently and she was COMPLETELY shocked.

Imagine doing that today? NO WAY.

Snappy Di said...

Ummm, why yes. She does think you are stupid. All teenagers think parents are dumb as rocks. Little do they know that we did most of the stupid things they are now doing. DOH... we really ain't so stupid.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Frau said...

She is a quick thinker...you gotta give her that! My mom used to but a bell on the door dead give away every time.

Secretia said...

The fact is you know full well what's going on, and that is a good thing for a Mom do know.
You can't fool the VodkaMom!

Rachel Cotterill said...

When I was a teenager, one of my friends turned up at about that hour of night and threw stones at my window to wake me up. I opened the window to chat, but I was afraid that I'd be the one who got in trouble if I went down, even though he'd just turned up in my garden. Ahhh, it's an interesting age!

Mommakin said...

Apologizing. So that's what the kids are calling it these days...

Gayle said...

Of course she thinks you are stupid. She knows everything!

Is it the full moon. My 16-year ignored a direct order at midnight to come home. He showed at about 10am the next day. I would give him a piece of my mind, but I think my head exploded.

Eternally Distracted said...

Oh I so don't envy Mothers of teenagers... I think I may just call mine now to apologise - for everything!

Irish Gumbo said...

Only A Movie has it right; that full moon is foolish making! And you are most definitely not stupid :)

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Shopping list:

- Bread
- Milk
- STEEL BARS for the girls' windows
- SHOTGUN
- BULLETS

Fiftiesmom said...

I wish our dog had the sense to wake us when our oldest daughter went through her "Great Escape" period 5 or 6 years ago. So much more pleasant than the police ringing your doorbell at 3:00 AM. (Or her. She figured out how to get out a 2nd story window but she forget to plan her reentry)

Lori said...

oh they are SO capable of many evils! I'm learning quickly.

mo.stoneskin said...

I reckon I could sneak in without you noticing. But then you're not my mum.

Gaston Studio said...

This brought back so many memories of my girls sneaking in and out during the night... but I wasn't worried, I knew they were only going across the steet!

Sam said...

Ha! That's funny! I had a 19 year old who used to climb out the window about three in the morning because, "he needed to go for a walk and get fresh air!"
I was unaware that the air on my house was so unfresh!

otin said...

Now don't tell me that you never did that......!!! LOL

I will go vote again!

just making my way said...

I only tried to sneak out once. And got SO busted it was embarrassing!

suzicate said...

My kids are amazed at mom radar, for a long time (when they were little) they really believed I had eyes in the back of my head!

Brian Miller said...

that was slick... i mean who can get mad at an apology right? smiles.

Michele said...

You are still holding steady at #7 in the voting.

My kids wondered why I had bells hanging from all the doors and windows when they were little. I told them that it was to keep evil spirits out. Yep, it worked keeping them out and keeping them in.

Ace said...

I hear similar excuses from the 17 yr old creature that dwells with me all the time. I think what amazes me is how brazen they are with the lies. Back in my day we would have at least TRIED to make them sound convincing.

w said...

i've already told my oldest daughter that she's not allowed to date until she's married... to which she responded with:

i never want to get married. i want to stay with you forever.

i plan on writing out that contract. i'm wondering if her signature at age four is binding.

tkrbl said...

Our house has old creaky floors.

It used to frustrate me that I could hear the cat walk down the hall.

Now... I am sooooo happy for those old creaky floors. My 16 year old can't walk across her room without me knowing.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

What a perfectly reasonable rule! Did she really expect to get away with that? I remember acting all indignant when I got caught as an adolescent, like somehow I'd get in less trouble if I acted like I was the wronged party...
My kids laugh at how strong my Mom-radar is.

Becca said...

I am amazed at how stupid my 14YO thinks I am. I am sure I will be positively ignorant by the time he's 17YO!!

Carolyn...Online said...

That was rhetorical right? I mean even my 8 year old thinks I'm stupid.

VE said...

Fortunately I cloned myself at 10 and left the clone home to cover for me...

Mellodee said...

As my friend at The Italian Babushka said in her post today...."Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way. Oh, what's the matter with kids today??"

Maggie said...

I can never sneak out! My windows have metal bars with no way out! LOL!

♥ Braja said...

Sprung. And you knew she was doing that because.......??? Yeah you got it: it's in the genes....

Not The Rockefellers said...

Busted!
Gotta agree with Braja
You knew because...Hmmm?
Well they don't lick it off the walls y'know! :)

Peace ~ Rene

roberta said...

lol...my son has tried a few on me...and i'd tell him...sorry dude...you cannot do anything that I haven't done, lied about, and even sometimes got away with...hubby on the other hand..was....how do i say this a nerd...lol...and believed everything that came out of that boy's mouth...while i stood snickering and just waiting for the lil angel to get caught...and boy did he get caught...so sorry kiddos...it will catch ya and bite you in the ass.....lol

publicknitting said...

You should put bars on her windows. As a former sneaker, and as someone who is still known to sneak boys over on holidays, she sounds like trouble.

Otter Thomas said...

That is one of the worst excuses ever. And this is reason #107 why we are digging a moat if we ever have a girl.

4thelove! said...

loved the story..I got caught more than I care to recall. I'm soooo prepared for what awaits...

Lisa @ This Mommy Works said...

I got caught sneeking out once at a friends house. Not a good thing! We went to pick up another friend (mind you, we were with a boy)... her dad came out with a gun! I got taken home by the cops at 1:30 AM. My mom was not happy and I got to know my house really well - was not allowed out for like a month! Oops!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

I am going to frame the line
"we do not accept apologies after midnight"
That was great! Happy SITS day!

~ Noelle said...

Stopping by from SITS...
That was too funny!