I'm making a HUGE batch of lemonade. You're all invited over.

It’s a good thing I’m not a detective….

So, after the Purple troll left a comment on my blog that did manage to rattle my cage, I spent the whole night chasing the person by a “location” that was suspiciously close to where Tightwad was working these past six months.

I emailed Suzy and Elise and Braja to tell them the troll was on THEIR blogs. I then followed her all over bloggyland, wondering why she was STALKING MY FRIENDS.

The Port Allegheny address? It was my own damn computer.

It seems I’ve been tracking myself for the last 24 hours.

And Purple? I want to thank you for giving me a great laugh this morning. I needed it.

(You guys are awesome. You talked me off the ledge, and Tightwad thanks you for keeping him alive.)


♥ Braja said...

Yeah thanks Purple, you uptight bitch....at least you came in useful for SOMETHING.....jesus Debbie I am STILL laughing at your detective work....I can't help it. Jahnu keeps asking me what I'm laughing at. Even he's laughing now.....holy crap....

WeaselMomma said...

I'll bring the vodka! You are too funny.

The Good Cook said...

LOLOLOL... and how many martinis did you have while doing all this tracking? Tell tightwad he is welcome.

Lori P said...

LOL! I needed a good laugh this morning. I did the same thing (not to that extent. yours is too funny) until I realized that you can take yourself off of your own sitemeter stats. :)

the mama bird diaries said...

Very funny. Well, at least you found yourself.

Vodka Logic said...

Great exercise? New Net workout..

Michele said...

Hahahahaha! That sounds like something I would do.

Julie D said...

I got some really beautiful martini glasses for Christmas, shall I bring them over?

I've been pretty lucky not to get any crass or rude comments in my almost two years of blogging.

I guess I haven't "arrived" yet. LOL

T said...

Too damn funny!

Boozy Tooth said...

Oh I do love a good conspiracy! Let me at her, VM. NOBODY messes with my Vodka or my Braja and lives to tell the tale.

Mike said...

So did you ever track Barney the douchebag dinosaur down??

Joanie said...

I did the same thing! I was thrilled to see someone from Lansdale, PA reading my blog. Then I realized it was me, blogging from Burger King in Lansdale, while I was having Whopper Wednesday with John! DUH Joan!

I've discovered my kid is reading my blog from Indiana, PA. shit. Now I can't talk about her like I want to.

Boozy Tooth said...

I had no idea SNARKY came in purple. I always hated purple. It's so LOUD, and garish, and goes with nothing. It's pretentious. It's show-offy. You know what I think of when I see purple? Ugly throbbing things... veins popping out of necks... hammer accidents... loose toenails.... a good upchuck after a bottle of Cabernet.

Yeah, that's what Purple is.

Real Live Lesbian said...

LMAO....you are so adorable!

(I've done the same thing, but let's keep that between us, mkai?)

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

So YOU are the mystery woman!

Kellyansapansa said...

So why did you leave such a nasty comment on your own blog? Oh wait, I get it.


Scope said...

Hint for novices:

When making lemonade for "vodka & lemonade" recude the amount of water used by the amount of vodka used. That way it won't tasted diluted.

Or, just toss s pinch of Crystal Light in a glass of vodka and call it good.

♥ Braja said...

Oh, and another thing? Purple is sooooooo last year....

(that was the sound of a dead purple hitting the floor....)

Sue said...

Damn, I'm just catching up on all the "stuff" now! It's a bitch to work too much and miss out on what's going on in the blog world. Some people are just mean and they suck and always will! I work with the public, I KNOW! You have such a good support system on your blog, that has to warm your heart. Have you ever tried "Happy Snapple". I love to mix Pink Lemonade Snapple & Vodka! Haven't had it in awhile, maybe I should make some for work today. You will be fine, you are strong!
Take care, Sue

Vodka Mom said...

It was a real comment, I just couldn't find who LEFT it. I was tracking myself, and not the real commenter. Wait, now I'm confused again.

IB said...

hahahahahahaha! good one. Only you, my dear, only you.

Anonymous said...

LOL..I just found this blog yesterday and I love it. I'm just like you..I chase my own tail alot...but you'll probably hear from her again.My husband is a computer networking pro so if ever you want to find her...

Suzy said...

I assumed you'd taken yourself off your sitemeter stats. So I BELIEVED you. Now I have to go check my stats to make sure you're not stalking me.

No wonder you drink.

Masala Chica said...

I am confused but it's early yet. I work in web analytics so I can probably figure out your conundrum if you ever really want to stake out purple.

no lemonade for me, thank you. Lemon is a fruit and one of my resolutions for this year is to be less healthy.

Expat mum said...

I had a bit of a nutter on my Pond Parleys blog that caused me to snap and behave very childishly. I swear it wasn't me but more than one person wondered if it was my own marketing strategy. Vodka Mom???......

The Muse said...


Sherlock Holmes is safe!

SkylersDad said...

Serious tracking skills girl! I see a future for you at NCIS...

Anonymous said...

I still hope you get to the bottom of who this person is and set things straight. There IS a way to find out, but maybe you should let Mrs. Lynch help you ;-)

shrink on the couch said...

Sounds like the lemonade could use a shot of vodka.

Rachel Cotterill said...

That's impressive detective work ;)

Kathy's Klothesline said...

So, you tracked yourself, huh? Good job! Surely withh all your followers you have someone out there who knows how to do this. Me, I would call my son, since he does this for a living...... I call him all the time, so much so that he told me that I should just open a port (whatever that is) on my computer so that he could just solve all my problems remotely. Now if he can walk me through that I will be golden-he keeps telling me he doesn't have time to walk me through.........

Brian Miller said...

nice. i love lemonade...so you chased the weasel back into its hole? did you set a fire?

justmakingourway said...

Part of me loves sitemeter - part of me doesn't bother to even look because I get all weirded out.

Some people just like to stir things up, honey. That's a low blow of a sucker punch, to be sure - but I'd say, let it go.


Joanna Jenkins said...

Hey Purple... Come out, come out wherever you are. Vodka Mom's posse would live you give you a good talking to.

Ash said...

Oh my word. Now that's just funny.

You chasing your tail that is, not that sniper Purple making a comment about your husband chasing tail.

I really have no idea what makes people want to drop a big ole dookie on a blog and then run. Chicken sh!ts.

Anonymous said...

inspector gadget you are not, lol.....I think at this point frget the lemons and go right for the vodka, allthought they do ave vodka with lemon added;)

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Yup, me too, just what I would've done!
Now I know who NOT to consult when I get a troll...

gretchen said...

Haha!! I do believe that now it's time for some revenge. Get thinking.

I'd love to know what the pseudonym "purple" refers to!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA!!! That was HILARIOUS!!! I've got an extra bottle of Vodka we never got into from New Years, slapping a bow on it and sending it your way!!

Dear Purple

Lee Ryan said...

Ha! Reminds me of time from a previous life on a submarine when, after hours of tracking a mysterious tonal in our baffles, it turns out to be an offending pump in our own engineroom.

Anonymous said...

I can't drink lemonade "straight"


Kim said...

Apparently, there's a lot of Vodka in that lemonade. I'm on my way!

Ladybird World Mother said...

Now that sounds just like something I would do!!!!! Wonderful stuff. Trust you, my friend, to laugh at yourself... loved this post. You have managed to erase the yuckiness of The Commenter. Nice one, my friend. xxxx

Glennis said...

Oh, I've done that too - I mean, mistaking myself on site-meter for a blog-fan!

Hope Purple is just a mean-minded flash in the pan. Vodka and lemonade? Mmm, thanks, I was hoping you'd offer.

@eloh said...

I just recently put one of those tracking counters on my blog... now I'm wishing I hadn't. I stress over it way to much and I haven't a clue how to actually use it... or if it is of any real use to begin with.

Obvisouly not, as I was about to worry about myself stalking me also.

S3XinthePantry said...

Ha! I guess this is the modern version of talking to yourself (or cloning yourself)

But, hey after all you've been through it makes sense to be super careful!

I ALWAYS stop at a lemonade stand!

anymommy said...

That is really funny. Mmmmmmm, lemonade.

Lawyer Mom said...

Wow. You are some Nancy Drew! Seriously, we've all chased our own tails a few times.

About that wretched Purple, though, I do hope you solve the mystery.

Mrs. E said...

I'll be right over for a lemon drop martini!! : )

April said...

Lemonade gives me heartburn... maybe we can just stick with the Vodka? ;-)

Malisa said...

Are you chasing tail again? I mean...chasing your own tail? :)

Unknown said...

What the hell? And I thought nothing exciting ever happened over the weekend in bloggyland?

Hope you've heard the last of the Purple perp.

Peace ~ Rene

Marinka said...

It's very The Call Is Coming From Inside the House!

Anonymous said...

I have NO idea how to track where people are reading from. How do I do that?

Trac~ said...

LOL that is too funny Vodka Mom - that sounds like something silly I would do! Ha! Glad to see I'm not alone and someone else has these kind of days too. Lemonade sounds great as long as there is Vodka to go along with it - ;o)

Cora said...

Well, never mind the detective skills. Being a teacher is soooooooooo much cooler anyway!!!!

I just want to know why purple calls herself purple. Under eye bags, maybe? Veiny legs? The frequent victim of purple nurpling? It KILLS me that we'll never know.

Anonymous said...

I hope purple will be vanished forever!

Leslie said...

You are my second bloggy friend attacked by losers this week. What's up with that stuff. (Not that other was attacked by the same person...her's was an "Anon".) How rude.

Melissa B. said...

Is this purple person Spam, or what? We could chop her into little pieces...dog food?

Anonymous said...

Gosh that's funny. Add some vodka to that lemonade!!

Meg said...

Maybe we need to have a little bit LESS vodka in the lemonade..otherwise we'll all end up tracking ourselves. And while comical, that would be tragic!

flutter said...

first rule of troll control : don't feed 'em.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I see I've been missing some stuff. I've just had a reas back through and WOW. Glad you got everyone watching your back...although somehow I don't think you need it! I hope you find and out her soon :))

Bano said...

Purple just has too much time and not enough vodka. ;) Keep blogging--I love reading!

Beth said...

Purple should probably be green since OBVIOUSLY she is jealous of you.

I'll bring the raspberry vodka! It makes lemonade taste amazing!

Carolyn...Online said...

The call is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Maybe you have a split personality secretly trying to get you to notice her by posting comments on your blog.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Oh boy does this sound like something I would do. I would make the worst detective ever.

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

Why is it that my reader never picks up your posts? I swear...

Anyway. You are such the techie, girl.

mo.stoneskin said...

Damn I've probably missed the lemonade. Next time could you text me in advance so that I could pop over and be first?

Unknown said...


Next time there's a murder mystery dinner theater I suggest you order extra dessert and relax.

Clearly you are a savant.

Gayle said...

I would drive myself insane trying to figure out who it was. I'm way to obsessive. Please, purple, leave me alone.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Now THAT is funny! And it sounds a lot like something that would happen to me.

Nishant said...

I'll bring the vodka! You are too funny.

Work from home India

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