My husband Steve and another little, tiny favor.

You know how I am OBSESSED with Stephen King? I’ve read all his books, have most of them in hardback, and will forever be indebted to my sister for finding this treasure at her local Goodwill. (They know her by name, by the way.)

I’m always flitting around bloggyland, dropping comments about how I am either Steve King’s wife, lover, or biggest fan, and comments along those lines. Remember? (Kathy Bates did a lovely job portraying me- although I am a bit funnier in real life.)

Here’s an email I received last night. Honestly, I laughed out LOUD after this one.

Vodkamom: I saw a comment you left on Kate's blog and assumed your husband is Stephen King. Forgive me if I have made the wrong assumption but if not I am reading - for the second time - his great book On Writing and wondered if I could quote what he says on page 326/327 on my blog …….

Um, well, I’m not REALLY his wife, and if Tabitha sees that she MIGHT get the wrong idea. However, this email was MUCH more fun to read than that other one, and I thank you, Mr. Jones.

It appears that another “contest” kind of thing occurring in bloggyville. I TRY to avoid situations that might bring out the worst in me, but what the heck. I am honored to be included with amazing writers and people, and am thankful that anyone notices me. (And, as I heard on the radio, I have kids- that means I have no pride.)

First, I want to THANK all of the people that I paid, bribed, and blackmailed into voting for me over at Blogg’er Choice. I am HONORED that out of all those blogs, I ended up an amazing THIRD PLACE. Holy Cow!

And now, for this “contest”, I ask only this. I don’t want you voting JUST because you’re related to me, or because you feel SORRY for me (you know, having to live with Bitchy and Sassy and Tightwad…) or because I might promise you untold riches, alcohol, money or treats.

I only want to encourage you to vote if you have enjoyed my writing.

Because, at the end of the day, THAT is why I am here. It’s all about the writing, and the fact that my brain, my heart and my soul insist that I keep doing it.

The ball’s in your court. You may return the serve, or move on. It’s all good either way.


tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

I love that she thought you were Stephen King's wife!! AWESOME. Wonder if you can get some of the residuals of his books...

w said...

well. i'm dating michael vartan. my husband doesn't know. so. don't say anything on my blog about it. or do. because actually, my hubby doesn't really read my blog.

Anonymous said...

Im having an affair with Jackie Collins..shhhhhh;)

jessica said...

just voted but did have to take some time to look for your name- it was like 167 but after my vote put you in the twelves you were up at 152. let people know where to find your name because i was confused at first (though that's not too hard to do!)

Suzy said...

What in the world would you do without me, Mrs. King?

WeaselMomma said...

That's flippin' awesome! I hope you keep that email in a special 'save forever' and print it out to sleep with under your pillow.

Michele said...

That Steven King stalking is really working out for you. If nothing else it's blog fodder.

Can I vote twice or are there pesky rules?

Brian Miller said...


i am his dark half.

Unspoken said...

Tabitha? is that you? Has that man of yours driven you to drink? Smiling!

Jan said...

If you had a chance to be Mrs. King, I'm afraid you'd have to arm wrestle me for it.


♥ Braja said...

You have to blatantly whore yourself out more than this. You're being way too nice.

Where's Suzy? We can fix this....

Anonymous said...

Are you in love with Stephen king, or you were just kidding...


Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Aw, you can write circles around Stephen King! He tells a great story but you move our hearts AND make us laugh. But maybe if you were Mrs. King, it'd be easier to get a book contract; the publishing world is tough these days, no?

Boozy Tooth said...

Run-on sentences aside... SK is pretty cool. If you want to be his faux wife, that's fine by me. No worries.

But I don't think I'd ever take you seriously. I mean... you're Vodka Mom.


Kate Coveny Hood said...

Of course I'll vote! For you - anything.

The Girl Next Door said...

I think as Stephen King's pseudo-wife you are entitled to certain rights. I will fight for you Vodka Mom My Hero! (and sorry I can't stomach his writing but you? are a Goddess...)

Robin said...

Hey i voted for ya the other day when I noticed your name up..even before I was asked..so I voted again...Yeeahhh..! Im a kinda new follower..Hello..!

mo.stoneskin said...

You've been paying people?

Where's my cheque?

Or if you like I can give you may paypal email?

Anonymous said...

Hey lady! 'Tis me again. I just have to say, reading your blog is like tea in the morning. I wouldn't start my day without it. Your sage (and hilarious) words are routine reading to me as catching up on the latest news on CNN online.

Just thought I'd put that out there, and thank you for bringing a bit of sunshine to all our lives.

Laura said...

How awesome that she thought you were really able top get her copyright permission!!
Well, I saw a "must listen" music list by your hubby in a fairly recent Entertainment Weekly...have you seen it?
I'll head over & vote for you...one of my morning's "must read's"!

CSY said...

I'll vote for you, no problem Mrs. King! Just don't send your hubby's evil IT clown after me! If you can have Stephen King, can I have Jeff Probst as my pseudo-hubs? Or how about Shemar Moore?

Kitchen Belleicious said...

I am laughing and possibly peeing on myself because i just found your blog and i think you are hilarious and oh so cute! Just started following you and gave you an award on my blog! Check it out!

seriously? said...

I will vote for you and I am not related to you...at least I don't think I am anyway. Love your blog!!! And I don't even expect any untold riches...but, I do expect alcohol... :)

North West London Girl said...

I have stumbled upon your blog, you know how one can get lost in the cyberblog world by clicking here and there, and then forgetting where it all started. I found this hilarious and will continue to check in on you...

Desert Songbird said...

Wait. Whoa. Back up. HOLD DE PHONE. You bribed me to vote for you; I did. Now you want me to vote again based purely on your writing quality (which I DID). But you're reneging on the BRIBE PART?! I don't think so, sistah. Youse betta pay up, or Imma send Guido and Bruno to your door. Got it?


Okay, and a visit from you to my blog once in a while wouldn't hurt, either.

*big cheesy grin*

Joanna Jenkins said...

I voted-- but-- I would have been vote #68. Only it still shows 67 votes. Did I miss something. I'll keep trying.


anymommy said...

That is awesome. I'm going to start leaving comments insinuating that I'm Brad Pitt's wife.

Anonymous said...

What a funny e-mail!! and of course you're nominated you rock!

Andrea's Sweet Life said...

I am an accidental Stephen King fan: in that, my best friend decided to up and move to New York City, the land of the tiny studio apartment, and left me her entire Stephen King collection.

So. If you have any of his books you are dying to have in hard back? Let me know. I probably have it. And if you don't tell me about it soon, it will most likely end up at Goodwill. But don't tell my best friend, she'd shoot me in the head, all the way from NYC.

JM said...

I hv nominated you!! Hope you win!!

Gayle said...

People need to get with it. After A LOT of looking I found you back down at 211, but brought you back to 191. Come on people. Raise up the Vodkamom!

(Ya, you own me).

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

You've got my vote!

Cora said...

Done and done. :-)

I'm so happy it worked for me today! Woohoo! When I tried to vote yesterday the page just would NOT load. I was beginning to wonder what horrible thing I'd done to break it....

As Cape Cod Turns said...

I voted because my day wouldn't be complete without you! Sappy, but true!

Meandering Mel said...

Hahaha, I'm in love with Dean Koontz. Your buddy Steve creeps me the F* out, so I stick with Dean. He's more mellow :)

Pat said...

I'm the idiot who thought Vodka Mom was Tabitha.

TC said...

I just found your blog (maybe I'm slow?) Your husband Stephen would be very proud of your writing. I am also his friend but don't think anyone has ever thought I was married to him? LOL

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