4/5/10

Are you sure about that? Totally sure???


A note to the friendly Dr. Allergist/Teenage Torturer (I couldn’t have done a better job myself):

I want to thank you for the tiny bit of uncomfortable-ness ( “THIS HURTS MORE THAN THE TATTOO!!!!!!!) that you put Sassy through this morning during her two and half hour allergy testing session. Frankly, she was a bit of a challenge this weekend, and she’s immune to any type of torture that her father and I try to inflict upon her.

While you tested her for everything under the sun (pollen;ragweed;trees;shrubs;grasses;perfumes;cosmetics;detergents;blah;blah;blah) you conveniently discovered that she was allergic to only ONE tiny thing.


Just one.


Dust mites.


Crap.


It couldn’t have been potatoes. It had to be something that requires me to CLEAN. (And that note on the pamphlet that says the person with the allergy should NOT participate in the cleaning? She noticed that RIGHT away.)


Are you, perhaps, in cahoots with Tightwad? Did he beg you to cause her skin to bubble and throb on only THAT section?


Well, that prescription I forced you to fill out insisting that Tightwad hire me a cleaning woman? He didn’t buy it.


But the joke’s on him.



She starts Monday.

44 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

hahaha I need to meet with an allergist. I suspect I'm allergic to dust too.

Jan said...

Oh, I only WISH I had that sort of an excuse. Beloved just isn't down with the whole "I effing HATE housework" thing, and insists I do it anyway.

The Boob Nazi said...

Also, does this mean I shouldn't have to clean my house and have to use a housecleaner?

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Seriously, did I read that correctly; you're getting a cleaning woman?? You are my hero!
I've been thinking of doing this so I'll have more time to blog, I mean write....
Isn't Everyone allergic to dust mites??

Gigi said...

So THAT'S how you score a house cleaner! Thanks for the tip - I'm off to work on my sneezing.

Steven Anthony said...

I had to go through allergy testing....seems like allot of work to get a maid...haha but whatever works, right;)

enjoy your dustmite free home;)

Snappy Di said...

If I let the dusting go so in hopes of Hubby getting me a house cleaner, he's just start tilling it to plant corn in it.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Titanium said...

That.IS.Awesome.

Getting a house cleaner almost makes the allergy worth it. :)

Grace's Mom said...

It never ends, does it?!

Cheryl said...

Didn't anyone read the fine print??? ^_^ I love the fine print. It's absolutely perfect! I have allergies to various types of pollen AND dust and dust mites.

Used to get nagged at to pulease blow my nose because I sniffled up a storm cleaning and just moving around in the house since I was a kid. Thank you dear allergist for shutting them all the hell up already yet! Amen.

Joanie M said...

Think the cleaning lady will come to my house when she's finished with yours each week? I live in Oregon too, ya know.

The Empress said...

Ha!

I'm coming here every day now b/c misery loves company.
Welcome to my world.

My children were diagnosed years ago, and I've been cleaning ever since.

No rest for you, woman...

We're talking weekly hot water laundering of all bed linens, allergy covers on the mattress and pillows. No draperies, no carpeting.

Oh, yes, the fun has just begun...

Momma Fargo said...

Love the cleaning lady. Hate the dust mites. Poor Sassy. At least it's fixable, right?

Vodka Logic said...

everyone is allergic to dust mites... just buy those mattress covers.

Congrats on the maid, if it is true. Can I borrow her after you?

xx

SkylersDad said...

On a serious note, immediately get her a new pillow. Those things are dust mite central!

Secretia said...

I think they always say it's dust mites, this way they keep you as a patient forever..

Brian Miller said...

lol. glad we are not allergic to dust...you know...

Michele said...

You DESERVE a cleaning person. I keep telling JR the same thing. Over and over again. Someday he'll believe me. Doesn't matter really since I make more money than he does.

Kim said...

OMG how funny!!! This happened to me too. The allergist told me my son was allergic to dust, and I think I flipped that doctor off in my head ;o)

Mellodee said...

At two different point in my my life, I had the money to afford a cleaning service. (Now isn't one of them.) Trust me when I say, it was the best my house EVER looked! When I lived in CA, I didn't want them to feel like I was micro-managing the, so I would sit outside on my patio and pay the bills and do other sorts of paperwork and then I would read until they were done.

My home was pretty again, the linens were changed, my bills were paid, and I had some "me" time. OOh, it was GRAND!!!

Wendy said...

Just give her a hammock to sleep in, and tell her to stay off the couch and the carpet.
She'll be moving out in a year or two anyway, right?
=-)

Notes from a Broad said...

"She starts Monday" ....

Brilliant !

Mrs. D said...

Maybe one day you can hire one. Tell him it's that or a super expensive air filtration ionizer thingy.

Boyd said...

Sassy is lucky - when I went to the allergist, I tested positive for everything!

Irish Gumbo said...

You were going to get that cleaning lady one way or another, weren't you?

Very good, grasshopper, you have done well :)

Dawn said...

I, too, think I am allergic to dust... but WHO would I complain too? and no one but ME would get to fork over the money for someone else to clean.
Lucky you! :)

phd in yogurtry said...

In that case, I'm allergic to mornings. Please write me an Rx for a 6-pack-ab personal trainer, get me going first thing.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Just make sure she sweeps under the beds!

(I'm jealous)

Captain Dumbass said...

Hmm? What can I be allergic to?

Frau said...

I'm allergic to cleaning and cooking....that only remedy is wine and lots of it! Hope Sassy like allergy meds cause it's impossible to totally rid of dust. Good Luck!

Jeff D'Antonio said...

Holy carp...if I was alergic to dust I'd be dead by now.

Sue said...

Haha, send the lady my way when she is done at your house. I, too, am allergic to dust mites. It hasn't made me clean more. I now do saline rinses, nasal spray and an allergy med. Much easier than cleaning my bedding twice a week!!!

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Brilliant!

The Pipster said...

I have been out of touch for awhile. Need to read about the tat that Sassy got. Missed your blog.

The Unbreakable Child said...

Yay on the maid. I think I, too, may have dust mites allergies. =)

jineen said...

ooohh maybe im allergic to dust mites....or maybe im jsut allergic to cleaning, either way send that cleaning lady this way when yuo are done using her...

WeaselMomma said...

Enjoy the cleaning lady!

FranticMommy said...

Cleaning woman? You're my hero!
Seriously, do they clean ovens? If not, I am looking for an new model of oven that FLUSHES. Heads up everyone. Give me a holla if you see one.....

Theta Mom said...

A cleaning lady? You ARE my hero. Please come talk to my husband!

And thanks for visiting Theta Mom. Clearly, you are a writer. ;)

Everyday Goddess said...

I like that, doctors orders requiring hiring housecleaners.

It's the new Mother's Little Helper.

Acting Balanced Mom said...

Congrats on the cleaning lady.. so jealous! stopping by from SITS...

vineyardroad.com said...

Dust mites, schmust mites... I'm allergic to cleaning. Congratulations on getting your 'personal cleaner'.
Now, go get that martini... you're good! ;-)

Suzy said...

Remind me to never rename people's blogs in my Google Reader again. BECAUSE I LOST YOU.

Crazy Charm said...

Ha! I had that test done. And you're right it is very unpleasant. However, all of my reaction sites swelled up. The doctor said, "Hmm I've never seen this before."My mom had been telling me it was in my head for years.

The vindication helped ease the pain. lol