A note to the friendly Dr. Allergist/Teenage Torturer (I couldn’t have done a better job myself):
I want to thank you for the tiny bit of uncomfortable-ness ( “THIS HURTS MORE THAN THE TATTOO!!!!!!!) that you put Sassy through this morning during her two and half hour allergy testing session. Frankly, she was a bit of a challenge this weekend, and she’s immune to any type of torture that her father and I try to inflict upon her.
While you tested her for everything under the sun (pollen;ragweed;trees;shrubs;grasses;perfumes;cosmetics;detergents;blah;blah;blah) you conveniently discovered that she was allergic to only ONE tiny thing.
It couldn’t have been potatoes. It had to be something that requires me to CLEAN. (And that note on the pamphlet that says the person with the allergy should NOT participate in the cleaning? She noticed that RIGHT away.)
Are you, perhaps, in cahoots with Tightwad? Did he beg you to cause her skin to bubble and throb on only THAT section?
Well, that prescription I forced you to fill out insisting that Tightwad hire me a cleaning woman? He didn’t buy it.
But the joke’s on him.
She starts Monday.