4/9/10

Pardon me, my irritation is showing.


I can’t be Suzy Sunshine every damn minute.

I’m irritated. There, I said it. I can’t put my finger on it, but suffice to say that I’ve gone from “down in the dumps” to just plain irritated.

I can’t blame it on PMS, or anything REMOTELY related to a womanly issue, because I had my uterus - and anything else that wasn’t nailed down - removed two summers ago. My family keeps reminding me that it was very traumatic for all parties involved (something about my incision coming completely apart and perhaps a bit of a problem with my hormone medication), but thanks to my horrible memory, I remember it like it was a lovely walk in the park.

I could perhaps blame it on the fact that I haven’t had any vodka for 34 days, but that might require a bit of explaining and frankly, I’m not ready for that post right yet.

I might POSSIBLY be undergoing a mid-life crisis, but that would require that I actually ADMIT that I’m old enough to have one. So that particular reason is CERTAINLY scratched off the list of possibilities.

Regardless of the reason, these are the BIG things that have irritated me as of late.

1. The 90 year-old woman who I watched drive through THREE RED lights as I attempted to tail her and “tattle-tale” to any relative that might listen. I lost her because I WAS FOLLOWING THE TRAFFIC LAWS. Jesus, where are her children? Her neighbors? Can’t ANYONE take her keys? I’ve got teens driving in this town (and a billion others I’ve taught in the last 100 years) and I value their lives. (I hereby give any one of you permission to confiscate my keys when I turn “too old”.


2. Alicia Keys – She is looking for someone to blog FOR her; FOR HER. She feels she has a voice that no one else has. There are only five trillion blogs out there- and NOT ONE expresses her point of view. Huh.


3. Duke.


Well, that’s probably it. I thought perhaps there were more, but I’m beginning to feel sorry for Alicia’s mother, and hope that she doesn‘t read this blog. However, with all the thousands she’s probably reading to be sure her daughter’s voice isn’t already being used, I bet she’s quite busy.







40 comments:

Everyday Goddess said...

I have the same kind of memory. We are twins after all.

Maybe Alicia can hire someone to sing for her too while she's at it. I could swear I've heard that voice before. And then I turned it off.

Lori said...

Duke? Really?

Vodka Mom said...

Do they HAVE to win all the time? Couldn't they just ONCE let someone else win?

WeaselMomma said...

Just think, only 9 weeks or so until the end of the school year! That will cheer life up a bit. You'll even get bitchy back home =)

Joanie M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joanie M said...

That was me who deleted a post. I didn't realize who or what Duke was.

How about Ativan? Will that work for ya?

Mrs. D said...

Would it make you feel better if you knew we all loved you? :-) I hope your weekend cheers you up.

Cheryl said...

Nice going on the 34 days vodka-free! Day at a time and they ain't all Susie Sunshine days.

Did you get that Q-tip's plate number? Please tell me you did, Starsky.

mo.stoneskin said...

If you were on my street I'd drop by on my way to work and leave some beers and chocolates on the doorstep.

I'm a big fan of key-confiscation for the old.

Listen, sometimes when I walk in the park I suddenly feel like I'm having my (non-existent) uterus removed. Any chance our consciousnesses have somehow (inexplicably) got mixed up?

Winna said...

*Ahem, Duke hasn't won the tournament since 2001. So, 8 other teams have won it besides them. BTW - Butler made it further than Duke in the tourney a couple of those years. Don't hate! haha. Sorry. I love your site and you, but Duke is my favorite team! I have to defend them!

Sue said...

I'm pretty sure I sing like Alicia Keys, so I could probably blog her voice.

Yeah, I am laughing at myself right now.

Sorry you are down in the dumps. How about a lovely seaside vacation?

The Boob Nazi said...

I didn't know Alicia Keys was doing that... That makes me laugh just a little.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Hey, you don't need any excuse to feel irritated. It happens. And besides, Suzy Sunshine is SO overrated (I hear she's really a boring bitch behind closed doors...).

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

After reading about the red light Grandma, now I'm irritated!!

Cristie Ritz King said...

Duke.
I love that. Not sure that makes you feel any better, but I just had to share my like-minded irritation.
Hilarious.

Andrea said...

if someone took my lady parts I'd probably be irritated for the better part of a decade.

Rant on!

Anne said...

I see your vodka-free count... which could be a very good thing, but I'm thinking a bit depressing too... SO, why not look at a countdown that can bring nothing but happiness... That would be the SUMMER VACATION countdown. My 'student contact' number looks like 37! Sweet.

Notes from a Broad said...

For some reason, I think whether you have all of your working parts or not, PMS is a fact of every womans life and I don't think it ends ... ever.

We lived in Florida for a year. Apologies to any drivers out there in Florida who actually do know how to drive, but I was backed into and actually pushed by an elderly lady, with her elderly girlfriend next to her in a Cadillac in a parking lot... she said she did not see me.

I can understand that .. I was behind her in that black car that was behind one of her fins.
I know everyone thinks that when they are backing up their car , the sound of a car horn goes off, non-stop.

Regarding the Vodka thing... mine isn't Vodka but I kinda know what you mean ....

The only thing I know how to do when I am "irritated" is to go do something that I really like to do, to hell with everyone else...

You can always run away to South America !

The Pipster said...

OK, I missed something about the vodka. Oh well, I'll drink double for you. Big old pineapple martini - double tonight, my friend.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Vodka Mom is a babe
How do we know?
Because she makes us laugh out loud
And cos we love her so.

Better yet?! xx

only a movie said...

xoxoxo
I'm sorry you're having a tough time. We're all entitled to it. Plus, this is a tough time of year for teachers - we are all stretched a bit thin...
Hang in there.

slow panic said...

i've been in an unnameable cranky slump for a week. my family is enjoying it immensely. i am not.

hope you feel better soon.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Alicia Keys? WTF?

Sprite's Keeper said...

Alicia Keys? WTF?

Alan Burnett said...

I've not been around for ages and I have missed your unique brand of undefinable things. So I have added you to my blogroll so beware, I'll be back.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Don't get me started on the old drivers. sometimes I'd like to play demolition derby with them. as far as Duke, I think it gets really boring when one team wins all the time and I'm from their home state.

Snappy Di said...

Alicia Keys.... BLEH! Blog FOR HER! What an ego.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Coffee with Cathy said...

But you are our voice in the blogosphere, so carry on -- cranky and everything.

Sue said...

Sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do! Cheers, bottoms up! I'm sure you will feel much better very soon!
Take care, Sue

SkylersDad said...

i believe that once you reach, oh, 70 lets say, you must do a yearly driving test complete with actual driving with an instructor.

Locally we had a women turn left across an intersection, through a red light, so wide she ran over the bus bench. She only stopped trying to drive because as the car sat there high centered a cop tapped on her window and told her to shut the car off.

Elenka said...

Love how you go from confiscating your KEYS to Alicia KEYS. I was expecting Alicia to have a Duke connection.

Steven Anthony said...

I so understand, I actually was just saying today that I couldnt pretend to be happy all the time....so tonight it is me and cheesecake martinis...recipe on my man dish blog;)

Anna See said...

i wouldn't want to hang out w/ you if you were little susie sunshine all the time.

duke annoys me, too. first of all, i went to wake forest. secondly, my fam. is from w.v.

btw: my mom continued to be irritable and hormonal even after all her womanly goods were removed. i remember sitting in the car w/ her as she cried, "i'm sorry i'm so irritable, kids: i think if i still had a uterus, i'd be having my period right now."

Suzy said...

When I first gave up drinking I had a doctor's appointment in Beverly Hills. That part of town is not friendly to people who want to park. I finally found a spot and asked someone where the dr.s office was.

The guy pointed all the way down one street and said "You're in the wrong part of Beverly Hills." And I BLEW UP. (not at him) I walked ALL THE WAY BACK TO MY CAR and called the doctor and canceled the appointment. I was still seething.

All of a sudden I realized that I never got angry. EVER. And here I was, sober and angry. WTF?

I called the rehab and demanded to know where all this rage had come from.

The guy answered, "It came from you when stopped covering it up with alcohol."

Oh.

I still have trouble with anger but at least now I know it.

Kara said...

I hate Duke too.

Michelle said...

Looks like I missed quite a bit while I was in computerless hell. I love the new look and your blog always, grumpy or no ;)

Michele said...

DON'T let the kids decide when you are "too old" because that will be tomorrow.

Minivan Mom said...

I hate Duke.

And I'm thinking of you. I'm out here, trying to get through, too. Hugs.

Brian Miller said...

yeah. duke sucks.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Hey pretty lady, don't know your reasons for not drinking, but I also haven't had any vodka for almost 6 months now. The crankiness does come and go, along with a lot of other crap. I didn't start feeling "normal" again until after 100 days. If that sounds like what you're going through, feel free to email me, I've got a book I'd like to recommend. xoxo