4/5/11

Some years, you just can't be out of the classroom. This is one of those years.


Dear best nurse in the whole wide world who will probably get flowers from me real soon:


First, I want to apologize for being out of the building today. I had a very important training session that I could NOT get out of. Believe me, I tried. (Well. Maybe not.) After sending letters of apology to five different subs this year, I RELUCTANTLY agreed to attend this session against my better judgment. (It appears I have never, really, had good judgment.)

I want to thank you, however, for emailing me at 8:45 this morning to inform me that one of my star offenders had “accidently” bitten one of his classmates while disagreeing over who grabbed the “Go Dog Go” book first.


Apparently that was the best part of the day.


According to the copious notes left by a substitute who might never come to our school again, there were many children who felt the need to visit your office. And when I say many, I mean every single one of them.


It MIGHT have been because I pretty much never EVER let them go. And what I mean is, after teaching kindergarten for a thousand years, I have learned a few things.


I don’t let them go to the nurse if they see a friend go; if they show me a cut from the night before; if they have a tooth that they SAY hurts but is located in the roof of their mouth; if they think they have a fever but say it with a smile; if they say their tummy hurts RIGHT before snack; or if they have an important event after school that has them so excited that they don’t realize it’s butterflies in their stomach and NOT the “bomit” stuff.


So now that you’ve been properly introduced to almost EVERYONE in my class, I want to assure you that you PROBABLY won't see most of them again.





Until my next teacher training day. (Of course.)



23 comments:

Leah @ Beyer Beware said...

LOL! You just made me feel real sorry for my son's kindergarten teacher! I hope you had a great training.

Captain Dumbass said...

Well, it was Go Dog Go.

NewYawkMom said...

I'm laughing at the poor substitute. Such a cute story, but I think you need to bring her a giant mug off coffee before the next time you are out.

J.J. in L.A. said...

It gets better. In 3th grade, someone told our substitute teacher that he 'had to go, right now'. She said recess was only 15 minutes away and he could wait.

He said, "Okay" and proceeded to pee in his pants. lol!

Cheryl D. said...

That sounds like a bad day alright! The poor sub!

A few weeks ago, I picked my daughter up from school. She looked awful! When I asked her what was wrong, she said she wasn't feeling well! She was running 103 degree fever and had strep throat! I asked her why she just didn't tell her teacher, and she said she did, her teacher told her to be sure to tell me when I picked her up! When I asked the teacher about it, she said my daughter was smiling and happy at the time. Also, my daughter has autism, but was really "on" when she told the teacher she wasn't feeling well! Yikes!

I told her to be more insistent in the future! LOL

noexcuses said...

Some of it continues on to middle school...except maybe not the biting. I love your stories!

Vodka Mom said...

and I should go on record as saying I ALWAYS feel the heads first. If they have a SMIGE of a temp - I send them.


For sure. I am a mom, after all. xoxoxoxo

Brian Miller said...

that is why you should never read dog books...stick to dragon books that way they just breath on each other like fire...

Jill said...

You sound like my daughter's teacher ... and with all the drama that already happens with those young kids ... I TOTALLY appreciate it.

Dawn said...

Are you SURE you aren't teaching my third grade class??? lol

The nurse also knows when I'm gone(lol.) My rule is... If you aren't bleeding profusely or puking, you're fine. (Of course I feel heads for fevers too, but overall, they don't get past to the nurse)

And yes, I teach them what 'profusely' means... expanding their vocabulary any way I can ;)

Queen Mahin said...

Nodding my head over here. I'm not sure how well this goes over at her school, but my daughter consistently pulls the "I don't feel good" routine right before bedtime, right after she's spent the evening bouncing off the walls.

Cora said...

Ahhhh, I remember being in the nurse's office with my friends in 4th grade because we all had loose teeth! That was one of the best days ever! We felt so important.

That poor substitute and nurse.

*snicker*

Assistant ZooKeeper said...

Patrick talked and he sounded like Eeyore... "Mrs. Coburn," he'd say. "I don't fink I feel so good. I got blood." "Patrick!" I'd reply, a little alarmed. "You certainly do NOT feel well! And you do have blood!" Little Angel (who's Mommy *swears* she doesn't do that at home) had bitten the FOOL out of Patrick's finger. Over a ZooBook about elephants. And drawn blood.

Now What is THAT about? ooo Kindergarteners. I love you.

Cheers, VodkaMom!

Lili said...

Oh yes. I do understand lololol. You may also want to give the janitor a hug.I'm sure the kids were especially "artistic" :)

Gigi said...

Well, to be honest, I admit to wanting to "accidentally" bite someone who's had a book I wanted......

Jules said...

I'm having a year like that too. However, at this point, I'm going to ALL of the training sessions I can!

only a movie said...

Definitely one of those years... taking a mental health day tomorrow, here. Hope the sub survives...

Lynn MacDonald said...

hahaha...it sounds like the minute you leave that place the patients take over the asylum!

hahaha

Joanna Jenkins said...

Ha! Your kids really gave the sub a run for her money-- and the nurse too. Oy.
xo jj

jessica said...

annoying when the people trying to fill in for you have to update you about every little thing (husbands, substitute teachers, etc...)
i'd take it as a pat on the back that you can handle a group of kids that apparently no one else can.

angie said...

I know the feeling. Last time I was out the sub called me on my cell phone so I could "talk" to one of my kiddos.

Julie said...

Catching up on my blog reading! Come see my new blog layout when you have time! :)

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

:) She earned her money that day!