You were probably getting ready to serve me CHEESE with my whine.

My sister kicks butt.

I speak to her almost every day. She is a part of my heart and soul, and I need to hear her voice almost as much as I need to breathe.

But mostly? She kicks my ass. (Sure, it might not be that big a target anymore, but she finds the bullseye every time.)

She called the other day when I was wallowing in my sorrows. (Note to everyone- don't cry to someone who has walked a MUCH HARDER ROAD than you. They have no pity.) I MIGHT have started to cry as I outlined what I felt was an insurmountable hurdle.

"Are you crying??" she asked. "Stop your crying RIGHT NOW!! You have come too far to let this little thing stand in your way. Are you kidding? This is nothing," she said.

She's right.

I'm a whining wimp.

I sat on my porch after our discussion, and looked out over the incredible landscape and I realized something.

I am incredibly lucky.

I have an amazing home. Sure, the basement fills with water; it's inhabited by a few hundred mice; the wallpaper might be 50 years-old and Sassy swears it's haunted, but I am in love with it. It has wrapped me in its arms and made me feel safer than I have felt in a long, long time.

I have fabulous kids. They fight; they leave crap all over the house; they ignore my to-do lists; they eat food (for God's sake); they talk back and they make me feel human again. They are a drug I can't ever get enough of- as painful as they may be, they are also the best thing that ever happened to me.

I am on a journey that has no clear course- but I'm ready.

And to my sister? I thank you.

I thank you for supporting me, for loving me, for laughing with me, for reminding me of what is right, and for kicking my ass.

Even if it IS a size 8.


Anonymous said...

Right on!

PS: Size 8! Whine, whine whine! :P
You be damn proud of that 8!!!
Some of us gained 85lbs while pregnant for some bizarre reason and would LOVELOVELOVE to be an 8 again *cough cough size 14*

Vodka Mom said...

I've lost 25 pounds on the divorce diet.

Not sure if I recommend it. I DO if you CHOOSE it. But having no appetite is a bit painful.


Sharyn said...

I like your sister. You are so lucky to have a sister like her, and I admire the way you can step back and acknowledge it.

About weight loss: I call it the Depression Diet and it works wonders, yet I marvel at people who compliment extravagantly and then give a "Whatever It Takes" shrug when I explain that I've lost weight because I'm too unhappy to eat. When I feel that down I always treat myself to something rich or expensive; I figure it's okay as long as I'm eating something.

Scope said...

You need to take up playing baseball. We all know there's no crying in baseball.

Lynn MacDonald said...

Yeah! Your sister knows from whence she comes,,,,you'll be ok! I know it!

Fragrant Liar said...

I have a sister like that. She is my touchstone when I need grounding. She is my ass kicker when I need to be pulled out of my own self-pity. And she's my biggest, best advocate for anything I want in life. I'm glad you have such a good friend too. And that, despite how you did it, you're now a size 8. Bravo!

Suzy said...

When people cry, NO ONE should tell them to stop. Feelings are never wrong.

One day you won't need to cry anymore.

When someone tells you to stop crying it just makes you avoid them if you need to cry again one day. Not good.

Lili said...

Size 10 here :) Sisters rock but do give yourself a bit of time to howl at the moon. It's cathartic.

Mellodee said...

We all follow different roads, with different potholes and obstacles. And everyone's road feels awful sometimes. Someone on a different road, cannot know exactly how your road feels anymore than you know theirs exactly. Still the pain we all encounter along the way hurts, just in different ways. Pain is pain, whether it's a broken bone or a broken heart. Your sister's loss was horrible, but that doesn't mean your loss was insignificant. Cry when you need to, if your pain hurts enough to bring you to tears, then those tears can often help wash away some of the pain, at least for a little while.

Your sister loves you and is in your corner, but she's just not traveling your road.

So. Cal. Gal said...

A good ass-kicking can put things into perspective...

A friend whined about ankle pain after surgery. When I refused to sympathize, he said, "You don't know what it's like not being able to walk!" After a long pause, he said, "OMG! Did I just say that!"

I had been in the wheelchair for 6 months at the time. 17 years later, I can still make him feel guilty. ; )

Kerry Ann @Vinobaby's Voice said...

Can you rent your sister out for motivational speeches and philosophical ass-kickings? Makes me wish I wasn't an only child. You are lucky to have each other.


262mom said...

Aren't sisters great!!!!!!

I love mine too. There should be a sister's day!

My sister is a majorFbad@ss!!!!!!

Glad she is there to cast her size 8 shadow over you ")


ChiTown Girl said...

Hmmm...I wish I could relate to the Divorce Diet. My sister did the same thing when she was going through her divorce, getting down to a size 00 (and some of those were loose on her!) which was actually really scary for the rest of us. I, on the other hand, am the quintessential 'stress eater' and probably gained about 60 pounds when I was newly single. :(

I'm really glad your sister is there to kick your skinny ass. :)

SkylersDad said...

sending you my best hugs from afar!

Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Way to go Sister!We all need some ass kicking sometimes.

word verification: Suckspip

Sharon Rose said...

We are blessed with great sisters, aren't we? They know us best and would do anything in the world for us... including kicking our butts.

Sending you hugs,

Anonymous said...

A little perspective does it, doesn't it?

Hope the yard sale went well!! xoxo

Mrs4444 said...

Every time I bitch to my friend Molly about something, I curse myself; she, too, lost a son and knows the depths of hell. She's like a sister to me. I'm glad you have yours :)

shrink on the couch said...

Sisters are nothing short of awesomness. I really would be lost without mine.