There's a LONG list of what we can't do. (aka there is no kissing in kindergarten)

Do you remember your first kiss?  I don’t mean the one on the playground behind the jungle gym, I mean the FIRST KISS.  Mine was in 7th grade.  

I had a crush on my best friend’s brother, who was in 8th grade. This kiss had been planned all week, with representatives from both of our camps. That Friday night we sat together at a Smithtown high school football game.  During halftime the majorettes always had the stadium blacked out as they twirled their lighted batons to the oohs and ahhs of the hometown crowd.  It was a long-standing tradition, and one that adolescent boys and girls looked forward to every week!  Well, the moment came, and the lights went out and then it happened.   It wasn’t quite what I had expected.  There were no fireworks, the earth didn’t shake, and those braces we were wearing really DID prove to be inconvenient, and dangerous.

This memory came to mind yesterday in kindergarten when I overheard one of my little girls, Janie, explaining to one of our little boys exactly how kissing worked.   “Well, first you put your lips together, and then you put your tongues…” 

“WAIT!” I shouted, before she could get any further.  “In kindergarten we do NOT talk about kissing.  Class, I think it’s time we talk AGAIN about all of the things we can and cannot do now that we are in “big kid” school. “  I stood at the board and began to list all of the suggestions the children had for what never do in school! 

We don’t give free massages during read-aloud.
We don’t tickle other people.
We don’t put our hands in our pants or anyone else’s pants.
We don’t walk on the tables.
We do not poop in our pants, cause that’s digustin’.
We do not use potty words because they’re not propriate (We don’t even say pooh-pooh and we only say “p” when we are talking about the letter.)
We do not walk backwards.
We don’t get married in kindergarten.
We do not punch each other in the head because your eyeball might pop out and bleed and that would be digusting.
We do not pick our noses in school, only at home.

As I tried to squeeze all of these fabulous ideas onto the board, my little friend Janie piped up from behind me.

“Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Smith!!  WHY are you writing on the board, when you KNOW we can’t read?"

She certainly had a point.  I wondered quickly if I should tell her that watching me write left to right would show her how sentences flow; that each time I write a word I sound it out for her; that each time I put a space between a word and use proper punctuation that she is learning.  I knew there would be plenty of time for this information.  So, I just replied, “Cause it’s fun, Janie.  It’s just plain fun.”

Can we help our new little friends learn the rules? Can we teach them to be good friends, follow the rules, and that they should NOT be kissing in kindergarten?  Well, like the little engine we’ve all read about, I don’t just think we can.  I know we can.

 (I know this is a re-post, and I apologize.  I can't seem to lift myself out of this sad place in which I find myself these days.  While I know there are others who are hurting far more than I,  missing Golden Boy is crippling me.  I will fight to the death to bring him back to me.  Carry on.)


MaryBeth said...

Wait for it...

Like in the comedy world we have to wait through some of those stages.

I know there are other things going on, but boys go through this - I don't need *her* - time in their lives.

I believe with all my heart, and the love of my 4 sons, that he will come back.

Do we still do all we can to win them back? You bet! He has no idea what he is missing!

Praying for you mommy heart!

Ingrid said...

Sending some prayers and love your way.

MANDI said...

Re-post away - I know I love reading any and all of your posts. Sending hugs to help ease your hurt, just a little bit.

Leslie said...

Wha? I missed something.... (although loved this story).

Des said...

I understand your pain, my little guy lives with his PIA father. I Everyone has their own battle and you have definitly helped me smile when all i want to do is cry!!! Thank you.

Rick Daley said...

I have a really short attention span, so this was fresh and new to me ;-)

Sue said...

My granddaughter Riley, who is now in kindergarden, had her first kissing episode in the beginning of the year. A little boy kissed her on the cheek, then said they were boyfriend and girlfriend. My daughter flipped out. I told her they are just little kids but she did talk to Riley's teacher. I absolutely LOVE Riley's teacher. She is awesome! I think of you often when I pick Riley up at the big "K"!

Take care, Sue

thebauer4 said...

re-post or not, still love it!! Prayers for you and your heart.

Brian Miller said...

shivers...boundaries, boundaries, boundaries....scary world in which we live on boundaries and kids are learning way too much at a younger age....


LegalMist said...

Awesome post, and I missed it the first time, so it was new to me. :)

Hang in there, and good luck with Golden Boy. It is so hard ... but you are strong and beautiful and smart and a good and loving mother, so I just know it will be ok in the end.

Mellodee said...

I was going to leave some snarky comment about the male of the species, but I'd better just say I hope your son is home to you soon. Hugs!


Gigi said...

I'm with Leslie - I think I missed something....

Great post, I must have missed it the first time around too.

Fabulous, I just admitted, OUT LOUD, that apparently I'm an oblivious person....

Whatever is going on; know that my thoughts & prayers are with you.

MondoMOM said...

Sending thoughts & prayers your way.

Scope said...

I think you need to amend the "nose picking" one to include "or other people's" in there, too.

And I think the best way to bring Golden Boy back is to just be consistent, and be your wonderful, loving self.

And have his sisters do your dirty work for you. ;-)

SkylersDad said...

I'm a bit disappointed I can't attend your school, because I do 5 of those things...


Sounds like you need some help on the parent divorcing/kids in the middle line...willing to help/listen/ or help you get help...divorce is ugly for women and children become the pawns.......I am here if you'd like some sort of help

Joanie said...

still funny, event he second time around!

Cora said...

When I taught the Kindergarten class at daycare I had to have a sign up on the wall reminding the kids not to call each other "mudblood" like in Harry Potter. Nothing caused as many tears as being called a mudblood, oddly. Five year olds are funny little creatures, aren't they?

I'm sending positive power vibes your way regarding Golden Boy. Fight! WIN!!

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