11/19/12

Vodkamom’s “Is your new man a prince?” survey. (Toads, beware.)




Ten sure fire questions to determine if you’re hanging out with a prince or a toad. (Ladies, there’s still time before the holidays to dump the toad and shop for the prince.  Just keep in mind, mine is TAKEN.)


If you were to fall on a mountain and completely shatter your hip socket, would your man…

a.)   Convince you that you were fine, and allow you to drag the garbage cans to the road yourself.
b.)    Find numerous excuses as to why he can’t see you, and yet spend every waking moment going to hot spots with his friends.
c.)   Buy you a cane, wait on you hand and foot and convince you that you should not be in so much pain and that you need a second opinion.


If you were to get a second opinion and be told that you require not only total hip replacement but six weeks of recuperation, would your man…

a.)   Run the other direction like a bat out of hell.
b.)    Find numerous excuses as to why he can’t see you, and yet spend every waking moment going to hot spots with his friends.
c.)   Arrange his schedule to not only take you to the hospital, but spend each evening there holding your hand while you sleep.


If you have a total hip replacement and are sent home for six weeks of convalescing, would your man…

a.)   Run the other direction like a bat out of hell.
b.)    Find numerous excuses as to why he can’t see you, and yet spend every waking moment going to hot spots with his friends.
c.)   Buy you the most incredible gift ever; an adorable, raised, padded toilet seat.


If during your six weeks of convalescing you also have to move from a three bedroom, three story home into a one story duplex, would your man…

a.)   Run the other direction like a bat out of hell.
b.)    Find numerous excuses as to why he can’t see you, and yet spend every waking moment going to hot spots with his friends.
c.)   Spend his free time helping you pack, buying you boxes and making thousands of trips up and down steps transporting said boxes to said duplex.


If you were to go completely insane and get incredibly depressed while under “house arrest” and undergoing another stressful move would your man…

a.)   Run the other direction like a bat out of hell.
b.)    Find numerous excuses as to why he can’t see you, and yet spend every waking moment going to hot spots with his friends.
c.)   Hold your hand, make you laugh, take you to dinner and make sure that your heart and mind were at ease.



If you were to fall on a mountain and completely shatter your hip socket, have to move to another house and also try to appease, comfort, take care of your two outspoken, spirited, strong-willed  daughters, would your man….

a.)   Run the other direction like a bat out of hell.
b.)    Find ways to avoid being around you when said daughters are home.
c.)   Engage in thoughtful conversations with said daughters, make them laugh and show them how a man with integrity and a high moral code is supposed to carry himself. 



But the last true test?  Look into his eyes and listen to his soul.  If he's the one, it sing a song that only you can hear…and it will be one that you will want to dance to every single minute of the day.


The best part?  That song is the real fountain of youth; it will make you feel 16 again.  (And it feels damn good.)









(And nothing says I love you quite like a padded toilet seat.)






15 comments:

Brian Miller said...

smiles....glad you found your prince...he sets the bar high...might need to check my crown for tarnish...smiles.

Anonymous said...

yeah really, setting that bar awfully high!! how can i get me a prince like that??? I seriously didnt think there were any left. I have given up....but so glad yours came along at the perfect time when you needed one!!

I too just recently (sort of) gotten divorced (cheating husband) and am back in the dating pool at the ripe ole age of 51 and it sucks. period. Tried all the dating sites and nothing, nada, zip. But your blog as given me a shimmer of hope! i love your blog, been reading it for quite some time now and wish you had been my son's teacher!! He is 20, out of high school but had the god awful teachers in high school. Grade school was good, but does something happen to teachers when they teach teenagers?
anyway, so glad to hear about your happiness (but not your moving).

keep up the great writing!
a big fan
Jill from upstate NY

Vodka Mom said...

Brian- sometimes we all need reminders...right? (Although I'm sure you're a prince ALL the time.)

And Jill, don't give up! Just remember to look into the eyes, and give people a chance. I am so glad that I judged him FIRST on what was inside his heart, and then fell in love with all of the rest as well. :-)

ChiTown Girl said...

**swoon**

This makes me SO happy. You deserve Mr. Darcy, and don't EVER forget it!!

Anonymous said...

I am just so insanely jealous!! but am happy for you too!!

I do try to overlook stuff and get a sense of their "soul" but when they dont even give me a second chance then it is hard!!

cant wait to hear more stories! and does he know he is very popular now?? hee hee

Jill from upstate NY

Anonymous said...

The toilet seat made me laugh. My prince did something similar. I was having issues and he bought me a padded toilet seat.

I'm keeping my prince.

Karen in S.E. Texas

Japolina said...

My sweetie pie is like this. I remember how lucky that I am just about every day. I'm always amazed at how many of the amazing women that I know are not married to men like this. I'm also amazed that they do not try to steal my man! So happy for you! Happy Thanksgiving. xoxo Japolina

Gigi said...

Yes, you have definitely found yourself a prince! I'm so happy for you!

SkylersDad said...

I am so glad you found this wonderful guy! On a side note, I met a lady who was at the dog park a while back that confided in me she was there looking for a guy. She said she could tell a lot about how he treated his dog how he was going to treat his lady.

I thought, smart lady right there...

Marissa said...

VM,
Soooo glad Mr Darcy is not running like a bat out of hell. If I remember correctly, your daughters pushed you to get yourself back out on the market. If that's right, make sure you thank them sometime soon :-)

#1Nana said...

Gee, if I weren't already married, I'd be working on breaking my hip!

So. Cal. Gal said...

Padded toilet seats (while convalescing) are awesome! And so is Mr. Darcy!!! He's a keeper!

My guy says he's the reason I haven't had surgery in 12 years (even though we've only been together 9 years). But I know if I did have surgery, he'd be there, demanding more pain meds because I winced one time. ; )

Mexmom said...

You are very lucky to have your prince!

only a movie said...

So happy to read that he showed up. He was lined up for you all along, it just took a while for you to meet.

Hang in there in the recovery process and I know the move will be fine. Stressful, but fine.

xoxoxo

Joanie said...

I'm concerned that your list of TEN doesn't match up to the actual number of TEN.

Everything else sounds perfect!