So we meet again. I was hoping we wouldn’t, but after realizing that I had some time left on an old subscription, here we are; back together. This time, however, after more than many emails and wink alerts, I’d like to take a minute to qualify things even further. (And while I’m incredibly flattered by any attention, there comes a time when one has to be clear about one’s expectations.)
If you wear camouflage in each and every one of your photos, please don’t contact me.
If you misspell every other word in your profile and simply avoid punctuation altogether, please don’t contact me. (Apparently you missed the part in my profile that said I was a t.e.a.c.h.e.r.)
If you’re a conservative Scorpio, don’t contact me. That’s kind of my kryptonite. (I’m a teacher, democrat and a liberal. Never the twain shall meet.)
If you enjoy camping in the woods with a real tent, no showers and no room service, I’m definitely not your girl.
If you don’t enjoy the sun, the beach or being outside, I’m probably not for you.
If you don’t have a job and have collected unemployment for lengthy amounts of time in your life, please don’t contact me.
If you’re twenty-something and you contact me you can be sure I’ll delete the email. (Oh my Lord, there is something seriously creepy about a 28 year-old man who emails a 53 year-old woman. For realz.)
While I would certainly hope to find a prince charming - someone to take the rest of this journey with, this princess is perfectly content with the fact that she might have to rule this kingdom all by herself.
And that prospect is beginning to look and feel not so bad after all.