The New and Improved Let’s be Honest Profile on Plenty of Sardines

     

     

 I’ve decided to bag the seven paragraphs on the Plenty of Sardines dating site trying to outline why I am awesome and an incredible catch.  I've decided to go with this instead:

I’m a 54-year old slightly used woman.  I have three crazy children who milk me out of every penny I have, and frankly find money in places I didn’t even think to look.  They may or may not be rude to you depending on whether they are STILL living here, PMS-ing, worrying about shoes, being selfish or fighting with their boyfriends.  Sure they can be awesome, but they’re also normal like everyone else out there.  

I have gained BACK some of the baby weight I fought so valiantly to lose, have a new hip and horrible knees that barely work.  If I put on enough make-up the wrinkles on my face are barely visible, but the wrinkles on the rest of my body are way too hard to disguise.  Oh, and that little pouch and large scar across my abdomen was a gift after three sections and a botched hysterectomy. (It’s just a little bonus.) 

I have a great job teaching six-year olds, but that means I’m a little cranky and usually have a headache from about 3:00 – 6:00.  My salary could provide a decent living if I wasn’t still supporting TWO households and trying to pay off a very expensive lawyer. (Some day I might even be officially  DIVORCED.)

All in all I am just looking for someone to spend some time with who is a little less &$@%-ed up than me.   

Is that possible?