The end comes EVERY YEAR....but still - I'm NEVER ready.

Today.

Today is the day I bid farewell to the twenty little souls that have lived in my classroom for the last 181 days. 

These were the children who brought me many challenges, who pushed me to find new ways to build community, who caused me to rip my hair out on occasion, had me crying after school for MANY days in the fall, and who eventually brought me incredible joy and laughter. 

I’ll miss the boy who thought at recess when I said “go down to the other door” to go the bathroom that I meant pee in the bushes.

I’ll miss the GIRL who thought at recess when I said “go down to the other door” to go to the bathroom that I meant pee in the bushes.

I’ll miss the girl who brought me laughter each and every morning, and when I caught her doing something she WASN’T supposed to be doing, she would laugh and say “You sure do love me, Ms. Smythe!”

I’ll miss the boy who hugged me every single morning and every single afternoon at dismissal.  (Even if he DID push the envelope every single minute in-between.)

I'll miss the girl who wanted to throw dung balls at the bad guys at recess.

I'll miss the girl who used the word sh*t in her story and thought it was just fine.

I'll miss the boys who would call each other drama queens and giggle.  

I’ll miss the darling who defied almost every single request I made, but who learned to read in spite of herself. She kindly invited me to her end of the year musical performance which I happily attended with her family. I was most honored and incredibly delighted to watch her shine like a beacon.

I’ll miss the swag-man, who developed into a reading and writing machine before my very eyes, all the while wearing a gold watch a hundred times too big for him that most certainly belonged to a certain big brother who probably wondered ALL YEAR LONG where his watch went.  (It might have lived in a certain desk in our classroom…)

I'll miss the three superheroes who came to school on costume day and spent the WHOLE morning making necklaces.  ("Wait," I said, "Who's saving the world right now??) 

I’ll miss the boy who would hold his breath while practicing to battle a great white shark. The one who rides his horse down the hall and wears his cowboy boots every single day.

I'll miss the children who learned to love reading, who stole moments in the day to read under tables, who adored writer's workshop and would would practically weep every Friday afternoon. 

I’ll miss the challenges, the pencils on the floor, the notes on my desk, the books left open on tables, the emails from parents, the forgotten homework and the sound of joyous laughter floating through the room like soapy bubbles on a summer day.

I’ll spend the summer repairing my heart, and allowing it to rest and stretch  as it makes room for the twenty new souls I will welcome in September. 

That’s what summer is for; heart healing and heart stretching.    Now, someone pass me the damn tissues.