11/25/13

Some days i need her love...



I am reposting this tribute to my mother today, because I am in need of her.  I feel her arms around me, and can almost hear the whisper of her voice…if I listen very, very carefully.    

(And if you have the time at the end, can someone PLEASE MAKE ME LAUGH??)  

Her Name was AnnaBelle...
Dear Mom,

I’m getting really good at not thinking about you. In fact, sometimes I go many days without remembering the fact that you’ve been gone for over 25 years now.

However, when I saw on the news that Natasha Richardson had died -  the very same way you did, it shook me to the core. I remember when you fell in your kitchen, and had a terrible headache that night. They sent you home from the ER, and the next day you lost your sense of taste. On your next trip to the ER, they kept you and put you in ICU after discovering that hematoma at the base of your skull. It wasn’t many days after that we lost you. You were 48 years old.

So, forgive me if I allow myself a little moment this morning to think about you.

I miss your incredible sense of humor.
I miss the way you would pretend to be on sit-up number 50 in the living room when I would walk in.
I miss the way you would pee your pants from laughing so hard on the phone with your closest sister, Aunt Shirley.
I miss the smell of fresh baked sour dough bread.
I miss the way you would inadvertently piss off dad, and he would yell "ANNABELLE......."
I miss the way you always made me feel special, valuable, intelligent and strong.
Mostly, I just miss you.  

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m thinking I need to go back to Starbucks today and let the girl at the drive-in window know the reason I was crying when I picked up my coffee yesterday. I caught myself off-guard with some tucked away memories. 



118 comments:

CarrieAnn said...

Sending you love....I've missed you!!!

Hit 40 said...

Beautiful memories!! Wonderful mother.

Please do not tank on the pounds with starbucks getting through this tough time!!! Some of their drinks have more calories than a Big Mac :-(

You have your health... this sounds so contrite but it is the most important thing!

dizzblnd said...

lots of love, joy and powerful positve thoughts coming to you now

Gaston Studio said...

Beautiful tribute... sending tons of love over the wires.

Jan said...

Sending lots of love. I miss my mom, too - there are some times I just plain need her.

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Is this a re-post? It's lovely even so.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

mo.stoneskin said...

Love and thoughts sending now...

Rick Daley said...

Mothers are irreplaceable. Mine passed away in 2001 after a battle with ovarian cancer, three months before my first son was born.

American in Norway said...

Hugs from Norway! Hang in there!

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

That was really beautiful and sad and happy all at the same time. Hugs from down under.

Mrs. D said...

I know nothing is as good as your mother to make you feel better, but I hope our good vibes help, too, with whatever is going on in VM-land. I wish I could help, whatever it is. Everything passes, so keep your head high and tell 'em where to shove it!

kimberly-327 said...

good ju-ju coming your way :-)

blognut said...

I can't imagine that she wouldn't be proud of the woman you've become - you make people smile and I'll bet you make her smile, too. :)

LadyFi said...

Sending you lots of love.

Christy said...

I know you said not to comment, but I'm sending you love. And good luck today!!! Positive vibes are coming your way!

lizspin said...

love, love, and more love. . .


(and perhaps all 211 are not lost forever???)

Kat said...

Sending you massive amounts of love!

Stesha said...

Sending you...

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Cora said...

*LOVE AND BIG HUGS!!!!*

Sass said...

I'm sending you all the love this crazy lady can muster.

Thinking of you...

♥Trina♥ said...

Love and hugs heading your way!

TeacherMommy said...

Consider yourself virtually hugged!

Joanie M said...

I think the apple didn't fall far from the tree! From the things I've read, about you and your relationship with your own sister, you are VERY much AnnaBelle's daughter!

darsden said...

Big {hug} and lots of love coming your way today my friend! Nothing but love and support coming your way all day long..throughout the years xoxo

Anonymous said...

25 days, 25 months, 25 years...even in 25 centuries you will miss your mom the same (so do I with mine) and remembering her is to have her with you again.
love

Annabelle said...

OOh VM, your mum sounded like such an incredible lady, and I know that saying this doesn't help; but weren't you lucky to know her as well as you did and to have had the time to grow and develop a bond and fond memories? I bet she's looking down on you, reading your blog on the concord-speed internet in the sky and puffing her chest with pride. Because you have developed her sense of humour you described and you have created such a large following with not only your comedic talent, but your timing and the way you tell your stories.
Big hugs from Aus VM.

Adriana said...

love, love, love, love, love, LOVE!

Cindy said...

You got it girl, XXOO

zelzee said...

I am still blessed with my Mother...
My heart goes out to you, as I feel the same way about my Dad. I lost him 12 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could talk to him just-one-more-time..............

Anonymous said...

"I feel her arms around me, and can almost hear the whisper of her voice…if I listen very, very carefully."

You could not be MORE right about this, she may be physically gone but she will always be with you. Listen and look; you will see, feel and hear her guiding you through troubled waters.

Good luck to you, I hope everything works out.

Cowguy said...

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I always cry at well written love stories...

J.

The Laughing Idiot said...

{{HUGS}}

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hugs....bee

globaltoll said...

good thoughts are coming.

Fragrant Liar said...

I'm with you, girl. Hugs.

Anita said...

As soon as the kids are at school, I'm calling my mom.

Midwest Mommy said...

I can honestly say when I woke up this morning I thought of you because of our email exchange on Monday. I know today is a big day and I am thinking of you.

Dana's Brain said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and sending much, much love!!

jill jill bo bill said...

I love you, VM. I feel that exact way about my daddy. I share tears and great memories with you today.

Susan said...

Now that you've introduced me to your mother I miss her too. Lots of love to you.

WhisperingWriter said...

I know you've said that there was no need to comment but I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts.

KirstyB said...

Thinking of you!

KirstyB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Em said...

Whatever is going on, I'm so very, very sorry. I hope you can feel the love and hugs from all of us.

CSY said...

Sending love and hugs...

Becky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Suzy said...

I keep offering you MY mother and you keep turning my offer down, which means you're a smart cookie. Why don't I have any cookies in my house? THANKS FOR MENTIONING FOOD.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I remember reading this the first time. Much love from me!

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

You know, girl...your mom's in heaven - and she knows all. And she is smiling down on you with love. A Great Love.

Real Live Lesbian said...

((((hugs))))

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Sending love... that's a beautiful tribute. It's the little snapshots in life that seem to make up the big picture.

Sue Jackson said...

Keep your mom's around you today! There are days I wish my mom was still hanging around too so she could help me up when I stumble or life has thrown shit in my face for one reason or another. But I just have to believe as we are here for our own baby's, our moms are still here for us in their own way.
Take care, Sue

Not The Rockefellers said...

Big Hugs !!!

Your mother wants you to think of the things that would make her pee her pants with laughter.

She wants you to be happy.

Don't piss her off. :)

Peace - Rene

Vaquerogirl said...

((((hug)))))

April said...

i'm not your mom, but i am A mom, so ***hugs***

Stacy said...

You were lucky to have been blessed with a mom who left you with those kinds of memories. I hope you find comfort in them when you miss her too much.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

SWAK!!! Mwwwah!

Kisses and hugs so that you know you are loved!

I hope you are feeling better soon Deb!

Dusty Devoe said...

What a beautiful name,
AnnaBelle
hugs!

Sandee said...

I miss my mother too. Biggest hug ever. :)

~Just me again~ said...

(((Big Hugs)))...know she's close by to you.

SkylersDad said...

Big love coming your way!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Love from Hawaii dear.

cw2smom said...

I am sure she's knowing how much you miss her, especially right now and enveloping you in her arms with love and light! This entry brought me to tears, as my own Mom died suddenly at age 58 and we were on rocky terms. I am sure she's forgiven me as I have her...as we're all just humans, trying to make our way thru these tough times. Sending lots of love and healing thoughts to you dear Mrs Patrick! XOXO, Lisa

Jeanne said...

My mom died when I was 20. She loved country music, especially the really cheesy heartbreak songs. I used to think about how much she would have LOVED "You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille."

Sucks.

ms. changes pants while driving said...

ah, those memories that sneak up. i think of her when i'm driving. i get my cry on, then put it back away.

Gladys said...

I'm crying here. Come here and let me give you a hug. I have had those same feelings. I miss my mom everyday. I don't think it gets any easier.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

Sending love...
Especially for the little girl in you.

Lady Mama said...

Sending a big hug your way.

Anna See said...

Sending love and hugs your way as you miss your mom and deal with a rough patch. That's when I always miss mine the most, or of course on the good days, or average days, or just about any day.

Wunderwoman said...

I sent you a hug, did you feel it, did you? did you? It came with extra love...I really hope everything gets better for you soon.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

*Hugs*

Crys said...

*Hugs* and much *Love*

Madge said...

lots and lots of love to you.

Liza said...

Oh honey, you sound like you could really use a hug right now. Sending a virtual one your way!!!

PhoenixAwakened said...

That was beautiful

I've always loved the song 'Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own' by U2 when thinking of lost loved ones, but beware that if you listen to it you have a good cry.

<3

J.J. in L.A. said...

Scope sent me, he's a good guy!

My favorite uncle, a construction worker, fell from a 2-story stairwell and hit his head. He walked into the emergency room, answering all their questions correctly. They kept him overnight for observation and he'd lapsed into a coma by the next day. They never did a CT scan or MRI. He died of a hematoma at the age of 48 too. That was in 1981 and I'll never stop missing him.

(((BIG HUGS))) to you!!!

Heidi said...

Beautiful tribute. Glad you are back to blogging.
Sending you a jug.

Heidi said...

I mean a hug!

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Heartfelt love for you and your beloved Mom, who is within you, VKMom, and with you still...

Love, light and a big hug x

The Grandpa said...

Thoughts filled with positive energy are coming your way.

Laggin said...

*hug*

And I feel almost certain that she would be proud of who you are today.

Annie said...

((((((hugs)))))))

Kitem said...

Love and hugs; je t'embrasse tres fort.

Paula said...

I loved it the first time.. and it made me cry again this time. Sending you lots of hugs. =]

Joanie said...

You are virtually hugged and absolutely loved.

Da Goddess
dagoddess.com

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I'm sending you lots of hugs. I can relate, but for me, it's my dad.

{{{{{{big hugs}}}}}}}

Far Side of Fifty said...

She sounds like one heck of a lady, I am sure you do her proud!! :)

Elaine at Lipstickdaily said...

Beautiful . . . .

Eileen, Founder, Organizer, Mayor and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of the Anger Management Girls. said...

My mother has been dead for 9 years and there is not a day that goes by that I don't catch myself thinking of her or saying one of her crazy sayings.
Every one always tells me how much I am like my mother. I think that is the best compliment I've ever received.

Just from the pictures I've seen of you on the blog, you look exactly like your mother.

Welcome back!

LiteralDan said...

I have no idea what I'll do when my parents die. It's a little unnerving even to acknowledge that they will someday.

I agree that you look a lot like her, which is a good thing. I hope her memory was able to carry you through today.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Sorry I am late, Comedy Goddess wanted us to send you positve thoughts at 3:30...traffic, y'know.

5 to Listen to: ( Right now, in this order )

Coldplay "Fix You"

U2 "Stuck In A Moment"

Bob Marley "Three Little Birds"

Cake "I Will Survive"

Kelly Clarkson "My Life Would Suck Without You"

I dare you to not feel invincible after that.

Peace - Rene

Crazy Charm said...

You look just like your mom. :)

Missy said...

So sorry! Prayers for you are being said!

Renee said...

Sending a big hug! It's nice that you have such wonderful memories.

midlife slices said...

Hugs

Smart Mouth Broad said...

No words, just HUGS. Hoping that you feel the love.

Bobbi said...

Sending you a big bear hug!

Glad you're back, now I can go back to drinking Vodka again without crying!

kath said...

Wow, VM...do you really read all these comments, even down to number 98? Thank you for touching my heart with this post. Although it's only been 18 months since my mom died, I can appreciate how much you miss her. Deeply. To your very core.

Sending warm thoughts your way today. Godspeed, AnnaBelle...

Judi said...

Here comes a bucketful of love! I'm so happy you are back to blogging (wooooo-hoooo) but feeling so sad that you are needing your mother's arms around you (although we always do need them...don't we?). For today--may all of the cyber love that is coming your way and the love of those around you hold you and give you the strength that you need to soldier on. This motherless daughter crap sucks....I've been doing it for 36 years and counting and even though time does help, there are always days like you are having today! So, keep writing those tributes to your mom and keep calling out to others to hold you and surround you with care. If you need something....ask (isn't that what your mother taught you?).
Here's hoping it's not so bad and getting better....!
Judi

San Diego Momma said...

I can relate. I miss my mom too.

This was a beautiful tribute. And I AM SURE she is proud of you. :)

g said...

Oh my. What a beautiful picture of her. What wonderful memories. Such a loss.

Kristin said...

I bet she is proud. Beautiful tribute! And happy thoughts headed your way.

Jill said...

Your Mom was beautiful!

And I just lost my Mom in March- so I can relate. Your tribute made me smile!

jill.watkins@gmail.com

Oz Girl said...

I am so sorry, I can't even imagine the loss of one's mother, esp at such a young age. The bump on the head has been given more importance lately I fear...

hugs,
Susan

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Vodka Mom --this made me tear up, and today is my mom's birthday. I wish I had done something more for her than just send cards and call her.

And thank you for the sweet comment about my ear infection. You are such an awesome person! I am so happy to have met you! I wish I stuck around a bit more at Poppy's! xo

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Live.Love.Eat said...

I've been in such a funk lately but haven't said anything to anyone at all. Now here I am after coming across your blog accidentally, going through all your posts and feeling such waves of emotions and now losing it. I feel it's what I needed, to just let go, though I feel bad it's at your expense.

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justsomethoughts... said...

a great tribute.

Jun Kitatani said...

You must have been a youth at the time. How traumatizing!! This reaction of yours is normal for anyone who has undergone an extra-ordinary amount of trauma as you have. Sending you love.

Betty Owens said...

Debbie, I remember her with great love - she certainly was beautiful and loved to laugh.
One of my favorite memories is when Greg was only 7, very serious eye injury and in Pittsburgh Hospital, and your Mother sent him a package - she had gone to a trinket machine and emptied her 'piggy bank' to fill a box for Greg to open. It was such a great thoughtful gift........Aunt Betty

Anonymous said...

Wow. Goosebumps. My mom had a massive stroke at the age of 50. Your words describe my mother's incident to a "T". I miss my mother incredibly - the name AnnaBelle hit home too - my great grandmother's name. And if I had a girl I planned on naming her AnnaBelle (my mom adored her grandmother). I hate the pain your mother's passing brings but love that you have these beautiful memories of her.

Japolina said...

Hugs to you VM

Okay, here is my attempt at making you laugh..

I"m a horrible cook (I burned frozen pizza thursday night!) I'm cooking Thanksgiving/Chanukkah dinner for 15 ! It is a disaster waiting to happen given that I can't cook without dancing to blasting music and drinking wine! Xo

Mocadeaux said...

Beautiful tribute to your beautiful mom. XXXOOO

Mocadeaux said...

Alright, I just found this. It made me laugh and I hope it makes you laugh, too. "Kid President's 20 Things We Need To Say More Often"
http://youtu.be/m5yCOSHeYn4

Hugs!

Gigi said...

Sorry, no laughs from me (too much going on to even think of something funny) but I'm sending you the biggest hug I can. Yes, I can tell you with certainty that she is proud.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Crying my eyes out so I got nothing funny but I am sending you hugs.
xo jj

Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Never too old to need our Moms. So sorry you and I don't have these beautiful ladies here to give us hugs. xoxoxo