5/16/09

Have a chip...


Dear Bitchy,

 

 

Yeah, about your obsessions with running, the elliptical, salads, granola, yogurt and rice: I’ve decided to put my food down.  Enough is enough!!!

 

All that healthy crap cannot POSSIBLY be good for you.  And when you decided to walk home from the GYM last night? 

 

I decided I might not be your birth mother after all.

 

 

 

 

56 comments:

♥ Braja said...

OMG FIRST!!!

♥ Braja said...

HA!! WOOT.

OK I'm calming down. I'm still trying to get over how you said your "best friend" sent you something yesterday for your post, and I didn't....you two timin'? Or is it 25 timin' more like...
mwah kiss xxoxoo5555 (Ann...)

♥ Braja said...

Incidentally Bitchy is SUPER INTELLIGENT. Send her over here, I'll nourish her fad :)

♥ Braja said...

OK everyone else, you can leave your comments now. Braja has left the building...

Scary Mommy said...

I've started going to the gym again, but I'm the person who circles around for 20 minutes to find the closest spot. WALK home? WTF?

DKC said...

I keep telling myself that I need to get my exercise on - so far, no one in my head seems to be listening.

Um, yeah - walking home? That's reaching to a new level!

*Lissa* said...

Seriously? People do that?!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Maybe B had a hot date and needed extra time for him to get her back home? :)

laughingwolf said...

young women should NEVER walk alone at night :(

Rick Daley said...

You have to balance it all out. I ran a half marathon a couple weeks ago, then went on vacation and drank like a fish.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Deb said...

-->I think the best way to avoid injury is to not exercise.
Wait, do you 16 ounce curls count - we drink pints of beer here?!?

http://thaxtonfam.blogspot.com/

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

Ya know what my healthy, vegan, excercising daughter does???

Smokes.

I just don't get it. . .

Kyddryn said...

I can't walk home from the gym...I'd have to walk along and then cross a major, four lane, divided highway...and while fear can burn some calories, I don't think I'm that desperate...yet...

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who may be guilty of stocking the kitchen with fruits and veg...)

Ann Imig said...

Can you even begin to imagine your grandmother at a GYM??

There are millions of baffled grannies rolling around in their graves. If you listen closely you can hear them in the wind...

HAVE A SANDWICH, FOR CHRISSAKES!

Cid said...

Yeah, what is with all those exercise-obsessed, veggy-loving smokers?

Mary said...

I always thought carrying around all these excess pounds WAS a form of exercise..... why lift weights when you can wear them?

Tuesday Taylor said...

"Healthy" is a matter of opinion, my MY opinionnnnnnnnn

blognut said...

You know you can just watch that exercise shit on TV, right? You can sit right in your happy chair eating your chips, and watch people run, jump rope, and lift weights.

I find that oddly satisfying.

Unknown said...

But do you have any dip?

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

i went to curves three times this week. i think i am right up there with bitchy now. i bet i look as good too. right? right? i do too. yes i do. uh huh...

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

oh, then i went and got a big ole' juice hamburger and fries!!! ps

Irish Gumbo said...

Walking home from the gym? Jay-zus, there is a lot of crazyness in the world...I'm tired just thinking about it...

Mango Girl said...

I'm with Laughingwolf ~ seriously here!

and Rick! ~ yup, balance.

I think I am going to make some mimosas and check out the pilates classes "ON DEMAND" ~

Unknown said...

Depends on how far away fro the gym you are and whether it's dangerous roads/streets??!!

Sue said...

Good for Bitchy! Let's hope she continues a lifetime of what she's doing and hey, maybe she could drag your butt with her along the way. What do you think?

Sue

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Wow! She's got the drive I seriously need to melt my thighs down.

Walking home from the gym? Ha! I refuse to walk up the stairs in my own house! Instead, I piggyback the Hubster to get up there.

Blasé said...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo kiss kiss hug hug...I just had to out-do "Braja", I'm very competitive.

Should I assume that you were eating a bag of chips when you watched my 'Ellen' video?? Nothing like a bag of chips while being entertained by Ellen.

unmitigated me said...

Yep. Switched at birth. Musta been.

Suzy said...

If there was only one meal a day I'd be a lot happier. I'm up to like, 23 meals a day.

Bobbi said...

I'm with blognut, I just watch other people exercise.

Fifi Flowers said...

THis is hilarious!

Stephanie said...

Hee Hee. Teenagers sound like so so much fun :)

darsden said...

LOL you can always adopt me..I will lay on the sofa and pass you chips and a cocktail all the time. Maybe play a lil wii inbetween. Let me know LOL ;-)

darsden said...

damn braja you are working it today

SSP said...

I am down with the food choices..and i guess i would just need to know how far is the gym, and how late was it before i passed judgement....but then again, i trust yours (!), so if you are scandalized by her walking, i am too!!

Patsy said...

Dear Martini Mom:

I THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRUCK A NERVE. :-)

~~~Lorna

Leslie said...

I have bad news. You better go order a DNA test. Maybe she was switched at birth?

Yo said...

make bacon. no one can resist bacon. or sausage. while she's sleeping.

Fragrant Liar said...

Face it, she is not really your daughter. Or maybe she's trying to trick you into buying her a car.

Unknown said...

Girl...You and Bitchy have to get together, work out a fitness plan and share your journey with us.

Be candid with each other.

Haven't you seen "Whatever, Martha?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npBPuJwbwyI

You can totally do this way better... :)

Peace - Rene

Zip n Tizzy said...

It's not impossible that they mixed up the bassinets in the hospital. Maybe it was a really busy shift.
Well, you're stuck with her now. At least salads don't cost much.

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

Geez, send some of that energy this way, Bitchy.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I really miss going to the gym...you know, now that I can't afford it and don't have time. When I did have time and money? Different story.

Lee Ryan said...

Bitchy might at least have ran home from the gym. Inverval sprints maybe?

Ann On and On... said...

Don't hate me, I am secretly living the same life as bitchy, but I still indulge in some bad food. *Without guilt.*

Amy W said...

You do present some compelling evidence. However, I've seen tweets from you at 5a.m.-ish where you talk about going to the gym or coming back from it. So, it sounds like maybe you know a little something about this healthy stuff. ;-)

Smart Mouth Broad said...

That Bitchy is just pissin me off. Where does she get the energy? What's her secret? I need to know!

For Myself said...

I'm on to you, VM! You're so full of sh*t your eyes are brown! I SAW that photo of you and that gymnastic-y body of yours when you were Bitchy's age. You were JUST LIKE HER! C'mon, now. Just who do you think you're fooling???

Nice try though. ;)

Joanie said...

Bitchy's going to be very upset when she's old and gray and lying in the hospital, dying from nothing.

All that healthy stuff just can't be good for you. For one thing, when you get to middle age and you are thin, you have wrinkles. Not so for those of us with some meat on us.

Pass me the Ben and Jerry's please.

anymommy said...

Have to admit I had the same thought as For Myself. But, never fear, you are welcome on my couch, where the ice cream flows freely, any time!

Anonymous said...

This blog is too funny for color TV. You are now one of my fave blogs to follow. I adore anyone that can people laugh and see the flip-side to the mundane.

-Mad

SweetPeaSurry said...

he he he

I've been trying to eat healthier ... and I bunged up today and got myself a cheese ench and a side of rice. BAH ... back to the starting line for me.

blessings!

Captain Dumbass said...

Dear Bitchy, being in good shape is great, but when you start getting Madonna's pipes, that's a little creepy. Jennifer Aniston was waaaay hotter the first few seasons of Friends when she had some meat on her bones. Stick figure Jen is just not the same.

Bitchy's mom, thanks for putting me up top. Guess I need to post something...

Jenni said...

LOL! Good for her! I am all for the working out...but the healthy eating I have trouble getting behind!
Viva La Junkfood!

flutter said...

didn't you tell me once that she floated by you on the river in a basket?

or was that supposed to be a secret?

shrink on the couch said...

must be some hawtie or another in her life, eh?

Roshni said...

sounds great!
Hey! Hope the prom went well!