Today’s directions before recess for the first graders:
“Boys and girls, I know it’s 80 degrees outside, sunny and gorgeous, but here are the rules today. NO tackle football; NO tackle soccer; no tackle ninja turtles and no tackle Power Rangers. In fact, just NO TOUCHING ANYONE.
Stay OFF the top of the climbing wall – that is for the older kids- and do NOT jump off the SIDE of the steps for the slide. And only go down the slide on your BOTTOMS. Did you get that Jeremy??”
“Mrs. Smith, um, what CAN we do?”
“Well, you can go on the jungle gym, play with jump ro…wait-NO JUMP ROPES. George, do NOT tie Jack up to the teeter-totter with jump ropes ANYMORE. Actually, no one is allowed on the teeter-totters today.
You can swing, or use the sidewalk chalk, and maybe run around the path.
Oh, and NO KISSING. Got that girls? You do NOT kiss anyone at recess.
No, we have about 8 minutes left. Go have FUN!"
(Guess what everyone? I have a COOL GIVEAWAY!! I am so excited - Thank you Wishbone...Check out my new Giveaway location! I feel all giddy...)
46 comments:
LOL! Funny post, cute blog!
I will go check out the cool giveaway right now.
After today I will also be adding "No stealing the teacher's ID badge from the end of her shirt and burying it in the sand and then forgetting where you buried it." Obviously I was not paying attention to my personal space!
Okay, I'm 62 - finished raising my only son too long ago, I guess. It sounds to me like you are directing a group from Juvie who are going out to the exercise yard!
The more I hear about kids today, the more amazed I am that my grand kids are sort of semi normal (in an old fashioned grannie kind of way)!
Whew, they're a hand full now aren't they?
Grannie
I remember when the monkey bars were stationed over hard, hot, steaming cement. Now, that was recess!
Now, if a kid falls off playground equipment, they bounce 10 feet in the air off the rubber flooring and get brain damage from the 50 foot bounce onto cement nearby.
I miss the good ol' days...
God,school sure is tough in Oregon. All these rules, so many you can't even remember to tell the tiny little kids. I remember the days in school, the dodge balls bounced off your heads, or better yet, hit your ankles so it knocked you down on your ass, or you skinned your knees playing on a asphalt playground. These kids are damn lucky you landed up teaching school in Oregon. Just like God "blesses the beast and the children" please know he also blesses the teachers, such as yourself!!
Take care, Sue
I love when you go all martial law on the kids because the rules just crack me the fuck up.
Da Goddess
dagoddess.com
Might as well start getting them ready for the real world.....and the workplace.
Wait...is that child abuse?
Waitress, bring me another (and we'll talk about it)....
Sounds like home. Except we have NO RUNNING days!!
Peace - Rene
Ha ha! I used to be a teacher too (now I'm a nanny) so I know this scene all too well! Why can't they ever just play with things the way they are MEANT to be played with, huh? I mean, I'm all for creativity, but c'mon!
I know! What is UP with the kissing at school with those little guys and gals?? I have had to lay the law down with my kindergartner this year.
Ah, the last few weeks of school and the week before Christmas break. Such joyous times to be a teacher.
I'm so glad my children were born in another era when they could actualy PLAY at recess!
Just duct tape their hands to their sides. It wouldn't be very conducive to a game of kick ball, but at least they wouldn't be hitting or tackling anyone...
Have fun!? How are they supposed to have any fun if they're not allowed to touch, kiss or tie anyone up?
That's my idea of fun!!
I was one of those kids (heh ~ still am!)...when the weather is nice, I so did not want to be inside.
Still trying to figure out how to bottle all the energy.
I did have a few horrible accidents as a kid though. So, you are right on track. I agree with the duct tape thing...HA!HA!
oh boy this post sounds like me...especially at this point in the school year...we have only 6.5 days left of contact days! and i feel like an "OSCAR"{the grouch that is}
thanks for the giggle...and NO KISSING! DAMMIT{well that is what I want to say at the end of that statement1}
I bet you are just the best teacher ever.
But I also bet you're totally ready for a break. : > )
Ha. I remember as a kid (3rd or 4th grade maybe?), Mr. Macken the principal during morning announcements:
"There is to be NO playing the game called 'kill the guy with the football' during recess. Or the game called 'kill the guy.' Or 'kill' anything."
And that's how I learned that sometimes kids aren't so good at understanding the "spirit of the law."
When I was in first grade, recess was all about playing Boys Chase The Girls or Girls Chase The Boys. Who went first depended on the day. But the kissing? Oh, yes, there was kissing!
Now, when I ask my first grader if they ever play that game, he looks at me like I'm insane. "I played on the swings, Mom. I just played on the swings."
Runny cuz it's true! This made me laugh out loud!! Sadly, we can't even have recess at my school because there is shooting going on outside on a daily basis :(
I shutter to think what my punk gets up to during recess. Luckily, I'm not there to harass him!
Ha ha, I remember boys chase girls and girls chase boys.
Poor kids...you won't let them do anything. Bwahahahahaha.
Have a terrific day. :)
I remember always getting that speech, and then always going out to play tackle football. It was better spending one recess a day in detention when the other was actually fun. A broken leg or bloody nose is better than a broken spirit.
Not counting the days until summer are you?
There was no kissing when I was young cuz boys had cooties!
How about hopscotch? Kids just don't play hopscotch like they used to. Is it cause it's a really boring, dumb game or are they not allowed chalk cause they could grind it up and snort it?
Funny! My son's been compaining all year that they can't play tag anymore.
OMG, you 're letting them RUN? I hope they're not concealing sharp weapons!
I also wrap mines in bubble paper!
Remember the good old days when it was sidewalk chalk, marbles, Red Rover, gigantic spin things that made all the kids puke while trying to jump off and wooden slides? Ah those were the good ol' days of safety!!
You are Joyce Grenfell and I claim my five pounds.
HAHA! I think she needs a vacation!
One day last week on our way back to our classrooms from lunch, there was an empty condom wrapper in the stairwell. Apparently one of the teachers didn't tell his/her students "No sex at lunch." LOL At least it was just an empty wrapper and not a used condom. And those have been found, too. YUCK! Joys of high school.
Tomorrow is IT for students. Hallelujah!!!
I'm so glad I'm not at the playground during recess, my heart couldn't handle it.
I feel for teachers this time of year... but you left an important one off the list:
Erin, do NOT touch Josh's penis even if he double dog dares you.
Gee. I've never seen a $100.00 bottle of Wishbone salad dressing. That's quite a give-away.
But no jump ropes allowed on the playground? Things must be dire.
Aw, let 'em play!
This sounds kind of like the running commentary I throw at my kids while they're playing outside...
Haha.
It's actually my son I have to say the no kissing rule to. He likes to chase after girls and shout, "Kissy kissy!" I'm horrified.
What CAN we do? To win your prize? I wanna win!
I REMEMBER BY THE END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR WHERE I TAUGHT THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS TOOK ABOUT 45 MINUTES. THE END WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS: NO HITTING, PUSHING, SHOVING, BITING, KICKING, PINCHING, POKING, SLAPPING, BULLYING, SCREAMING IN PEOPLE'S EARS, KISSING, OR TOUCHING ANOTHER PERSON IN ANY WAY (THIS ONE REALLY COVERS IT ALL, I THINK), ON THE PLAYGROUND. HAVE A FUN DAY! SHEESH.
That's a lot of rules! Did they find something fun to do?
I have a giveaway on my blog at the moment, too, (my first attempt) to mark 100 posts.
You old stick in the mud ;)
Sounds like my house!
It's a little sad that by the time you put all the rules into place there's no room left for fun... I volunteer enought to know that fun isn't always my friend!
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