7/1/09

Pinch me, I think I'm dreaming...


Things I’ve learned this week:

1. The reason they call the bike path a bike path is because bikes use it. Very FAST bikes with people who are serious bikers who DON’T slow down. And not everyone has a bell or is GOOD AT AVOIDING PEDESTRIANS. (Can’t they just use the road?)

2. If you swat at a spider web that is hanging off your fragile glass wind chime with a kitchen towel, odds are GREAT you will break said wind-chime into a million pieces. (But you WILL have gotten rid of the pesky spider web.)

3. If your husband swats at a pincher bug that happens to be crawling on his face in the middle of the night while sleeping on the couch in the basement, said bug might just skeedaddle into his EAR. Then the attending physician at the ER will be amazed to find an ear-whig deep inside husband’s ear. (At 3:30 in the morning.)

4. I can’t think of anything else right now because I am STILL creeped out by the bug. I may never sleep again. Nor will he, I suspect. (Those earplugs from his previous job are coming in handy…)



The bug thing is driving me MAD. I’m thinking it came inside after I hung all of our comforters, sheets and blankets on the line. My family has now forbidden me to hang clothes on the line. &@$*&*#*@(@ bugs.




74 comments:

Rick Daley said...

I hate to be a pest, and I don't mean to bug you, but why was tightwad sleeping in the basement?

And where would the ER physician expect to find an ear-whig, if not in the aural cavity?

Rick Daley said...

Hot damn, I was first!

Desert Songbird said...

Wow! Two posts in one day! *snarky grin*

That bug thing would creep me out, too. It DOES creep me out, and I don't live in a buggy part of the country. That's just...ewwwww.....

LPC said...

Well now we know why they are called earwigs.

Lee Ryan said...

We're sure it wasn't a Ceti eel placed by Khan in order to gain control of his mind and force him to throw the kids in front of high-speed bicyclists?

Or did you put it there?

Jeanne said...

That's creepy, but not as creepy as the waitress who was spraying down the walls at a buffet with RAID while Old Dog and I were eating there Saturday morning. If I have to choose between bugs and toxic bug spray, I'll take the bugs. (Except not in my ears.) (Or other orifices.)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

You know, my husband told me this story of an ear-wig crawling into Eddie Van Halen's ear and I didn't believe him and now here you are trying to claim the same thing.

So I guess there's only one thing to say: I don't believe either one of you.

The Mother said...

If your ER doc was surprised, he must have been pretty young. This stuff happens all the time.

It's not just you, is all I'm saying.

Angie Ledbetter said...

eeeeeek! Give me the mad bike riders any day...those earwigs are responsible for me sleeping with covers over my ear since 7th grade (yeah, long long time ago) science class. OMG!

PS Can you please let TW out of the dawghouse? I think he's served his time, and then some.

Note to Self: Have VM visit here, do NOT go to her house!

only a movie said...

eeeeeeeeeww.

that is all.

blognut said...

I would never sleep again.

Not ever.

KC said...

My aunt had a mosquito get into her ear canal while sleeping. All she could hear was annoying buzzing inside her head until the doctor flushed it out with saline. After that trauma, she would freak out and start flailing and running when hearing any kind of insect-like buzzing. Oh, and she was actually releived when she had to get hearing aids.....

Stereos and Souffles said...

Not sure I could recover from the bug thing. Yikes!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Makes my skin crawl just thinking about a bug in the bed... eeks!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Kat said...

Hanging clothes here is the most efficient way to dry them....*ponders*

Under the Influence said...

I think the ear bug puts my bed bugs to shame. Yuck.

mo.stoneskin said...

I've always suspected that bugs crawl into my ears during the night. Makes sense really. Ear holes must look pretty exciting to a bug. Hell, I would love to explore an ear hole.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

Uh..yeah..I too would like to know why Tightwad had to sleep on the couch in the basement!

darsden said...

That must have drove him crazy! My sister had an ant get in her ear one time..said it was unbelievable the sound and stomping going on.

dizzblnd said...

ugh! I can't imagine a bug in my earhole or my anythinghole as far as that goes. I already sleep with earplugs now I will have to sleep with a nose plug and find a screen guard for my mouth.

I'm sorry bout the windchime.. that really sucks!

ms-teacher said...

I once read somewhere that we routinely digest different types of bugs as we sleep. That being said, I'm glad I sleep with cotton in my ears :)

Sink said...

No more sleeping in the basement...he'd better stay on good behavior.

Craig Glenn said...

Well I guess it could have been worse.... Ok, maybe not.

Weren't you complaining just the other day about posting everyday? And now you are doing two 'fers.

No complaints here, I was happy to see a new VM post pop up! Nothing like screaming kids, runaway bikes and brain eating insects to get your day going!

Craig

Lorraine said...

There was an episode of the Twilight Zone about that. Except that bug had to crawl through the guys head to get out the other side. Thank goodness for ER's!

Bobby G said...

YIKES! did the bug cause any damage? I always thought was an urban legend...

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

You've got me itchy all over.

Melinda said...

Ick, Ick Ick. An earwig in the ear is pretty much my worst nightmare. I am going to dream about that for sure tonight.

Suzy said...

I'm sleeping with earmuffs on top of my earplugs. Note to self: Buy earmuffs.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

I will never sleep again. Thank you very much. That is all.

Pastor Sharon said...

Great!!!! Just great!!! Now I'm going to have to put duck tape over my nostrils, mouth and ears when I sleep. I could end up dead by morning. . . all because of some freakin' bug with pinchers. . . and just think what the newspaper headlines will read to follow up on that story:
Pastor found dead. . . no foul play. . . she was into "duck tape" bondage! YIKES!

I would be freaked out too!

darsden said...

Paston Sharon-bawhahahaha oh my goodness that is hilarious! I wish I could come to your church...LOL

SkylersDad said...

I hate bugs. Put me up against a big animal any day. I am less afraid of them.

Ann's Rants said...

I'm going to forget I ever read that, seeing as we have earwigs all over our house in July/August.

NASTY.

Oh, and Golden Boy? Put your damned helmet on and leave yo mama ALONE.

tera said...

Speaking from personal experience, bug in ear is not fun. I once had a gnat crawl in my ear and I could not get it out. In a panic I called my mom because I had no car, so she took me to the emergency room. By the time the Dr. showed up it had left (for a better ear?) but I still had to have drops in it because it was sore.
The best part? On the way home my then 5 year old brother said, "ooh! Maybe it laid eggs!"

I had nightmares for years. Little snot.

Mwa said...

Ewww. That's gross!

I woke up once with a spider right in front of my face, on the pillow. But it didn't get in my face!!!

Trauma!

Seeker said...

Oh that would definitely gross me out.

Snow White said...

ohhh that is my worst nightmare EVER!! I locked a beetle in the bathroom last night b.c the Man wouldn't get up to kill it and I couldn't sleep thinking it might lay eggs in my ear!

and really? The doc was AMAZED by an ear-whig in an ear? hm, woulda thought that was more common...

Eric said...

What if that Spider was the one radio active spider that bite Peter Parker and you could of been the next super hero in the Marvel universe... now you think about that. ;)

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

WTF is a pincher bug? I get the mental image of a damn crawfish! Tell those only live in "Oregon"!

Malisa

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I'm going to be thinking about that bug all day...

Jennifer Juniper said...

I can just hear the dr. sitting at dinner that night "and then I pulled it out and you're never going to believe this...it was an EARWIG inside his EAR! Poor bastard has to sleep in the basement."

Hee :)

Anne said...

My early apologies to said husband...but thank heavens it was in the sheets and not in your um, delicates. Can you imagine other 'holes' he could have chosen to hang out in...

Sorry, probably not helping with the whole -creeped out by the bug thing.-

Valerie said...

lol I have had a problem with spiders in my home. Every time I go into my bathroom there is one in there. I HATE them. I don't think I have ever had a bug in my ear though. lol

Vodka Logic said...

Read the earwig bit to my daughter, she is still freaking out.

Poor guy...snicker

xx

Zip n Tizzy said...

Where I live we have lot's of bike paths but the bicyclists prefer the road. Particularly the roads where there are so many curves you wouldn't pass to save your life and since they ride in packs, you couldn't pass even if you dared.

(oops... sorry. That was a rant.)

The earwig in the ear? I thought that was a myth. I'm now thoroughly creeped now too.

Jessica said...

What is a pincher bug? A scorpion? Hopefully not!

Either way...ew.

Dana's Brain said...

Totally freaked out by the bug story!! That is really awful. Reminds me of that urban myth about the chick with the ants living in her bee-hive hairdo. *shudder*

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Oh, My, God. That is my worst nightmare! (The bug crawling in his ear, not being hit by a biker, although that wouldn't be very pleasant either)

Char said...

I read somewhere that a person digests so many spiders/insects during our lifetime. So just be glad it was in the ear!

Sue said...

I hate those pincher bugs as is, but in your ear. . . OMG, that would send me over the edge! Ick!
Sue

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Grossness! I've seen an ear-whig or two in my house and each time I call the pest control peeps with my pressure all wacky. I hate bugs! I don't think I'll sleep well tonight ... AT ALL!!

I turn to Hubster to tell him what happened. His response?

"What do you expect? It's called an EAR-whig!"

The Mind of a Mom said...

I am not freaked out by bugs but my 6'4" son is so one day he was bothering me and the next day when I found a bug I chased him down the street with it! Ahhhh revenge :o)

For Myself said...

Prove it.

What's that? You CAN'T prove it? Then it didn't happen. At least that's what I need to believe if I'm planning on sleeping tonight.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

I haven't read all of the comments, so sorry if this is redundant. But here is one solution to the bug-in-the-ear problem (which I can personally vouch for -- experienced first-hand when I was six). Pour OIL into the ear and the bug will come floating out.

I'm surprised your husband made it to ER without first going totally insane.

the mama bird diaries said...

Bugs totally suck.

wheelsonthebus said...

NASTY

The Rare Amylesaurus said...

once when we had just moved to Santa Fe, NM...upon unpacking and all....my husband had a centipede clamp down on his finger as he slid his hand under his pilllow. It was crazy and I felt uneasy sleeping in the house for weeks.

ella said...

OMG! OMG! OMG!
I hate those bugs!
That image is going to stay with me a long time...yuck!

flutter said...

rat bastard little bugs

Lora said...

oh.
dear Lord.
I am never sleeping again without earmuffs.

Marie Reed said...

Eeeek! Nightmare city!

Alix said...

I worked with a woman who went on a mission trip to some foreign country (Miami?) and came back with some sort of insect larvae burrowed under her skin and growing! there. She required an operation to remove said abomination. It left a big ol' scar on the back of her neck.

How creepy is that? Ewww, ewww, ewww.

Anonymous said...

**Tip**
When hanging things on the line, when dry, take them down and run them through the dryer for a couple of minutes to make sure all of the bugs are gone.

A Joyful Chaos said...

Thanks for giving me one more thing to worry about!

You had me laughing but I'm already feeling creepy crawlies inside my ears.

KR said...

I cannot stop reading your blog! I look forward to your posts every morning when I get into work...ummm i mean I'm on my break...yeahhh break....thanks for making my mornings more enjoyable!

Joanna Jenkins said...

A bug in my ear is my worst nightmare! OMG, how scary :-(

g said...

Ouch, earwigs! I can't help thinking of that story.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I don't dislike bugs, per se, I just don't want them ON me. Especially not in my EAR!

AS Amber said...

I'm with Rick Daley. Why was Romeo on the couch??? You finally get GB to his own room and TW takes his place?

My nephew had a spider in his ear once. They had to flush it out. Ew.

And what are the odds of having an actual EAR whig in your EAR???

class-factotum said...

Ha. If you swat at the bug ON YOUR WINDOW using a rolled-up magazine, you will BREAK THE WINDOW.

The good part is that you will learn how to replace the glass, which is a good skill to have.

Because you will have to do it again.

Because there is more than one way to break glass.

Semi-Slacker Mom said...

I would so freak out!

Sara said...

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!

I think I'll be purchasing a pair of ear plugs and then a pair of earmuffs on my lunch break.

Nerds, that is disgusting!

disa said...

情趣,情趣用品,情趣,A片下載,成人影城,愛情公寓,情色貼圖,情色,色情網站,色情遊戲,色情小說,情色文學,色情,aio交友愛情館,色情影片,臺灣情色網,寄情築園小遊戲,情色論壇,嘟嘟情人色網,情色視訊,愛情小說,言情小說,一葉情貼圖片區,情趣用品,情趣,色情漫畫,情色網,情色a片,情色遊戲,85cc成人片,嘟嘟成人網,成人網站,18成人,成人影片,成人交友網,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人光碟,微風成人區,免費成人影片,成人漫畫,成人文學,成人遊戲,成人電影,成人論壇,成人,做愛,aio,情色小說,ut聊天室,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080視訊聊天室,免費視訊聊天,哈啦聊天室,視訊聊天,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,6k聊天室,視訊聊天室,成人聊天室,中部人聊天室,免費視訊,視訊交友,視訊美女,視訊做愛,正妹牆,美女交友,玩美女人,美女,美女寫真,美女遊戲,hi5,hilive,hi5 tv,a383,微風論壇,微風,伊莉

freefun0616 said...

酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店經紀,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店工作,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

,