9/24/09

Do NOT answer that phone...


Dear Tightwad,

How long have we been married? HOW LONG? Twenty years you say?? Yeah, and of those 20 years, how many of those have I spent teaching? Did I hear you say ALL OF THEM?



Well, then, you surely know by now that I am WORKING between the hours of 8:30 and 3:00, and PROBABLY at 9:30 I am doing something like, oh, perhaps keeping TWENTY FOUR 5 year-olds in line. And on the OFF CHANCE that one or two of them is listening, I might even be teaching them to READ.



So, when you call me at that time you know I am going to answer it THINKING that a LIFE ALTERING event has happened. Then, when you had the nerve to YELL at me because we were bouncing checks (again) after I told you I was working??? Yeah. I’m about as hot as, um, well, I’m just HOT. (And when I say HOT I don’t mean smokin’ gorgeous.)



So, when you come home on Friday, don’t expect that welcome home meeting that we usually have in your office. I’ll be rolling quarters and dimes in the hopes of crawling out of our negative balance.



(Next time I remind you to go the bank, don't call me a nag and just DO IT. Oh, and you might want to stop putting money in all those separate accounts of yours and just use ONE. The ONE we pay bills with.)



me.

66 comments:

Deb Thaxton said...

-->Next time put him on speakerphone in the classroom. Or if the kids are listening say in response to whatever he says, "You farted?" The kids will at least be amused.
~deb
www.WebSavyMom.com

♥ Braja said...

I dunno...I'd be stoppin' his allowance. And by allowance I DON'T MEAN MONEY.

Keyona said...

No he didn't! He would surely be loosing his..ahem...extra curricular activities. ;o)

Mango Girl said...

I love the second part of Deb's comment...that will surely get a giggle from the kids and maybe take some of the stress out of the call for you.

xo, Mango

Anne said...

Pay day will NOT be here soon enough. I am in charge of doing groceries at my house...but the well is dry and we are out of TP. Told the Mr. last night if he wanted to wipe his A.. he needed to buy some...it's not 10-1-09 yet!

Michele said...

Two words: Direct Deposit!

Marinka said...

but you are smokin' gorgeous!

Carolyn...Online said...

I was pulled out of leading 250 girl scouts at a campout to get yelled at on the phone once. Good times...

Vodka Logic said...

Ouch sounds like someone is in the dog house. Tightwad is a slow learner like my husband.

Tara@Sticky fingers said...

I've been with my husband for 18 years and he still asks me if I'd like a cup of coffee which I have never ever liked.
It's a little bit of their brain that's missing dontchaknow.

dizzblnd said...

wow! How nervy. As if you should drop- everything.. miraculously pull money out of your ass and go to the bank right then and there.

Tell him more than 1/2 of America is in the negative..you just didn't want to feel left out.

Alix said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alix said...

Go VM Go!

Give it to the man, and by "give it" I do NOT mean "give it up."

The NERVE of some people!

Expecting fiscal responsibility AND 100% availability at all times. Sheesh. Rather Machiavellian of him, wouldn't you say.

I have a roll of quarters I can donate if that will help. Put it in a pillowcase and sling it at Tightwad.

Love you. XO

Kat said...

Men...can't live with them, can't shoot em...

S3XinthePantry said...

Here's hoping he finds a way to make it up to you by Friday and that the 5 year olds listen and learn to read.

I HEART teachers!

The Peach Tart said...

I think he maybe he needs to just have one account. Seems so much easier to me.

Expat mum said...

Call me ancient, but I'm still getting used to the fact that there are phones in every classroom!

Shana said...

The NERVE of him!

Middle Aged Woman said...

VM's readers should rest-assured that she is also smokin' gorgeous.

Fragrant Liar said...

Can you exchange him for two 20s?

Secretia Teller said...

I understand about those unnecessary phone calls, they disrupt us all the time. Hopefully your husband can get back in your good graces soon.

Secretia

Elaine said...

WHAT? Absolutely no reference to his new name - Blessed One???? Gee why not? LOL

Steven Anthony said...

now see u just blew my image of u...Ive always imagined you smoking hot gourgeous....wink wink

Linda said...

I've always envied those couples that have several accounts. We never had enough money for our single joint account. But I see how it works now, the multiple accounts doesn't mean more money- it just means more upkeep!

Brian Miller said...

please have mercy on us lower life forms...


lol.

Under the Influence said...

This is why, shortly after we were married, my husband lost all banking privileges.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

We have the cell phone ettiquete talk over here. All. The. Time. Hubs uses it to zap me whenever he is frustrated.

Stop answering the phone and cut back on that allowance Braja mentioned.

LegalMist said...

My husband does this, too - "forgets" to go to the bank, or says he doesn't have money for the account. Then he wonders why his car payment didn't get made. It's because I used the money we do have to pay the mortgage & other bills, and if he can't be bothered to go to the bank, then darn it, his car can be the one to get repossessed!!

Dr Zibbs said...

Aawww yeah.

Dr Zibbs said...

..and don't forget to check out the contest on my blog.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I've said it before...Boys are stupid!!

You go mama!!

Frau said...

I'd bitch slap him into next Tuesday but that's just me!

CSY said...

WOW! Husbands are REALLY getting annoying this week aren't they? But you ARE smoking hawt!

Crys said...

Yeah the "Account we pay bills with" is probably the number one account to ever put money in.

Snappy Di said...

Ya, and tell him the next time you go to buy a house and all those stupid bounced checks show up on your credit report HE can take the credit for it. DOH That'll teach him.. hee hee

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

My ex is terrible with mooney (tho he handles piles of it at work). But we have a joint account for kid stuff and he is not allowed to have a bank card for it. I give him cash because he refuses to enter any debits or checks. I guess he is just too special. But on-line banking also helps. I feel like a super-hero when I transfer money to the ailing account.
And he definitely needs consequences for calling you at work. And I don't mean a time-out. Or maybe I do...

Maggie said...

I never answer my phone at work, plus not many have it anyways. lol

Damn him...

Suzy said...

No husband. The money is ALL mine.

Bernie said...

The little leader that appears on my blog sounded interesting, so I clicked it on and found the reason for your distress. Can't say anything funny to make you laugh but I can commiserate with you and hope you can resolve the problem without killing him. Have all the paychecks deposited in one account and go from there. Bill and I always had only one. What is mine is yours and visa versa.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Oy. John does that all the time. Not with finances, but with things like "Don't forget.." when I'm in the middle of a meeting.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Tell him that unless he's willing to come do a lesson on negative intergers to those few kindergartners who're actually listening, you're NOT interested!

Grrrr...!!!

Craig Glenn said...

Dear Vodka mom,

You know how much I enjoy commenting on your blog. I try to think of something clever to say, maybe get a chuckle or two from you, but I have to say that I find myself speechless with this one. (Ok, not speechless but frankly you ladies scare the hell out of me)

So here are a few observations…

1)
Tightwad has access to the money?!? (Note to M, my beloved, can I have access to money too?)

2)
You let him have a cell phone AND he can call you anytime he likes? (Note to M, how come I can’t have a cell phone? I promise to only call you when you say it’s ok, just like when you tell me, “say my name b!#$%”)

3)
HE GETS WHAT! When he gets home… (Note to M, Can I …. Oh never mind.)

Carry on ladies.

Craig Glenn

Maureen McHale said...

Dear Vodka Mom,
Please ignore the comments from Craig Glenn. I didn't know he got out of his locked enclosure today. I will make sure he does not bother you in the future. Craig!!! Wait til I git you home boy!
Love,
M

A Mom on Spin said...

I'm still stuck on the meeting in his office. . . and you've been married HOW long????

Anna See said...

Bad boy, bad boy! If those kids end up not learning to read I know where the blame needs to go!

anymommy said...

Oh man. They all need a letter like this every once in a while!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

yeah.
the end.

smiles, bee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

any loose change in the sofa? ps

Captain Dumbass said...

I sense danger...

SweetPeaSurry said...

Oh my ... I can hear the whip crackin' all the way over here!!!

blessings on ya soul bebbe!

Joanie said...

Men.

Grrr.

And yeah, rolling those coins? It's just easier to throw them all in a big plastic bag and dip into that at the grocery store. You'd be surprised at how many people offer you their coupons when they see that.

Wunderwoman said...

Men SUCK!! And no not in a good way:)

California Dreamer said...

sounds like you've had a rough couple of days... you know what that means? happy hour and vodka ...lots of it :)

kanishk said...

Tell him that unless he's willing to come do a lesson on negative intergers to those few kindergartners who're actually listening, you're NOT interested!

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Angie Ledbetter said...

I'm sorry to say I've had almost that same convo before with King Rufus. ((((((VM))))))

Irish Chick Soup said...

But you are smokin' gorgeous.

EH? eh? No? Nothing? Okay then.

Feel better, you've had this one for 20 years a new model wouldn't be any better. They're all silly.

flutter said...

Oh, dear.

Char said...

Its that left side brain thing again!

Barrie said...

Does Tightwad read your blog?

tamilyn said...

Men are suppose to fix the cars, kill the bugs and put Christmas toys together. Just hand over the paycheck, and no one gets hurt.

And business meetings should be cancelled, most definately.

just making my way said...

If we ever changed banks the one we use now would probably go under. I think we keep them afloat with the overdraft fees they charge us.

Make sure to save some of those coin rolls for the liquor store!

staceyjwarner said...

umm...glad I'm a single mother...weekends off, no man to clean up after, in charge of my own finances, only cookin' for me and the kid...LOL!

Ashley.SoItGoes said...

ah yes, I loved when my family called me during class. Since they know I'm teaching, I figure it must be an emergnecy, someone's dead, in the hospital, being held hostage. Nope. Usually they'd say "oh you answered. I wanted to leave you a message" Nice.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I yi yi! :-(
xo

justlori2day said...

BWA!

We had this conversation just last week. When 5 checks for $30 that I didn't know were written bounced one of the checks I wrote for bills. I was HOT!!!! too, and like you it was not the gorgeous (as always we are) kinda hot. I just love it when he takes a bunch of checks out of the check book - somewhere in the back, and then doesnt tell me he has gone on another cigarette binge!

Bastards! ha! lo

Oh, and that "why this time?" response when I say I need to call you back while I am at work (and you are driving around with nothing better to do), IM AT WORK and dont have the liesure of hanging out on the phone all day!

Sparkless said...

I'd have made him roll the quarters and a few other things too! There's no excuse for that. Men are missing a part of the brain that is responsible for thinking.

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