I'll take "Slow, Painful Deaths" for $400, Alex.

The Question: "What is the most painful way to kill a kindergarten teacher?"

The Answer: "Show and Tell."


Boozy Tooth said...

You should get a Pulitzer Prize for that title alone.

I do so love my Vodka Mom!

Mrs. E said...

Yep, my daughter the 1st grade teacher tells me it doesn't get any better the next year!

I'm with Alix--you have great post titles. I always have to check out what the heck you are talking about now. You don't disappoint!!

Zip n Tizzy said...

T's school has instituted the sharing bag... AND NO LIVE ANIMALS!

Angie Ledbetter said...

And speaking of Show & Tell...Thank you SOOOOOO much for posing for the photo at my blog today! Love ya for it and I owe ya one!!!!!!!!! :D


Vodka Logic said...

Swine flu?? Some nasty kid rash??


Rachel Cotterill said...

I'm sure there's more of a story behind this. Come on, enlighten those of us who don't have kids - why is it so bad??

Chris said...

It's like open-mic night at a bar. Not good. Ramblers. :-)

Cora said...

Ha ha ha! I remember those days: 40 minutes of kids telling me all about their Power Rangers and Bratz Dolls.

*bored sigh*

I used to pray for a fire drill.


Anonymous said...

Painful doesn't even come close to describing it. How about, Slit My Wrists for the win.

Boozy Tooth said...

LOL, Lisa. ROFL!!!

Julie D said...

I'm here getting caught up on a week's worth of blog reading, now that I can actually sit up on the couch without my head exploding!!!! Happy Saturday!

K Dubs said...

oh my I'm laughing so hard.... I feel for you. Is there a way to ban show & tell? LOLOLOLOLOL

Anonymous said...

So the kids probably take a real long time explaining it then?


Cowguy said...

In the second grade I actually got sent to the Principal's office for my show and tell presentation.

It's been an uphill battle ever since.


Sue said...

My daughter is an art teacher for kinder and 1st grade. I LOVE the stories and ONLY can imagine what "show & tell" must be like! Enjoy your week-end. Take care.

That Janie Girl said...

I bet! You're a keeper, you can handle it!

That Janie Girl said...

Love your title. And your post. And you.


Anonymous said...

I always loved show and tell, I would wait all week for Friday so I could bring the item of choice...awwwww good times, good times;)

Everyday Goddess said...

Bright side?

All your 439857960273400502394823 followers will show up and tell you more.

It never ends does it.

Lipstick Jungle said...


I do feel for you people who are K teachers. A little. The rest of the time I wonder WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???


I bet *most* of the time it is fun! :)


Mango Girl said...

Doesn't show and tell day coincide with National Valium Day for Teachers?

Crazy Charm said...

Oh my god. I had to do this the other day in kindergarten. The objects included "hand banister", a box of tissues, a picture (of what I do not know), and a stuffed alligator.

Sara said...

Have you seen that allergy commercial with the teacher and all her students bringing in their pets on show and tell day?

That looks like it should be torture in some countries.

Dr Zibbs said...

Did anyone ever bring in a goat?

Anonymous said...

..just found your blog...I teach K too! I have a project on Donors Choose also...it is almost funded so it was nice to see your post on that :)

I will email you...Happy Weekend, lMnop

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

Best show and tell ever in my class was the little boy who did a tap dance in a tutu. Loved that kid!
(And all the others who came up with something unique enough to bring me out of my stupor.)

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

Oh, is this where the phrase, "long hours of boredom, punctuated by moments of sheer terror" originated?

Unknown said...

Hate the Show & Tell...


Suffering and Torture

Peace - Rene

blognut said...

Yep. I'm pretty sure I'd blow my brains out just to make it stop.

You're a better woman than I, Vodka Mom. No doubt about it.

Sharon Rose said...

AH. . . Show and Tell. . . I will never forget the Egyptologist in your class. . .

Any questions? HAHA

You know I do love your posts! I cannot wait to see what happens next!

Jenn@ You know... that blog? said...

Hahahaha! I hear you!

When my teen was younger, she wanted to bring her new kitten AND dog in for show and tell, so I brought them in for her - the kitten jumped to the top of a door frame and wouldn't come down, and the dog merrily joined a group of kids and took off down the hall. We couldn't find her for 20 minutes.

I will never do that to another teacher (or myself) again! Her friends still talk about it, 7 years later...

Brian Miller said...

lol. thats awesome! i would love to see a top ten on the items they have brought in...some one brought some interesting things out of their parents "private: drawer once...very gross actually....

Laoch of Chicago said...

What toy did you bring with you to show?

Beth said...

Poking a sharp stick in the eye sounds like more fun, eh?

Captain Dumbass said...

Thanks. You just reminded me that my son brought home the "Sharing Bag" on Friday.

linlah said...

Thanks for the answer. That is a riddle I would have never been able to answer.

Meg said...

Apparently there's no fear of swine flu in you school. You are grossly underpaid VM.

Irish Chick Soup said...

Are you allergic to cats as well? I feel sniffley.

Ekanthapadhikan said...

Ah! And that reminds me of the day when I substituted my cousin as a teacher in her 1st grade class and what an experience that was. Me-self being a very soft personality, the kids had the day of their lives in class, all shouting around and some of the smart ones asking me to tech them to make paper boats... I'd never forget that day when I learned these innocent looking kids could be the most devilish brats in the whole wide world!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

Great post title. We had show and tell once in grade school--and only once.

SkylersDad said...

Things you don't want to hear at show and tell:

Has anybody seen my Gaboon Viper?

Expat mum said...

Yes and helping them choose it the night before is a bit of a nightmare too!

Jackie D. Rockwell said...

How about THIS SHOW 'n TELL? When I "show" up for 3rd grade PTA (7 yrs ago), and the Principal "tells" the parents: "Don't believe everything they tell you about us, and we won't believe everything they tell us about you."

From that moment on.. I understood & respected teachers so much more!

THANK YOU VODKAMOM for being our teacher!

Mike said...

Can I use any kind of garden equipment? LOL!

flutter said...

Oh, see? I would have said "chili in the cafeteria"

Nina said...

All those wonderful treasures of little ones... Hmmmm... gum wrapper collections, pet rocks, lizards, captured frogs, poly wogs,etc.... Oh I remember them well.... Smiles and Laughter be yours... Here's a virtual shinny red apple being placed on your desk. Thanks for the memories.... Love and Light, Nina P.

Lorraine said...

I loved subbing in Kindergarten. When I got bored with the kids' S&T questions I would start in with my own silly questions like "What do you feed it for breakfast?" or "Do you have to brush it's teeth?" That snapped their heads around. Of course, that's not always an effective way of keeping the crowd controlled, because sometimes silliness begets more silliness.

Stacey J. Warner said...

blame the parents!

The Girl Next Door said...

heh heh heh hehh

that's all.

the mama bird diaries said...

Love it.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I'm with Alix. Bring on the awards. You deserve them ALL.

Joanie said...

The only other way is to deny her vodka. Which we'd never do.

mommakin said...

Oh, the flashbacks you just brought on...

I had a Pre-K kid once whose parents let him watch ridiculously scary and inappropriate movies. He always wanted to tell. "And then, and then..."

Gabriel said...

Haha! Tragically we don't have show & tell in the uk, but i remember from my part-Canadian youth. One day someone brought their hippy mum in and they talked about recycling. Worthy, but they never lived it down. Love this blog

Paige Lacey said...

I'm confused. Don't teachers love that stuff? I mean, the same way grandparents do???

Anonymous :) said...

Wow, who knew?

WeaselMomma said...


The Peach Tart said...

The title is great.

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