11/17/09

Breakfast at Tiffany's...sort of....


Breakfast at Vodkamoms:

Sassy: WHO ATE ALL THE *^&#@**^^% frosting? There’s supposed to be FOUR packets of *@#$-ing frosting left in the toaster strudel box!!! GOLDEN BOY!!

Me: PLEASE don’t shout (&@^-ing at your brother AND YOUR MOTHER first thing in the *^&@*#&$^ morning. Jesus.

Sassy: There’s no more *^@^$&*^% frosting left, and I KNOW he ate it all. He’s a (&*^ pig!!!

Me (Looking in the freezer): Oh, look there. What’s that? Looks like the *^% frosting. Imagine that. Well, it’s nice to know that things are back to *&@#ing normal around here. Have a great $#@ day at school.

(Ahhh, the sweet sound of normalcy...)



54 comments:

Jan said...

Oh, good - things ARE back to normal.

Have a %#$@ing great day yourself, woman.

Scope said...

Just for that outburst, you should make her eat Pop-Tarts, cold, for a week.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Really though, how can you @&*($ing eat a @&*($ing toaster strudel without any @&*($ing frosting?

the horror...

God only knows how they'll live without you...

You are going to have to live forever :)

Peace ~ Rene

Rick Daley said...

@&*($ing-A.

Vodka Logic said...

I see you speak the same %^$# language in your house as we do.. normal is great

The Good Cook said...

You knew it was bound to happen right? I remember right after 9/11 in NY - no one honked their horns in the streets, people held doors... for a few weeks.

Now, back to normal.

It warms the heart...

IB said...

Nothin says good morning like a volley of accusations and and cursing the family. It's the little things, eh?

slouchy said...

Love it. Because it's so familiar.

plainolebob said...

*^@#&%*
VM, sounded like a coffee shortage here.
LOL

Alix said...

The {expletive deleted} notion of missing frosting will {expletive deleted }make you do some crazy {expletive deleted} shit. I know. I've {expletive deleted} been there.

mo.stoneskin said...

I enjoyed that despite not knowing what frosting is.

KaLynn said...

AAAAHHH! The joys of motherhood! Doesn't it make your heart sing??

Glad those kRaZy days are waaaay behind me!!!
Cheers!!

Glad you guys are back to normal!

Mrs. E said...

And all is right with the world! (Well, at least YOUR world!)

FRANNIE said...

You know Golden Boy was just hiding the frosting for later right?

Laugh.

Lee Ryan said...

She probably couldn't see the frosting until you pulled your bottle of vodka out of the freezer so you could make YOUR breakfast.

Melinda said...

Sounds about right to me. :-)

Brian Miller said...

lol. i feel the same way about my *^%@(*)! toaster strudels...

Snappy Di said...

Buy the pop tarts that don't have frosting.. that'll teach 'em! LOL Kids, I swear.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

I'm so glad to see that your kids are eating a nice serving of fruit in the morning. My progeny get their fruit via Fruit Loops.

Secretia said...

Cookies never got stale in our house either!

Joanie M said...

This is why I was glad to have a job that starts at 11am and my kids got their own asses up for school. No *^@^$&*^% fighting in the mornings.

SkylersDad said...

You know, I was going to say something funny, but after reading Lee Ryan's comment, I will just sit here giggling to myself all day!

Sprite's Keeper said...

I was notorious for sucking all the frosting out of those ten packets. YUM! Saturday morning cartoons took on a whole new meaning about 30 minutes after a frosting episode..
xoxo

LPC said...

How effing great is that. Must be the Thanksgiving influence?

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

She's practicing for the real world! :)

Sara said...

In all fairness, I understand the gravity of the situation. You can't have a @#$%&? toaster streudel without the ?!%@$# frosting.

jacobatthewell said...

I'm disappointed in Golden Boy. So he didn't double-coat his strudel with frosting?

Pam said...

As usual, I'm laughing my ass off at your blog!

lifelove'n'wine said...

Flashing back about 10 years this is pretty much a typical morning at my mom's house. Ah, family.

Gayle said...

My brain totally filled in the symbols. We must have the same outbursts around here.

Janet said...

I would have slapped her in the f*%$#*! mouth.

Steven Anthony said...

lol....normal is good;)

peace

Southern Belle Mama said...

I wouldn't have blamed him if he did "double-up" on the frosting...I do :) They really need to give you 2 packets per pastry!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

That was F%$@ing hysterical!!
Sending some bloggy soap for everyone's mouth. Just happen to have some; not that anyone in MY house ever needs it...

The Wifey said...

Do you know why I love your blog? Because you're %&#@'n normal. You're not one of these goody-do momma bloggers who annoy me with posts about how wonderful and stable their household is.

Suzanne said...

I'm heading over to your place for breakfast tomorrow morning and there better be frosting! ha!

Mrs. C. said...

You should have told her you and Tightwad smeared it on each other in a wicked frenzy of lust. That'd fix 'er.

Kat said...

Do you remember the time when you were just counting the days til they would learn to %^&*-ing talk...?

♥ Braja said...

Hmmm....how's dinner lookin'?? :))

Masala Chica said...

I love that someone else curses as much as I do. I am really, really trying hard not to. The other day my 2 year old yelled - "oh f%$%@@" three times as she tried to do a Melissa and Doug puzzle.

So bad.

Draft Queen said...

That will certainly be my kitchen in no time. (As of now my 11 y/o doesn't dare curse when she thinks I can hear her.)

Expat mum said...

Maybe f@#ing oatmeal instead of f*%king frosty stuff would calm things down?

otin said...

I was watching a movie one time and the girl said that she felt like a toaster strudel. I won't elaborate! LOL!

April said...

OMG ... you always make me laugh!! I am actually excited for the teenage years with my two boys ... just reading about how entertained you are, I think my boys will keep me on my toes!! Ha ha!!
I am having a HUGE giveaway event on my blog right now ... please come take a peek!!! :o)

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

All is well in the Vodka household.

ARTISANNE said...

FLOL!!!!

Mrsblogalot said...

LOL! Note to self: buy more vodka

Dawg said...

Hey! The @#$%ing frosting was missing again this morning. *&$% this, I'm getting my own freezer with a lock!

Gaston Studio said...

I'm still laughing at mo.stoneskin's comment... wonder what they call frosting in the UK?

Far Side of Fifty said...

Sounds like normal to me..glad to hear it..normal is good:)

we_be_toys said...

Shhh, don't tell anyone, but this sounds EXACTLY like my house!

Mrs. C. said...

I've pretty much given up on trying to curb the kids' cursing around the house. We went from always using the word "bum" instead of "butt" to now, when my sweet daughter looks at the kitten and says, "Why you little bastard!"

We are fabulous role models, hey?

Stacie said...

Have you put microphones in my house???

Tamara said...

oooooooh girl do I ever know the "why animals eat their young" feeling!! My daughter will be 20 in December, a complete bitch and I still don't like her. I love her of course, she's my daughter, but I don't like her one bit.

You gave me hope for a minute when you said you liked her again and then you said she was 20. lol My balloon totally inflated cuz I don't think she will have a complete transformation in the next month. LOL

Glad you have yours back now!! I can't wait.