I'd Like the Pink Gas-Mask, Please.

These were the exciting events from TODAY’S morning meeting.

Someone in the group was passing just a little bit of gas, and let’s just say that it was extraordinary.

Matthew, who is never at a loss for Chris Rock-like one-liners, cries out,

“It smells like Nana's pot-roast up in here!”

Now, I've never had Matthew's Nana's pot-roast but if it even smelled remotely like what we were smelling, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

A little voice whispered quietly from the back of the group, without missing a beat...

“Sorry Guys...my butt's just working overtime.” It was our dear little Frank.

Knowing the stomach flu was making the rounds, I kept my eye on little Frankie all morning, because noxious gas usually precedes a cookie toss...

Sure enough about an half hour later… I beat my fifteen-second “running with the garbage can” record.

And not a DROP made it to the floor.

(And THANKS for springing me yesterday!! I am speechless, speechless, speechless - but I will whip up blubbering thank you tomorrow!!! You guys are all amazing. Bitchy and Sassy had faith ALL along..and admire your loyalty..as do I.)


ChiTown Girl said...

What the hell kind of potroast is Nana makin over there?! This is the first year that my kids have been "good" about gas in our class. Usually, the kids make a big deal out of it, as you very well know. But, this year's group just kind of ignores it. I wish I could.....day-yam!!! Sometimes I want to ask "What the hell crawled up your ass and died!?"

cheatymoon said...

LOL - butt working overtime...
The noxious gas is a nice trade off to the summer off, I guess. My classroom has been FOUL lately. Damn stinky boys.

Anonymous said...

you are like wonder women, not a drop hitting the floor...lmao;)

glad you got sprung:)

Rick Daley said...

You totally need to read my story RUDY TOOT-TOOT about a little boy who was born on a bean farm. He can out-fart your entire class.

Anonymous said...

Elementary school is the worst for gas. I let one out in 4th grade and thought I could cover it up when the cute boy whom I had a crush on that sat right next to me pointed it out to everyone. While everyone else's face was red from holding their breath, mine was red with embarrassment.

Poor frankie.

Susan Higgins said...

Very funny post - I could see you running with the trash can... well done!

Expat mum said...

Very impressed here. With me it would've been up the walls and everywhere.

Brian Miller said...

actually i wish my nana's pot roast smelled that good...lol.

great job...none on the floor!

gotta love kids!

Joanie said...

My vote tonight put you at 500!!! Woo hoo!!!! NUMBER 7!!!!!

Awesome job with the trashcan! You rock!

Captain Dumbass said...

You're kinda like a superhero.

Anonymous said...

I would switch to seventh graders at least.


Lee Ryan said...

Regarding the gas mask, I would think that the color would be less important than being designed such that you can still sip your martini while wearing it.

Anonymous said...

LOL At Brian Millers comment, that was nasty! LOL!!

Aw, Frankie is still cute right? You forgive him 4 the gas attack right? lol

AiringMyLaundry said...

I also have to wonder what kind of pot roast that is. I mean, ew.

w said...

i'd hate to think what nana's deviled eggs smelled like...

elzimmy said...

At least I have hope now, that it's not just my kids who have disgusting habits. Sometimes I wonder...

Beth P. said...

You must have some serious practice when it comes to the bucket running.

LMAO at the pot roast comment and the butt working overtime. The things they come up with!

Kim said...

Damn woman, you are awesome! I need to come to your class and take notes.

Scope said...

I think he meant "Ninja pot roast." That stuff is wicked nasty.

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

You're like greased lightning with that garbage can! Kudos!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Gah, I miss everything when I stay off the blogs during the weekends! Your own kids captured you?
And great job with getting the can to poor ole Frankie! Hopefully he didn't have cafeteria duty today.

SkylersDad said...

You need to have your kids learn to wear feedbags around their necks so things just drop into them.

What child laws??? Makes sense to me!

Trina said...

I don't think I'd want to eat Nana's pot roast, either. EWWWWW!!!

I had a student last semester who would run us out of the room. It got to the point that I'd yell out, "ARTHUR!!! OUT!!!" And he was a SENIOR!

High schoolers are just as bad as younger grades about laughing and making a big deal out of bodily functions.

Sara said...

You are CLEARLY a professional.

And who hasn't had a day when your butt is working overtime?

Just me and Frankie, eh?


Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Wow! What a morning. Those little guys are hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Darn it, Im making pot-roast tomorrow! Hope it smells better...

Anne said...

I missed today.... not the flu... but the 'cough-so-hard-I-puke'. He caught most of it on his jeans... phew... wonder if anyone will sit ~there~ tomorrow?

chocolatecovereddaydreams.blogspot.com said...

So glad he was honest to admit that his butt was working overtime. You know, don't you think his mom sorta knew that he had a tummy issue before he came to school?? I just love parents like that!

Suzy said...

I have nothing to say.

This might be a first.

mo.stoneskin said...

Little Frank will grow up to be a great man.

Formerly known as Frau said...

OMg.....you are awesome!

Trac~ said...

LOL - you are TOO funny girl! I am playing this picture in my head and for some reason it's all in slooooowwwww motion! HA!

Unknown said...

You are superhuman!

Peace ~ Rene

Irish Gumbo said...

"Butt Working Overtime"...I think that was the follow up hit song to "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot :)

Steph said...

Poor thing! At least he has a sense of humor. And go you! I don't how you do it. I could not handle the pukeys!

...stopping by from SITS...

Steph @ A Grande Life

Unknown said...

A great way to keep in shape... sprinting with a garbage can to a kid whose butt is working overtime.

Krystal Grant said...

Please let Matthew's Nana know that she needs to take a few cooking classes! Fart smelling pot roast is not appealing to me!

Anonymous said...

Love that butt working ovetime remark. You're quick with the can...wish I had been last week!

Anne said...

I think Nana needs a new recipe.... LOL

tattytiara said...

Talk about being the friend indeed for the friend in need!

Elenka said...

All in a day's work for a teacher.

Kim said...

OH MY LOL that was great. Thanks for sharing. I couldn't of kept a straight face on that one.

As Cape Cod Turns said...

Congrats on your new running record! And hey, you are up to number 6!!! To think my mom has your autograph hanging on her fridge!

Bano said...

OH. MY. GOD! I was laughing so hard that I was CRYING when I got to "my butt is just working overtime." Thanks for making my day!!!

Otter Thomas said...

I love Matthew. If I was a teacher I would want a mini chirs rock in my class every year.

Bethany said...

Great job on the trash can catching! We have a flu going around my school and a few of the teachrs have been able to participate in that trash can run too!

Anonymous said...


Unknown said...

kobe 11 shoes
canada goose jackets
lebron james shoes
true religion
cheap nfl jerseys
golden state warriors jerseys
ralph lauren outlet
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton
rolex watches
michael kors outlet
jordan shoes
louis vuitton outlet
adidas originals shoes
abercrombie and fitch
toms outlet
ugg boots
cheap oakley sunglasses
christian louboutin sale
official michael kors outlet
mont blanc
coach factory outlet
true religion outlet
kate spade handbags
coach outlet
adidas ultra boost
ugg slippers
air jordan pas cher
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
jordan 4 toro
coach outlet store online clearances
nike factory outlet
michael kors purses
louis vuitton outlet
cheap jordans
michael kors handbags
longchamp handbags

Unknown said...

cartier outlet
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors handbags
salomon outlet
christian louboutin shoes
nike trainers
tory burch outlet online
michael kors outlet clearance
oakley sunglasses
nike trainers

Unknown said...

nike roshe one
reebok sneakers
cheap ray ban sunglasses
skechers factory outlet
ugg sale
mbt shoes clearance outlet
cheap ugg boots
nike shoes outlet
michael kors bags
michael kors outlet clearance

raybanoutlet001 said...

ugg boots
gucci sito ufficiale
oakley sunglasses
ugg outlet
christian louboutin shoes
nike outlet
boston celtics jersey
nike outlet
kobe 9
coach outlet

raybanoutlet001 said...

boston celtics jersey
michael kors outlet
coach outlet
coach factory outlet
nike presto femme
nhl jerseys
skechers shoes
polo ralph lauren outlet
pandora jewelry
converse shoes

Unknown said...

birkin bag
true religion outlet
chrome hearts
nike off white
kd 10
michael kors purses
adidas stan smith
nike cortez women
lacoste online shop

Unknown said...

michael kors outlet
ray ban sunglasses
longchamp outlet
christian louboutin shoes
valentino shoes
fitflops sale clearance
ferragamo outlet
off white jordan 1

jeje said...

ray ban sunglasses
bottega veneta
asics shoes
canada goose outlet
kate spade outlet
fitflops clearance
nike huarache
pandora charms

yanmaneee said...

michael kors handbags
off white
nike air max 270
jordan shoes
supreme clothing
yeezy shoes
off white
kyrie 4