1/25/10

I'd Like the Pink Gas-Mask, Please.


These were the exciting events from TODAY’S morning meeting.


Someone in the group was passing just a little bit of gas, and let’s just say that it was extraordinary.

Matthew, who is never at a loss for Chris Rock-like one-liners, cries out,

“It smells like Nana's pot-roast up in here!”


Now, I've never had Matthew's Nana's pot-roast but if it even smelled remotely like what we were smelling, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.


A little voice whispered quietly from the back of the group, without missing a beat...

“Sorry Guys...my butt's just working overtime.” It was our dear little Frank.


Knowing the stomach flu was making the rounds, I kept my eye on little Frankie all morning, because noxious gas usually precedes a cookie toss...


Sure enough about an half hour later… I beat my fifteen-second “running with the garbage can” record.


And not a DROP made it to the floor.


(And THANKS for springing me yesterday!! I am speechless, speechless, speechless - but I will whip up blubbering thank you tomorrow!!! You guys are all amazing. Bitchy and Sassy had faith ALL along..and admire your loyalty..as do I.)


47 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

What the hell kind of potroast is Nana makin over there?! This is the first year that my kids have been "good" about gas in our class. Usually, the kids make a big deal out of it, as you very well know. But, this year's group just kind of ignores it. I wish I could.....day-yam!!! Sometimes I want to ask "What the hell crawled up your ass and died!?"

only a movie said...

LOL - butt working overtime...
The noxious gas is a nice trade off to the summer off, I guess. My classroom has been FOUL lately. Damn stinky boys.
:-)

Steven Anthony said...

you are like wonder women, not a drop hitting the floor...lmao;)

glad you got sprung:)

Rick Daley said...

You totally need to read my story RUDY TOOT-TOOT about a little boy who was born on a bean farm. He can out-fart your entire class.

The Wifey said...

Elementary school is the worst for gas. I let one out in 4th grade and thought I could cover it up when the cute boy whom I had a crush on that sat right next to me pointed it out to everyone. While everyone else's face was red from holding their breath, mine was red with embarrassment.

Poor frankie.

Susan Higgins said...

Very funny post - I could see you running with the trash can... well done!

Expat mum said...

Very impressed here. With me it would've been up the walls and everywhere.

Brian Miller said...

actually i wish my nana's pot roast smelled that good...lol.

great job...none on the floor!

gotta love kids!

Joanie M said...

My vote tonight put you at 500!!! Woo hoo!!!! NUMBER 7!!!!!

Awesome job with the trashcan! You rock!

Captain Dumbass said...

You're kinda like a superhero.

Secretia said...

I would switch to seventh graders at least.

Secretia

Lee Ryan said...

Regarding the gas mask, I would think that the color would be less important than being designed such that you can still sip your martini while wearing it.

Maggie said...

LOL At Brian Millers comment, that was nasty! LOL!!

Aw, Frankie is still cute right? You forgive him 4 the gas attack right? lol

WhisperingWriter said...

I also have to wonder what kind of pot roast that is. I mean, ew.

w said...

i'd hate to think what nana's deviled eggs smelled like...

elzimmy said...

At least I have hope now, that it's not just my kids who have disgusting habits. Sometimes I wonder...

Beth P. said...

You must have some serious practice when it comes to the bucket running.

LMAO at the pot roast comment and the butt working overtime. The things they come up with!

Under the Influence said...

Damn woman, you are awesome! I need to come to your class and take notes.

Scope said...

I think he meant "Ninja pot roast." That stuff is wicked nasty.

CatLadyLarew said...

You're like greased lightning with that garbage can! Kudos!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Gah, I miss everything when I stay off the blogs during the weekends! Your own kids captured you?
And great job with getting the can to poor ole Frankie! Hopefully he didn't have cafeteria duty today.

SkylersDad said...

You need to have your kids learn to wear feedbags around their necks so things just drop into them.

What child laws??? Makes sense to me!

♥Trina♥ said...

I don't think I'd want to eat Nana's pot roast, either. EWWWWW!!!

I had a student last semester who would run us out of the room. It got to the point that I'd yell out, "ARTHUR!!! OUT!!!" And he was a SENIOR!

High schoolers are just as bad as younger grades about laughing and making a big deal out of bodily functions.

Sara said...

You are CLEARLY a professional.

And who hasn't had a day when your butt is working overtime?

Just me and Frankie, eh?

Figures.

Anna See said...

Wow! What a morning. Those little guys are hilarious.

The Blue Zoo said...

Darn it, Im making pot-roast tomorrow! Hope it smells better...

Anne said...

I missed today.... not the flu... but the 'cough-so-hard-I-puke'. He caught most of it on his jeans... phew... wonder if anyone will sit ~there~ tomorrow?

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

So glad he was honest to admit that his butt was working overtime. You know, don't you think his mom sorta knew that he had a tummy issue before he came to school?? I just love parents like that!

Suzy said...

I have nothing to say.

This might be a first.

mo.stoneskin said...

Little Frank will grow up to be a great man.

Frau said...

OMg.....you are awesome!

Trac~ said...

LOL - you are TOO funny girl! I am playing this picture in my head and for some reason it's all in slooooowwwww motion! HA!

Not The Rockefellers said...

You are superhuman!

Peace ~ Rene

Irish Gumbo said...

"Butt Working Overtime"...I think that was the follow up hit song to "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot :)

Mrs Gloves said...

Poor thing! At least he has a sense of humor. And go you! I don't how you do it. I could not handle the pukeys!

...stopping by from SITS...

Steph @ A Grande Life

Gaston Studio said...

A great way to keep in shape... sprinting with a garbage can to a kid whose butt is working overtime.

Krystal Grant said...

Please let Matthew's Nana know that she needs to take a few cooking classes! Fart smelling pot roast is not appealing to me!

suzicate said...

Love that butt working ovetime remark. You're quick with the can...wish I had been last week!

Anne said...

I think Nana needs a new recipe.... LOL

tattytiara said...

Talk about being the friend indeed for the friend in need!

Elenka said...

All in a day's work for a teacher.

Kim said...

OH MY LOL that was great. Thanks for sharing. I couldn't of kept a straight face on that one.

Sue said...

Congrats on your new running record! And hey, you are up to number 6!!! To think my mom has your autograph hanging on her fridge!

Bano said...

OH. MY. GOD! I was laughing so hard that I was CRYING when I got to "my butt is just working overtime." Thanks for making my day!!!

Otter Thomas said...

I love Matthew. If I was a teacher I would want a mini chirs rock in my class every year.

Bethany said...

Great job on the trash can catching! We have a flu going around my school and a few of the teachrs have been able to participate in that trash can run too!

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