2/20/10

Each weekend is like Groundhog's Day - it just repeats itself over and over and over again.



Vodkamom's to-do list for the weekend:

1. Wash the four hundred loads of laundry that are strewn across the laundry room floor, hallway, and hampers. (Before Bitchy gets home with hers.)

2. Fold said laundry. (Without getting any DOG hair on it. Free to a good home- two loud, barking dogs.)

3. Scream at the unsuspecting teenagers (and several pre-teens) that are randomly laying around the place eating you out of house and home that you need help putting AWAY said laundry.

4. Let Sassy know (without screaming) that she has to dust, vacuum and generally clean the house if she ever wants to drive my car again. (Oh, and tell her she needs to FILL THE TANK.)

5. Finish said book proposal that you’ve been working on for six months. (Shhh. It’s a secret.)

6. Try to not say anything to an "on edge" Tightwad about finding a job. (Unless you have those earplugs handy.)

7. Answer the phone when it rings off the hook today, and perhaps pay one or two of those relentless bill collectors. (Honestly, it seems they need money every dang MONTH.)

8. Get your butt to the gym and work on losing that 20 (okay, 30) pounds. Right now.

9. Throw away all the bar-b-que chips. (Wait. Does anyone have any dip?)

10. Find a clever way to remind people that they can vote on Babble every day, without offending anyone.

11. Take clever "parts" pictures to post on my blog tomorrow.

12. Go to the "candy" store for more supplies. (Get the large bottle this time.)

13. Take five or six Aleve and get to work.



Did I forget anything?





55 comments:

Brian Miller said...

parts pictures...before or after the 20 pounds? smiles.

book proposal...really i wont tell anyone...

Vodka Logic said...

What about meals... do these hordes eat dinner.

Sounds like my list..good luck

The Green Family said...

At least you have pre-teens that CAN somewhat help. It doesn't really do any good to yell at a 4 year old to help :) But yes..I DO IT ANYWAYS!

I'll be thinking of you while I fold my four HUNDRED loads of laundry

Ladybird World Mother said...

What else...why, MORE WASHING of course. Sounds like my weekend too. Only I yell at the guinea pigs and the chickens to clear up after themselves, when they clearly can't. But then, am so used to yelling at children who don't, who clearly can, that am confused by who can do what. xxx

Awake In Rochester said...

I hope that you schedual a bit of time for yourself! I'll be reading about a nasty disease that i MIGHT have. Eww!

Melissa aka Equidae said...

i hate the laundry! but my weekends are more on baking lots of goodies usually :)

Megan said...

My day is similar.... but the kids are shorter.

My husband has a job... but the paycheck wouldn't have you believe so.

Cheers!

CatLadyLarew said...

That's WAY too much to do! Where's the afternoon nap on the list?

The Muse said...

Vodka...you definitely forgot the vodka....
:)

Coco said...

I think you need to go to the "candy" store first. Then crack the whip and make the teens and preteens do the laundry. Mom needs a break.

Rick Daley said...

I bet my one miniature schnauzer could out-bark your two dogs. He doesn't shed, though.

WORD VERIFICATION: ditzenfer.

What's a ditzenfer?
To pee with.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Yup. That's what my weekends are like too. Except add copious amounts of chocolate and occasional amounts of alcohol.

G said...

I think you need lots more liquid pharmaceuticals.

And a I-Pod.

Irish Gumbo said...

I'm sorry, I was lost after seeing Andie Macdowell...were you busy or something?

Michele said...

#14. Shut and LOCK bathroom door, fill tub with hot water, gently squeeze in bubble bath, light candles, soak while drinking wine.

After you work you A$$ of course.

Suzy said...

And I thought my Saturday was shit. And I don't even have anyone to yell at. (call me)

The Boob Nazi said...

Weekends are pretty boring for me too, but I'm having quite an amazing day. I'm taking time out of my gym time to comment on blogs haha.

LegalMist said...

Did you forget anything? How about some items from my list, if you don't have enough to do already...

Taxes
Grocery Shopping
Drive kids to three *hundred* different lessons and events
Install new printer
Install new computer program
Set up desk and computer for kids
Help first grader with science project
Help sixth grader with research project

...

On second thought, I think I'll forget about all that and just join you at the "candy" store...

Momma Fargo said...

I'm with THE MUSE...Vodka...was the first thing that came to my mind as I scrolled your list. Don't forget the VODKA!

Lynn said...

I have just read your last ten posts. Whew! I am all caught up. You are a busy lady!

Loved the parts about the medium. I love that stuff!!!

madtexter ☺☺☺☺☺☺ (corey james) said...

I know what you mean. Weekends can be just as routine as the work week. I sleep until about Noon, get a mani-pedi-botox-fake tan, pick up a Mocha Frapaccino at Starbucks, then blog a bit while listening to 80's tunes on the radio. What a rough life.

And tonight, hubby wants to drag me to dinner and a movie. Ugh! There's just not enough hours in the day!

(smell that? that's sarcasm.)

only a movie said...

Silly children don't realize that we want our play time too.

Good luck w/ the book proposal.
Thinking good thoughts for you! xo

FAIL said...

You mean I can vote each day for people who are funny, confident and believe in themselves to the point where they don't try to come up with not very subtle but still completely desperate ways to remind me every day? AWEsome!

The Pipster said...

Ha ha, I just went to the "candy" store and am enjoying my "candy". It's about that time here. P.S. Make tightwad do play mom for a day and that will shut him the hell up.

Merideth in Wyoming said...

It's a proven scientific fact that both laundry and dirty dishes breed. Hence they are never done.

Lori said...

I'd say that just about covers it. Oh, how about meals? That's gotta be worth something.

Oh, and my word verification is: anness. I don't know. I thought it was funny. OK

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

oh, i agree.

lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseum.

Fiftiesmom said...

Hey, you stole my list! I highly recommend the candy store first. One nice thing about Texas, many types of candy are sold at the local Kroger so I just pick it up with the eggs,milk and other essentials.
Please don't throw out the BBQ chips if they are Middleswarth, though.

Mellodee said...

Your list makes my head hurt!

Captain Dumbass said...

Naps. Don't forget naps.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Book proposal...YAY!
And watch your belly with those Alleve (she says, from experience...).

Laura said...

Yay for you & the babble reminder...before i even read tour post, i noticed the rearrangement! You deserve many, many votes!!!

My list today: sleep. nurse baby. sleep more. (worked a 13 hr night shift last night, but i always do sleep better in the daytime!) Hubby put a dent in our 400 loads of laundry, but left it in piles for me to fold tomorrow...

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

FYI: I have dip. Also, "candy." Skip the stinkin' laundry and C'mon over!"

The Plus Side! said...

I knew you'd make me laugh! Your Saturday sounds more fun than mine! Hope Vodka makes it into plans for Sunday!

The Wife of a Dairyman ~ Nancy said...

I hear you on the laudry issue....our four month old dryer just broke down and I had to hall two loads to my parent's today.....Sears doesn't arrive until Thursday! Not a good thing when you live on a dairy...Yikes!

Steven Anthony said...

wow..that list would make me hide in bed all weekend;)

Bernie said...

Oh my dear! I remember those days well. Would you believe that some day you will look back and remember them as being some of the best years?

O.K. I know you won't believe that but my suggestion is--get the vodka ready and set up a reward system for yourself. If I get 4 loads washed and folded, then I get to sit and have one small drink. You don't want to do this too fast because then you will never finish. Or you could try the Tom Sawyer trick of trying to fool them into thinking it is fun to see the piles go down and the nice clean clothes all folded sitting there smelling wonderful. Totally unrealistic, right. But you might give it a try with the youngest ones.

It wasn't that long ago that Bill was working in another state and would come home late every Friday night with 7 white shirts that had to be ironed plus his other laundry and the two youngest boys and my own. He also had to eat well as he didn't where he was so I made big dinners. I was selling real estate at the time and when he left Sunday after a big dinner, I had to go to a 3 hour open house. Sunday nights I crashed.

(I don't know who put a nickel in me. Sorry.

The Blue Zoo said...

My weekends are always the same old thing too. Movies, video games, and laundry! Lots and lots of laundry. Ugh.

Paige Lacey said...

You're living my life, right down to the BBQ chips!

WeaselMomma said...

Remember when weekends were relaxing? Me neither.

Gaston Studio said...

Well, how about taking a moment to just BREATHE!? That might help with all the screaming you have to do to get any help around there.

Secretia said...

Sorry you need the Aleves to get to work. Feel better, keep up at the gym, it'll be so good for you.

Secretia

Middle Aged Woman said...

Of course not. Everyone know's moms don't eat or sleep. (You'd think that would make it easier to lose that nagging 10 pounds, right?)

Middle Aged Woman said...

Oh. My. God. I just used the tern "know's." Now I have to stick my head in the oven. If you tell the Captain about this, I will be in for some bad, bad shit.

tamilyn said...

Hmm, sounds like you are at my house. And Dude yelled because I asked our friends to come over today to eat, play cards and hang out-and the house is a mess. Well.....if someone would help me, it wouldn't be a mess now would it?

She Who Sasses said...

i'm sure someone said this...but THE VODKA!!!!

Sara said...

"Parts pictures?"

I must admit, that makes me nervous.

And curious.

Mildred Ratched said...

Those seem like the good old days to me! Kids are grown and gone...house is quiet (and needs te elves to come in at night and clean it) and is partnerless. Wait! Isn't this what people dream of?

Just Words On A Page said...

All I can say is Ugh. Now I have to say if they had as service that would show up with like a huge ass truck with like 5 washing machines and 5 dryers in it - and the sides flipped up like a roach coach and you could pay someone to take your laundry OUT to the trucks and wash it, dry it, and fold it.

I'd so fucking pay for that service. I really would. I'd even bring the laundry in, stack it and help put the crap away.

I feel your pain.

Mags said...

I know how it is...I actually banished my husband and the kids from the house this afternoon so I could get caught up with some housework. I did do some, but thought why should they get to have all the fun and not me?!? So, now I'm being a slacker.

Donna said...

Sounds like my list, but you need to add some yummy baking, like cupcakes or cookies or brownies. That and some vodka should make you weekend much better!

Kris said...

voting complete!

Middle Aged Woman said...

"Fail" is formally known as "Fail Whale." And is an arsehole.

And in the comment where I bemoaned having used an inappropriate apostrophe, I spelled "term" incorrectly. Now I have to point at myself and laugh.

JulieBouf said...

Didnt' you know? It's Beaver Day now. According to my 4-yo. I don't think I need to tell you that I almost wet my pants when she told me "Oh yea, and Happy Beaver Day Mommy!"

Otter Thomas said...

I think if you move the pills and bottle to the top of the list the rest would be much more enjoyable.