5/10/10

Wait, WHAT day was Sunday?


The things I did yesterday? Well, let’s see if I can give a quick recap.

First, I made a little trip to McDonald’s for a greasy cheeseburger after hearing Sassy driving the great white porcelain bus in the bathroom. It appears that Sassy caught a “stomach virus” from a fella she met at her social gathering on Saturday night. I think his name was Daniels; yeah, and his first name was Jack. (I might have been born at night, but it wasn’t LAST night. And p.s., if Vodkamom can’t smell a hangover a mile away, she had better change her name.) Moms know lots of things, and Mom’s of TEENS know even more. The “having a teen” thing is what TAUGHT me what a hangover was. Sheesh.


Then, I spent a half an hour cleaning up MUD, leaves and what I THINK was a large spider that Golden Boy and the neighbor kids managed to track through my NEW downstairs bedroom (that’s nearly complete after eight years under construction) after managing to pry open the window that was supposedly burglar-proof. (Note to window manufacturer: If three fairly STUPID and filthy 11 year-old boys can open the damn window, so can Jack the Ripper.) And if I could RUN faster, their #**@* would be so sore right now.

Third, apparently Bitchy didn’t get the message that moms try NOT to clean on Mother’s Day, and managed to convince me to not only clean out the (God-awful) refrigerator with her, but the linen closet and the laundry room as well. WHY am I such an easy target? WHY? I also managed to fold only two loads of laundry- cause heaven FORBID I miss a day of THAT.

Fourth, and certainly not the least important, Tightwad had to work for the billionth day in a row. While it is doing wonders for paying those bills we’ve been ignoring for, oh, say about a year, it put a bit of a damper on my kid yelling. They don’t take me quite as seriously when the fairly huge Tightwad isn’t standing right behind me. (Apparently I’m a five foot-one inch wussie.)


All in all you know what kind of Mother’s Day it was? YOU WANT TO KNOW?


It was perfect. Absolutely, incredibly, stinking P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

33 comments:

The Blue Zoo said...

I think I caught that particular "stomach virus" every single weekend as a teen.

Happy Mothers Day!

LegalMist said...

Well said. I wouldn't miss all those kinds of moments for the world.

Happy Mother's Day. :)

Frau said...

Mother's job never ends! Mine kept saying oh let me get that .....and hour later I would just do it! Our peeps are smarter than we think!

Rachel Cotterill said...

All these Mothers Day posts keep making me feel pangs of guilt for not having done anything for my mum. And then I remember - in the UK, we did ours in March.

WeaselMomma said...

What a day! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

only a movie said...

I'm tired reading that, honey.
In my house, magical elves did all the chores yesterday (ha). Have fun w/ the kindergarten kidlets today... xo

Brian Miller said...

at least you cant say you were bored...lol

Michele said...

Sounds pretty typical when teens are in the house. You did get that cheeseburger in order to taunt Sassy with it because nothing cures reoccurring hangovers faster then gross food and loud noises.

Sara said...

How do kids do that? It's like the smell the clean thing in the room/house, zero in on it and make it dirty/muddy/sticky/smelly/crunchy/disgusting.

Happy Mother's Day!

Kathryn Magendie said...

*laughing* - happy mother's day! :)

Sue said...

Damn men! Even Jack Daniels doesn't know when to stop!
At least Bitchy cleaned WITH you (or so you said).

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Hell, I guess every day really is Mother's Day when you put it this way.

The Empress said...

Einstein's theory of parallel universes: b/c the same damn thing went down here yesterday, sister.

Just call me Cinderella...

Happy Mother's Day, anyway...(no thanks, Hallmark...you're the only winner in this.)

The Broad said...

You are just perfect ...
I hope there are Mothers like you everywhere ..

Happy Day After ...

Alix said...

As it should be. Happy Perfect Mothers Day, D.

Wendy said...

Just keep telling yourself 'these are the days we'll look back on and miss.'
=-)

Cheryl said...

I'm so curious about your new status over at BlogHer. Not curious enough to visit, mind you, but curious nonetheless.

Your MD sounds just about right considering the names you've given your children.

Vodka Logic said...

At least Bitchy helped you, and Sassy came home with hopefully a lesson learned.

Glad it was perfect but mine was more perfecter... :)

Steven Anthony said...

ahhhh yes, the stomach virus, Ive had that a few times;)

Mrs. D said...

She WANTED to clean out the fridge? WTF???

Happy Mother's Day, VodkaMom!!

slow panic said...

Happy Mother's Day. I'm just sitting around WAITING for mine to be teens. Really.

My 11 year old son would never sneak out of a window--he's one of those good kids -- but his little brother? I am already afraid. I am very very afraid

Joanna Jenkins said...

Sounds like another day in paradise :-)

xo

GraceesMommy said...

i have just one question...is this the payback that my mom always told me I would get because of how i behaved as a teen.

the most famous roseism "I hope GOD gives you one just like you." She even called out the big Guy for revenge!!

say it ain't so!

Scope said...

I think what Sassy needed was some runny eggs and a warm Red, White, & Blue.

Do they still brew that?

Suzy said...

If that was your perfect Mother's Day I'd hate to hear about your worst one!

Sodermoto said...

Just think, if they hadn't been acting like the 'angels' they were you wouldn't have a very entertaining blog post that makes me laugh/worry about the spawn of mine that is still waiting to burst out of me and make my life as interesting as yours. :) Happy Mother's day!

adrienne said...

Was the greasy burger for you, or a lesson for Sassy?

Virginia Mom said...

Nothing like a greasy cheeseburger after you've finished "praying to the porcelain god" with a hangover... seriously, that used to be the first thing I wanted to eat after I recovered! (Of course we're talking almost 20 years ago... a hangover these days would kill me, no questions asked!) :)

Dawn said...

Wait...What?? Were you at MY house yesterday??

No... I guess not. As the puking that was going on here was NOT the Daniel's variety, but the actual flu kind.
But the laundry and cleaning of the fridge did occur.
Happy Mother's day is right! :)

Captain Dumbass said...

Glad you had a good day then. We celebrated today since I had to work yesterday. BBQ for mom and dad, McHappy Meals for the boys and coloured paper flowers to decorate mommy's hospital room. Good times.

Joanie M said...

I spent Mother's Day driving my oldest daughter to the Newark airport so she could leave me and spend a fabulous week in Ireland! And when I say spent the day, I mean, I left my house at 11am and didn't get home until 7pm and most of that time was in the car. And my Mother's Day dinner was at a rest stop on the NJ Turnpike. But hey! I didn't have to cook!

Nishant said...

Happy Mother's Day belated.
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Anna See said...

Oh my. What a day! You are a 5'1" powerhouse and those kids have NOTHING on you.