6/19/10

Oh no he DIDN'T!!


If you give your husband BACK his credit card, he might smile and send on your way as you run errands.

He might decide on his OWN, to go do his Father's Day Shopping.

Then, if he hits the JACKPOT at Home Depot, he MIGHT come home and do a little sprucing up of the yard.

Then, when his wife returns from her various errands and spots a few branches in the side yard, she might take a little walk to investigate.


Along this walk, she MIGHT encounter REMNANTS of her forsythia bush; her HUGE lilac tree and all its hundreds of (deceased) babies; some incredibly large branches from several apple trees; and many, many, many branches from the Japanese Cherry tree that she has lovingly tended for say , oh, about 15 years.





Yeah.


Say a couple novenas and a few Hail Mary's, cause odds are GREAT that he won't live through the night.






52 comments:

Sue said...

I miss a lot of things in my life from time to time. But, I never, EVER, miss my ex-husband! Hey, at least yours attempted to garden. Mine could never figure out how to get off the couch, like his ass was glued to it!!

Take care, Sue

Everyday Goddess said...

go postal on his ass.

Just Breathe said...

My oh my ~ why? What was he thinking? I am so sorry.

a Broad said...

That makes me feel kinda sick.
I have had things like that happen in the past and I almost didn't ( I did not ) get over them. Of course, I am a champion grudge-holder and will not forget..

I am so sorry. I know exactly how it feels to lovingly tend a plant/bush/tree/living thing and see it grow and do well .. it is heart breaking to see this.
And you can't really kill him .. so , I guess you are just going to have to make life hell for a while.. at least until they grow back.

So sorry ...

Marg said...

That reminds me of the time my father did that to some of my mother's plants about 20 yrs ago. She still hasn't forgiven him.

Men!

Liss said...

Oh wow. Deathwish or what? Is he wearing a suit of armor to bed?

Brian Miller said...

but it is fathers day tomorrow...oh man, there is no hope...better run fast...

The Wife of a Dairyman ~ Nancy said...

Oh MY!! What can you say?....Thankyou? At least he tried.....

Teresa Dawn said...

Uh oh.

Fragrant Liar said...

D'oh! Is he still breathing?

Wendy said...

He meant well.

He had fun at the time.

He could have been doing much MUCH worse things.


And every time he moves tomorrow, his body will remind him that he's no Spring Chicken any more.
And you'll be able to LAUGH at him every time he groans!
=-)

Joanna Jenkins said...

A boy and his toys. I think that adds up to justifiable homicide.

Oy

kisatrtle said...

I can't wait to hear what he was thinking.

Mellodee said...

Yep, you got grounds right there for justifiable homicide or at the very least for divorce!!

Oh, my my my! WHY did he choose to slaughter your bushes??

My deepest condolences on your loss.

Vodka Mom said...

okay, whoever is HIDING him needs to FESS UP!!



Come on, I know he's here SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!

Casey Freeland said...

Oh, man! Really? He is so completely dead. I guess he figured you wouldn't kill him on Father's Day Eve? Phew.
Casey

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I think he's hiding in the Father's Day pub... maybe with Mo.

twirl unabashedly said...

i tend the lilac bush that my great grandmother started in her 20's...

go kick his ass.

Eternally Distracted said...

I feel some ass-kickin' comin' on and on and on and on... and then daily reminders of his stupidity for, let's say, the next twenty-five years... give or take a day or two.

Gayle said...

I believe Idiot of the Day award is in order. I'd kill him.

Frau said...

Omg.....you killed him on Father's Day!

Cheryl said...

It could have been worse.

No. I couldn't.

Plenty of shovels here. When shall we start?

WeaselMomma said...

This reminds of something my kids would do with a new power tool. Ah, boys and their toys.

Scope said...

Are you going to use a power tool to cut off his "special limb"?

just making my way said...

Guessing his Father's Day isn't going to be too happy. Sorry, VM!

CatLadyLarew said...

My ex-husband used to do that... notice the addition of the ex to the husband part!

Vodka Logic said...

OMG that is terrible.. nothing like a boy with toys.

make him suffer for sure.

middleagedcrazywoman said...

Oh he DIDN'T!! Good lord, do we have to take up a fund to bail you out and hire a lawyer? How do you set up one of those linky things for it?!?

Justified homicide I tell ya!!

See, this is why you can't just leave them alone with power tools of any kind.

M

sara said...

What was he thinking? He needs to pay for this.. For now monetary would suffice - extra spending on shoes, bags, clothes and beauty products..
Later - massages, laundry and listening to you bitch about friends shortcomings and their handsome more competent husbands.

I'm Grace said...

I hate it when men get power tools.

I am so sorry for you and your garden.

Suzy said...

Our whole street in D.C. had Japanese Cherry Trees and when they bloomed? Heaven. We also had one in our front yard. I once drove by the old house and the new owners had cut down the one in our yard.

To add insult to injury, the family was Japanese.

yogurt said...

Am hoping he was trimming the bottom branches in order to help the trees and especially the lilac bushes toward more healthy, taller growth. No?

Linda said...

Oh, oh, oh. What was he thinking? I hope you don't find that saw and him at the same time.

That makes me sad. Dare I hope that he was just trimming and it looks worse than it is?

Jeanne said...

Old Dog does the same thing. I've given up on ever having nice shrubbery.

SSP said...

rut row...this sucks!!

i am sure he is thinking he was doing something nice - those kind souls at home depot probably told him if he hadn't done it in a while, he'd need to take a coupla feet offa everything, so they can grow better and faster......uh huh...yeah...cutting my hair 2 inches instead of the 1/2 " i requested DEFINITELY made my hair longer

Gigi said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooo! We've a had a couple of instances in the yard (nothing this drastic thank goodness) and now hubby knows - he's not allowed to do ANYTHING in the yard except mow & weed-eat unless I'm home to supervise.

Diane J. said...

I think it should be a law that men can only use trimmers, chainsaws, etc... when the female head of house is present.

My husband when all Dirty Harry on some of our trees a few years ago. I went all Cruella DeVille on him. He hasn't done it since.

Teacher Stuff said...

My hubby knows that if her were to touch my plants, then he better have a nice diamond ring, bracelet or earrings waiting at home for me! I've never gotten any of those things, so.... :) At least I don't have any hacked up plants...and if I do, they are from me!

Anonymous said...

外遇---偷來的時間、偷來的伴侶、偷來的愛情
或許新鮮刺激,或許瘋狂美好,但這一切,終究是偷來的…
外遇傷害了一個幸福的家庭
或許你會說:問題其實早已存在,外遇並不是傷害的唯一因素
但是內心深處其實你知道,這只是外遇的藉口!
建築在傷害別人之下所得到的愛情,終究難以幸福…

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh no! Men and their power tools...
Your poor trees!

Lili said...

Hide every tool. As soon as he goes to work. Preferably at someone elses house. Then with a perfectly calm face say: "I have no idea what you're on about." Then smile.

Mimi Lenox said...

My heart sank with every picture. It just got worse and worse. I love trees and bushes and all things green.

This is a federal crime, isn't it?

Otter Thomas said...

Gotta love a man and his chainsaw. I can get a little out of hand at times too.

jwg said...

I'll contribute to the bail fund.

Brenda said...

he should be floggged with the branches from the lilac bush.mine got trimmed this year due to people trying to be helpful. I'm hoping it comes back next spring with a vengance.

Jacki said...

I am in a full on panic for you!

Joanie M said...

Send him to this side of Oregon. I got lots of trees he can mangle. but I'm not cooking. I will spring for hoagies though. Yeah, they have hoagies in Oregon!

Carolyn...Online said...

Oh man. Garden genocide. Sorry dude.

Missy said...

Was he drunk? Was he suffering from the heat? Oh my, the Lilac... Yeah, give it to him bad!!!!

Magpie said...

Is he dead yet?

modchik said...

I would have died!.... oh that was painful for me to watch... I'm so sorry about your babies!

Hollywood Farm Films said...

Reminds me of when my hub mowed over my hydrengias that took me FOR FREEKING EVER TO BLOOM!!! Transplanted several times and finally, FINALLY, they survived.

Then he mowed over them.
Not bitterly, just stoned!!!

:((

Oh well more trees to plant over at the new pad!!