I'll take "Things you should never say to your mother" for $400, Alex.

A few suggestions to girls HOPING to travel to New York City with their mother next weekend:

When she returns from the salon with a cute little sassy haircut do NOT burst into hysterical laughter and do NOT utter the word "Ewwwwww."

And Sassy, when texting your friend about said haircut, do NOT ask for help spelling the word atrocious. That just bought you the cot next weekend.

Anyone want to adopt two girls? They're only slightly used, potty trained and eat only when forced. (Make sure you've got plenty of ranch dressing and hot sauce.)


Scope said...

Cot? HELL! Floor!

I'm sure she was just jealous of the cut.

kel said...

heeheee... that's hilarious! poor mom!!

a Broad said...

Did you tell them that they have appointments at the same hairdresser for Tuesday?

I am sure you look adorable.

Snappy Di said...

Get the scissors out when they're sleeping.. heck, get the electric shaver out.


Brian Miller said...

oh my...how about a pic so we can...properly determine hte extent of the pain she needs...smiles.

Rachel Cotterill said...

I wanna see your haircut!!

Bee and Rose said...

I think Brian is on to something:) Threaten punishment to be determined by the blogosphere! lol!

What is it about a mom getting her haircut that turns her family into a bunch of critics and lunatics? I feel your pain:) My daughter (age 7 btw) thinks she works at Paul Mitchell salon and clearly knows what's better for me than I do!

Real Live Lesbian said...

That sounds like jealousy to me. Not everyone can have cute hair like WE do! Have fun in NYC alone!

Cheryl said...

Isn't atrocious actually spelled FANTASTIC? Same number of letters so I can understand the confusion.

middleagedcrazywoman said...

Ranch dressing and hot sauce. Hmmm. Interesting combo!


only a movie said...

I'm sure it's an amazingly cute haircut.
Can't wait to hear about your BlogHer adventures.

Vodka Mom said...

okay, I'll show a pic tomorrow. If I can manage to get one that DOESN'T reveal my true identity.



Maggie said...

When I was younger I use to do that to mom even when it looked good I was just being a big meanie! xD

Sue said...

I'm sorry, but "thanks" for making me burst out laughing! And sorry, I've got enough of my own kids insults with adding any more to my herd! And I also WORK with mine!!

Take care, Sue

Under the Influence said...

Does this mean you are going to BlogHer? I'll hunt you down. Not like "stalker hunt you down" but "can't wait to meet you" hunt you down!

Cheryl D. said...

LOL! Too funny.

Kyddryn said...

You said "...Ranch dressing and hot sauce..." to a pregnant woman...dang it...now I want wings...

Wait, what was this post about??

Shade and Sweetwater,

Lisa said...

Their day will come. Mwahahahahah!

Suzy said...

I swear that Babble website is the most retarded website ever. STILL CAN'T VOTE FROM THE LAST TIME.

Finally took off my word vero. Eek.

Captain Dumbass said...

No thanks.

kathleen shoop said...

Laughter? Laughter's good. Laughter's good, right?

Missy said...

I don't think I could handle two more! Especially, if they like to make fun of mom...

Dawn said...

Can't wait to see the pic!!
I'm sure your haircut is AMAZING!
Have fun at BlogHer!

Elizabeth said...

You have a razor tongue and are a gorgeous spitting image of Annie Lenox. I have boys who so far have yet to notice I have hair. I love your blog title, and am thinking you might enjoy hearing what one of my Bunco gals did with a bottle of Grey Goose on Friday night!

Jules said...

I really needed that laugh, thank you.

jessica said...

hahaha my husband said of my sassy little haircut "you look like a lesbian" and yes, the next time he wanted some bowchicawow i told him i didn't like men :)

Trac~ said...

Those girls still haven't learned have they? I happen to LOVE that hairstyle and think it's adorable! My mother actually (who is turning 60 in 2 weeks) just got the same exact hairstyle so I say go for it hot mama! :o)

Gigi said...

Seriously - where do these kids get off criticizing US? They are the ones with the sketchy outfits and the weird hair. I can't wait to show their children pictures of them 20 years from now.....

Yes, Revenge. It's a dish best served cold. ;-)

I'm sure your hair is FABULOUS!

Joanie M said...

Uh... no thanks. I got one of those girls here now, and I can't get rid of HER!

I vote for floor too!!!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Are my daughters living double lives? That sounds like something I might hear.

Elenka said...

I might trade ya for one son. Mostly potty trained (lest you think I'm speaking of a toddler, I'm not) , eats more than that and is also slightly used.

Elenka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
W.C.Camp said...

As long as they are 'potty trained' because I REALLY like my coffee. W.C.C.

Anonymous said...


The Empress said...

I love hearing about your smarta**girls....I just do... bwaahaaahhaa...

Cheeseboy said...

I love cute and sassy. I would never.

Birdman said...

Hey, we all have our crosses to bear... lucky you though, you have 2! I read you stuff ever so often. Get a seat in rehab; ya might just need it. Just chuckle sometimes... hahahaha!

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