A few suggestions to girls HOPING to travel to New York City with their mother next weekend:
When she returns from the salon with a cute little sassy haircut do NOT burst into hysterical laughter and do NOT utter the word "Ewwwwww."
And Sassy, when texting your friend about said haircut, do NOT ask for help spelling the word atrocious. That just bought you the cot next weekend.
Anyone want to adopt two girls? They're only slightly used, potty trained and eat only when forced. (Make sure you've got plenty of ranch dressing and hot sauce.)
