Today I'm wearing the my plastic jumpsuit.

Note to Self…

If a child says their head and tummy hurts, and you ask them if they think they are going to throw up, and they say maybe, odds are great that they will vomit at that very moment.

If said child is one that has been crying every afternoon since school started, and you have a feeling she just wants to go home so see her mom, IGNORE that feeling.

When taking said child to the office because the crying is disrupting the class, take a garbage can with you. Chances are great that said child will vomit.

When interviewing prospective K-2 Failsafe paraprofessionals for your classroom, make sure they don’t run when they see vomit.

When talking to parents at the beginning of the year, make sure they send extra clothes just in case their child vomits.

When planning a program that involves running in place, jumping jacks, and singing and dancing, make sure to schedule it in the morning, and NOT after lunch. Someone might vomit.

Guess what happened yesterday in kindergarten? Yep, you got it.


Unknown said...

Eeewwwww! No matter how sweet the little darlings can be, vomit just stinks! Pun intended, tee hee.

Liz Wilkey (a.k.a. A Mom on Spin) said...

when coming home after a long hard day, be careful not to over-indulge in your martini drinking.

Someone may vomit. . .

As Cape Cod Turns said...

Ewww. You might want to add some sort of mask to your plastic outfit.

Unknown said...

Yuck, ewwww, gross!!!! Vomiting kiddos = no fun :-)

Joanie said...

Another reason why I'm not a teacher. I'd be vomiting right next to said child.

God bless you.

Scope said...

And does the teacher keep a spare set of clothes at school just in case the plastic jumpsuit idea fails?

Deb said...

-->I still feel bad that I vomited on my fourth grade teacher. I was standing by her desk, gave her warning and she wanted to write me a hall pass (which was not needed in my small school). BAM - - I tried to make the garbage can next to the desk, in my defense.

Captain Dumbass said...

You're almost like an emergency room nurse.

Jules AF said...

I would throw up if a child threw up on me.

Karen Harrington said...

Hey, sounds like you had the same week as my girls' kindergarten teacher...only my daughter ran over to investigate said vomit and reported back to me all about it. Ha! Have a vomit-free weekend!

Notes From ABroad said...

Little kids are cute but I didn't even want to be near my own when they were vomiting :(

rn terri said...

As a school nurse, I can tell you, there is ALWAYS vomit. We haven't even been in session a month and I have had more than I can take........

Fragrant Liar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fragrant Liar said...

Okay then. I don't know why a personal barf bucket isn't a required school supply for Kindergartners. I think you ought to lobby for that. Make them all pretty and put their names on them. Hang them around their necks when they look a little distressed.

You're welcome.

Brian Miller said...

mmm....yummy. before or after lunch...that could make all the difference...

Anonymous said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww, vomit, hahaha

Mo Diva said...

shit their pants?

when i was a young school intern we went on a trip to the brooklyn botanical gardens. Javier wasnt feeling well but his mom didnt have anyone to watch him so she sent him to school anyway. I, being the eager 17 year old, got to walk with Javier, holding his hand trhough the gardens as he stopped every few minutes saying "teacher, i gotta bomb it" and bomb it he did... all over the brooklyn botanical gardens.
I changed my major the following day. To business admin

Cheryl D. said...

Ah, the joys of being a kindergarten teacher! I don't know how you guys do it! I just have one kid, and I find myself running and screaming everyday. Either that or eating chocolate!

Losing Brownies said...

Ugg, that is one thing I don't miss about my kinder class. I don't deal well with vomit. What is worse is when the teacher vomits in front of the class. I was pregnant last year and threw up on more than a few occasions.

Robin Dodd Photography said...

Once again.. Mucous... it's the only thing that gets me. I got so good at the vomit thing when we drank all that Blue Nun wine in high school.. holding my friends hair back, looking at myself in the mirror while she wretches and I hold a saltine in the other hand..

Gigi said...

Dealing with your own kid's vomit is bad enough - but to deal with someone else's kids vomit?? They do not pay teachers enough!

Kevin McKeever said...

I suppose, with Bitchy and Sassy being in college and all, you've outgrown the instinct to try to catch it in your hands to save your carpets, right?

justmakingourway said...

It's amazing how many bodily fluids you deal with as a parent. Bummer that as a teacher of young kids, you have to deal with theirs too!

Mrs Catch said...

As a fellow Kindy teacher, I commiserate...And add this to your notes...Watch the other end for strange noises. It indicates a different kind of explosive *performance*. Yes it happened to me...as the child was using a "Happy Hopper". Diarrhoea And Vomiting! And I had to clean the hopper afterwards too. I have never been able to buy one of those for my own children.

Irish Gumbo said...

Oh, dear...you threw up again? Good thing you wore that jumpsuit :)

Keely said...

I'm okay when my own kid pukes on me. Other people's kids require a haz mat suit.

WeaselMomma said...

You should be collecting hazardous duty pay.

Erin Janda Rawlings said...

Vomit?! That is my kryptonite!

What a way to start off the year! Hang in there. . .

Casey Freeland said...

Um, eww. It's been a long time since I've had to clean up any said "V". Who am I kidding, my wife was the cleaner of the walls, the beds, the floors the bathrooms. Come to think of it, I was a terrible husband in the upchuck department. I should buy her some flowers today.



An Unlikely Retirement said...

My daughter used to puke at least three days out of ten after lunch. What a mystery! Why was this happening? What dire illness did she suffer from? These were the questions were heard from the teacher, and passed on to the doctor. Kindergartner, first grade, second grade. Invasive tests, medication, worry.
This year it stopped. She now has recess before lunch instead of after. No more up-chucky....
Problem solved. Just tie them to their little desks at lunch.

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