I'm gonna have to lift some more weights.

I'm finding that this tiny, little matter of saving my own life is no easy task.

I take a deep breath each morning, pack my pockets full of courage and strength and march through the day. There are times I search for the remains of strength that I will surely need to meet the night - and miraculously find them in places that surprise me.

I am finding my thoughts flitting here and there, like the hungry butterfly searching for nectar. It's hard to focus on matters that need attention, and am thankful for my friends who gently take my hand and walk with me down this path.

In that regard, I want thank you for wrapping me in your own thoughts. I can feel them and with each email or comment, I am lifted back up onto my feet.

I've been listening to this song by Queen Latifah. (Even when I hear it for the MILLIONTH time, I am in awe.) While I know it is not a song about my particular battle, I have to say that it is speaking to my heart. Please take a moment to listen - I hope it lifts you, as it surely lifts me.

Your homework? How about a suggestion for music that will lift me? I need it. Right about now.


WeaselMomma said...

You can use my biceps too. =)

Cheryl said...

So damn sorry you're struggling so much with the weight of this. If that's the type of music that lifts you up, I can't help. However, Billy Idol's entire album "Whiplash Smile" played really loud without paying attention to the lyrics works for me every time.

Linda M said...

When I want to keep a positive attitude, one song I love to listen to is I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas. It's catchy & makes me wanna jump around my house. I LOVE the video of them surprising Oprah with it. (Don't remember what it's called, but I'm sure a youtube search would bring it up.) Hey, I like it when seemingly random groups of people break out into dance!

Wish I was going to see you on Friday at our inservice. Keep smiling!

Melisa Wells said...

That is one of the best songs EVER.

I'm with Linda: anything by the BEP is very fun and peppy.

Unknown said...

Here for you always :)

Love that Jersey girl, Latifah

noexcuses said...

Queen is amazing, and so is her talent! It's only 6:30am here; the brain is still a little scrambled trying to find songs. I'll come back with a few more suggestions. The theme from "Rocky" has always helped me. Also, "Beautiful" by Christina, and "The Greatest Love" by Whitney.

Sometimes One Day at a Time becomes One Hour, or One Minute. A thing that works well for me is to climb out of myself, find someone else who needs lifting, and help them. I do this quite often.

Big love and hugs to you!

Erin said...

Oddly, a really great 'I can do anything' song is 'Defying Gravity' from the musical 'Wicked'. About stepping off on your own and proving that yes, dammit, you can do just about anything and no one can bring you down.

Rick Daley said...

"Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel is one of my favorites. I lost my job earlier this year, and that song hit home extra hard (I'm working again, glad I didn't give up!).

Here's a link to a video of the song:


Sarah said...

My suggestion:


Joanie said...

Here's one I've always loved.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.


Janie --HS Teacher said...

Idina Menzel's "I Stand" album is phenomenal and helped me through a horribly difficult time. My favorite tracks are "I Stand" and "Brave."

Notes From ABroad said...

Peter Gabriel

This just makes me want to float out the window and off into the sky ... especially when things here on Earth are stressful


Or see what happens when Madness is a Good thing

and remember, there are these perfect strangers ( yes, I am perfect) out there in the vast web world who love you.

Anonymous said...

During a similar struggle, I found a lot of strength in this song by REO Speedwagon: Time for Me to Fly
Hang in there. From BC @ Smith. Elem.


Lili said...

I emailed you some songs :)

Kate said...

When I got out of treatment, I was blown away by the song, "I Just Showed Up." (for my own life) by Sara Groves. It said EVERYTHING I felt.

DawnA said...

Let the Riverrun - Carly Simon and Time after Time - Cyndi Lauper. It's just awful when you are dealing with these kinds of issues.

Sue said...

I've been singing this with my four year old granddaughter over and over.

"Sounds of Sunshine"
Michael Franti & the Spearheads

Music always rescues my soul, and hope you enjoy this song.

Thinking of you, have been, just so buried in work and life haven't have time to comment on your blog. Everything will work out fine, really!

Take care, Sue

Maggie May said...

i put a song up for you on my blog that makes me feel strong when i hear it. hang in there

Lynn MacDonald said...

So, i just started blogging and in fact, just found your blog recently and i followed it today. The truth is, i discovered years ago that fighting my moods was a losing battle so sometimes...when i'm sad...i just let myself be sad. That way, i can let go of it and move on to the happy. I'm just saying that it's a roller coaster and you need to ride it. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Hope you feel better soon.

Msb said...

I'll say a prayer for you.

Mishelle said...

I think I'm missing something about why you are ill BUT I will not make you speak of it...no one wants to dredge it all up again because someone didn't know.

BUT I find music works a lot at helping moods - sometimes I use music to let me get all the crap out and then I can enjoy the feeling of getting all the crappy feelings out and then I have songs that make me feel good so I play them when I need them -

Just Say Yes - snow patrol - I don't know why, the beat, the rhythm of it but it works. I start to bop around and it feels good.

Weapon Of Choice - fatboy slim - same reason AND the video for it makes me giggle.

Unfinished Symphony - massive attack - I think it's the musical glasses in the background, makes me happy.

U Can't Touch This - mc hammer... but please, please, please don't tell anyone. It's a bad thing to admit but damn it makes me laugh

Tightrope - janelle monae - it;s a newer song but it makes you bob your head.

Starrstruck - 3 oh 3 - don't ask... I'd rather admit to mc hammer but it makes me feel good.

Paralyzer - finger eleven - this one I know, it's the beat of it.

I'll stop before I get more embarrassing. Hope the music helps.


Heidi said...

I could use some of of that strength and courage to put in my pockets, but first I need something to get me out of bed before noon!
Keep up the positive thinking.

Alexandra said...

This one, dear lady, for you:


Natalie Merchant "WOnder"

Alexandra said...


Magpie said...

Bruce Springsteen singing This Little Light of Mine.

Alexandra said...

NO LIE: this one gets me going and nothing keeps me knocked down:

Eminem "Lose Yourself"

Notes From ABroad said...

Mishelle suggested Finger Eleven, Paralyzer .... I love it I love it I love it :)
Watch the long haired bass player .. we saw them, way back in the US :)


Wendy said...

VM, i don't really have a song for you right now, but so many people have suggested so many good songs that i don't think you're really gonna miss mine.
What i do have is encouragement.
You are a strong woman, and you can do this.
You manage to see the humour in most situations, so i just know you will look back *soon* and see the humour in this too.
You have put up with so much for so long, but i know you can "find yourself", and you can help yourself.
You are going to be alright!
You are gonna come through this just fine.
You are an amazing woman, and you already have it within yourself to do what needs to be done!

Much love!

SkylersDad said...

OK, I know our lives and worlds are far apart, and we have different battles. But this is my go to when I am down, Rick is my hero, and I don't throw that term around lightly.

Take the 7 minutes to watch:

J.J. in L.A. said...

No song comes to mind but this one is awesome! I've never listened to Queen L but her voice is amazing!

Anyway, just wanted to give you some...


Hope things sort themselves out SOON!

Cheryl D. said...

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time! I don't have a song to recommend, but I hope things get better soon!

Linda said...

Mmmmm, I'm a country and western girl so you'd probably hate anything I mention--but I do love Johnny Reid. He has wonderful songs. I really think you just need to drop the 220 pounds and get on with your grieving. And you will grieve--ask me how I know--30 years later!! You're in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.
Lurking Linda

Merideth in Wyoming said...

I've got a brand New Pair of Roller Skates and You've Got a Brand new Key - I get the giggles and happy every time I hear this.

I've loved it since I first heard it and now I've just dated myself!!

hang in there Vodkamom. the highs in Life aren't worth it without the lows. Hugs.

Sharon Rose said...

Hey my friend.
Wow, what a great song! I can see why that song would bring you to a place of comfort. Great song, great artist!

Today, just for one moment at a time, take in deep breaths, and exhale, knowing you are loveable, you do matter and you do make a difference!

Pastor Sharon

Laura said...

I can only offer prayers, as I'm a complete stranger to you, but they're out there! I was violently ill yesterday, so I'm slow in this response, but you are in my prayers!

Kyddryn said...

Aww, sugar...

I've been dealing with major depression since I was six. That's a lot of years. I've learned that even when I'm tired, worn to the woof, and ready to give up...I can take one more step...and every step gets me closer to the other side. This translates to other areas of life.

For what it's worth...you're not alone in the swamp...even when you can't see us, we're here, too.

Meanwhile, a song? Lately I find myself enamored of a YouTube video, both for the song and the video itself. It's Lukey, by Great Big Sea (with The Chieftans). The sheer fun of the video makes me grin.


I think about you and your troubles every day - I may not know the details, but I know you're struggling...so here's hoping you can walk faster than your worries and that you'll soon outstrip them and find your place of balance and joy once more.

Shade and Sweetwater,

San Diego Momma/Two Funny Brains said...

I have nothing funny.

Only: I love you. You know that.




Alexis said...

I simply can not choose just ONE song from this artist but you can learn a bit about her by viewing this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkUiDoH7YJ8&feature=related Before & After is the song that came to mind when I read your post but she has others that are inspiring to me also. I only just learned of Carrie Newcomer this last year and I was surprised to never have heard of her before. I think she's an incredible artist and I hope you enjoy her work.

Hoping tomorrow is a better day for you!