And YOU get a mouse, and YOU get a mouse, and YOU get a mouse. (Let's see Oprah do THAT.)

If I could, I would send each of you a billion dollars, a thousand hugs and a trip to Bermuda.

Unfortunately, I've been spending the few pennies I have on mouse traps, cutlery and bedding from the Goodwill and a security deposit for my new space.

However, I have been receiving emails left and right from companies offering giveaways for my loyal followers. Several caught my eye, and I am thrilled to start the giveaway weekend with an amazing gift from the people over at Oxfam. As soon as I saw the name Hidalgo, I KNEW I was in. (He had me at the Inn when he rescued Frodo.) Good Lord this video is hysterical.

Today I am offering the winner the gift of giving TWO school meal programs to some needy children, which will allow them to eat for free for a year. Oh sure, I was tempted to give a goat, a sheep, or a family of chickens, but I resisted. When I saw the school lunch program, you know my heart was won over.

In addition to this incredible gift, I would love to also send the winner some local goodies from my hometown here in Smythe, Oregon. I will fill the box with a few of my reading treasures, locally produced items, and several other surprises.

What do YOU have to do? Well, here goes:

1. Leave a funny story, comment about your kids and the holidays. I'm BEHIND on my column and need some funny stuff, people!
2. Pay for someone's coffee at Starbucks.
3. Send me some mouse traps.
4. TWEET this contest!!!
5. Drop a few cents in the Salvation Army bucket.
6. Check out the Oxfam website. Let me know which gift catches YOUR eye.
8. Do ONE, none, or all of the above.

Now, let's get cracking. (Contest ends Friday. My favorite day.) (Oh, a comment is an entry. Does that clear up my confusing list?)


Sara J. Henry said...

What the heck are you doing at spot #93 on that list of best mommy blogs? PEOPLE, GO VOTE!

But I'll admit I'm confused about how you know how someone has entered your contest. Maybe I'm just confused because it's December and I have way too much to do today.

Cheryl said...

I'm all over the double pile of manure.

Joanie said...

The year long free lunch for a couple of needy kids sounds terrific!!

I'm still a little confused about The Hidalgo, but I'll "get it" sooner or later.

Unknown said...

We moved up to a house in the mountains in April. LOVE it.

The house was not lived in for a year. Yeah, ummm, we got mice. I've never seen one until this house. They FREAK me out.

I've learned to roar at them. Seriously, they stop dead in their tracks when I pretend I'm a dinosaur and then can yell for my husband for him to do something!

Haven't seen one in months. They are totally scared of my roar!

MKR said...

Also, this is kind of funny. We wanted to "buy" my MIL an animal from Heifer International for Christmas and I had the hardest time choosing a gift animal because I was afraid she'd think I was implying that she was a heifer or a pig. I decided on a goat and a flock of geese and hope she doesn't think I see her as an old goat---she's more of a silly goose.

I donate to local child hunger prevention every month and I would be very honored to be one of your winners.

McGillicutty said...

Um.... yeah i'm totally confused and giggling!!! I'm ringing the bell for the Sally Army this pm, does that count?? if so, i don't know what for? hahahahaha

Mr. Halpern said...

I'd gladly send you my cat - he's become a serial killer - killing mice left and right. And as an added bonus, he brings the dead mutilated mouse right into your house, right on your living room carpet, right in front of the TV where he knows you'll see and appreciate it. :) Address please?

Sodermoto said...

I will send you my crazy dog that will hopefully catch the mice. If not then he will at least provide hours of entertainment while you watch him chase them around. Great post!

Notes From ABroad said...

I will send you love and good wishes and warm hugs when you need them. I am too far to actually wrap a present, mail it and trust the postal service here not to enjoy it for themselves, selfish bastids.

If I ever won/win anything from anywhere, I can only say that I want to person giving the prize, to do something charitable and wonderful with it, since I cannot do anything from here ...

muchas besos to you .. Every day is a new Adventure, sometimes they are not so fun but sometimes they are priceless. Remember that.

Sharon Rose said...

The Hildalgo has a great voice in this video. Don't you think? And I love the way he holds his suspenders. . . notice they are never on his shoulders.

Now, down to business in the first picture there is a mouse. . . and it is really cute. So, I'm thinking we should name him/her.

I know, I know. . . you'll never go for that! But it really is cute!

So, what you are doing over here is fun!

Now, I have to go to the mailbox. I have a card to a friend whom I love.

Have a great Saturday.

duffylou said...

I have a horse. I can send all the manure they want! Ooo, that probably won't clear customs, huh? It would definitely clear the sinuses.

Just look what you can provide to a community for less than the price of a video game.

And just a tip, Wal*Mart has kitchen ware that is sturdy and cheap and it hasn't been previously used by dead people.

Amber N. said...

What an amazing prize...no matter who wins, its really the children that get food for a year that win the most...I 3went to the site and saw the books and mosquito nets and thought would I pick practical or fun. What an amazing organization.
mamabyadoption at gmail dot com

Kate said...

With blessing from Sprite’s Keeper I am attempting to coordinate Happy Holiday Blogtastic Shout Out to spread love across the blogosphere. If you’re interested in participating or finding out more information check out the plan here:

Cassandra said...

Cute/funny kid story:
Not my own child but one of my best friends children.
I was pushing her on her swing in her back yard one afternoon and asked her "Bubba, what would you like for Christmas?"
With this she replied "A horse. A horse with legs. With one long leg. And a head. A pink head. And a string I can pull it on. And I can ride it and yell Giddy Up Bullseye YeeHaaa!"
This little 4 year old loves Toy Story.
Figured out what she meant and now can not wait for her to open up her presents and find a horse with one long leg, a pink head and a string to pull it on. Or in otherwords a hobby horse (A stuffed soft horse head with a long stick attached to it to pretend to ride on)
P.s if I win I can send you my email

Cheryl said...

Tweeted that you're looking for mice. Soon you'll be overjoyed with the new mice you need.

Cheryl said...


Unknown said...

The other day. while driving in the car. Katie told me, "Mom, I really love Aunt Artica." Confused, I reminded her that we do not have an Aunt Artica and that I had no idea what she was talking about. And then she mentioned she loved it so much because that's where Santa lives.

Cheryl D. said...

Thanks for voting for me at Babble! I really appreciate it. Good luck with the mice. Yikes! Oh, and if you pull my number for the giveaway (like that would ever happen), feel free to pick another number!

Anonymous said...

I have mice and they stink! However we use mouse traps and instead of cheese we use peanut butter works like a charm, however it's gross when you hear the trap shut.

You make me laugh,and I thank you for that. I think of you often and that's as close as I can get to praying for you since I have some issues with my faith. I have a Frank as well and he kicks my butt most days.

SSP said...

with 1700 followers how can you be in the 90s!??? that jen mommy must be voting for herself multiple times...I voted for you. My funny stories all end in tears, so I will spare you the agony, but I DID give an extra $1 at auto zone for st. jude, and dumped all my extra change in the salvation army bucket at safeway :-)

Anne said...

Dude-I've got my own mice... please keep yours. I would love to help feed some kiddos though. The highlight of my week was more visual... I watched a bunch of my little 6 year olds concentrating on their family gift... each one with their little tongues sticking out... so cute.

Deb said...

-->My son just turned four and every morning asks me if it's Christmas yet.
If you have a moment, can you please vote the children's hospital in my town to win $250k?
(this is the vanity url I created).

Sparkless said...

That sounds like a very worthy charity, I'm in. Here's my funny story. When my son was about a year old my husband had sitting up on his shoulders to go for a walk. He had to walk through a tunnel underpass and since my husband is pretty tall he wasn't sure if his little guy would hit his head or not so he told him to duck. In reply he got a "quack" Guess we played too many "what sound does the animal make" games with him.

Captain Dumbass said...

I have a dish that I always put my change in when I come home. Every year at Christmas I give it to the Salvation Army.

P-Rice! said...

I once lived in a town very similar to yours my dear. My first year of teaching, I rented a duplex from some shady guy (after I became a town-y I learned he is the town drug dealer that everyone knows but no one snitches on). Well anyway, I had mice. I didn't want to call up shade-ball so I took matters into my own hands. I moved into my boyfriends house and sent him to mine. Ya know what worked? Peanut butter. Forget the fancy traps, forget the expensive cheese. Get those awful traps from Lowe's that cost 69 cents a piece, carefully set them with some peanut butter and voila! My other suggestion is steal a cat. I think there are a few strays around the school's local neighborhood. Ask a teacher that lives in there :)

WeaselMomma said...

Send your mice here! Boy Weasels has asked for a pair of them (as pets) for Christmas.

I am always very uptight about our Christmas tree and decorations being just perfect and it makes my family nuts. This year I stepped back and let the kids do it their own way while I went out for the day.

I came home to blue lights (with white wiring) added to my pre-lit tree, a green 25 ft extension cord lying under the tree and my outdoor blue icicle lights (with entire sections burnt out) tangled and wound around the banister leading upstairs.

My house never looked so beautiful!

LimboDad said...

Does Putting money in the Salvation Army bucket, and buying the bell ringer a Starbucks count as 2, cause I did both on Saturday.

Unknown said...

I agree with Sharon that we should come up with a name for that cute little mouse.

Becky J said...

Hopefully my daughter's letter to Santa will make you laugh. She no longer believes so I think she's just trying to get on my good side. :)

Dear Santa,
This is 11 year old Kaitlyn ****** from Mrs. McCaw's 5th grade. Even though you already know that. This year I figured out Christmas isn't about presents but about seeing family and giving to one another. So this year I'm not counting on presents but family giving and happiness time. This year my happiness is brought apon butterfly's, anything in green, and a phone cover. Santa Claus, I've had all A's so far this year and met my reading counts goal. So please Santa make this Christmas a memorable one please, please, please, Santa!
Kaitlyn *******
P.S. You are my hero. Past christmas's have been great. But, this just seems special.
P.P.S. I know my brother's been bad but he doesn't deserve coal.
P.P.P.S. Well maybe he does, he did kick me today!
P.P.P.P.S. Nevermind he doesn't deserve coal deep, deep, deep down he's as nice as you!
And thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

DaphneB said...

Two funny kids stories: 1) I told my son a few weeks ago that we were going to start baking cookies for the holidays- from scratch, not the prepackaged stuff. So last night while watching me bake said cookies, he says, "ooh Mom, is there scratch in those?" "uuuh yes, I'm cooking these from scratch." He skips away saying, "ooh scratch, I love scratch!"

2) My 3 yr old daughter, while listening to my husband wonder aloud whether or not using natural peanut butter would make the cookies more healthy: "I think that what would be healfy is if I ate all of dem!"

DaphneB said...

PS- Peanut butter always works on our mouse traps too!

Mare said...

Free school lunch for kids all year is amazing!

Our Crazy Life said...

What an amazing way to give back! Anything that benefits kids is great in my book.
As for the mice, I can send you the most psychotic cat on the planet and you wouldn't have to send her back!! Seriously though, we used the sticky traps and put peanut butter and peppermints then stuck them right in the middle of the trap. They will not let go of that candy for anything and then they get stuck and out with the trash they go. Not for the weak at heart, but you teach children so you can do anything!!

DawnA said...

Peanut butter works great on traps. In the middle of the annual tradition of my Mom reading the "Joseph was a carpenter" bible Christmas story my Dad put on the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack! Hilarious.
dawniawnie (a) aol.com

Missy said...

Oprah is highly over-rated...

Cheryl said...

Hey Junie Moonie, I'd send mouse traps (yes, they'd be Hav-A-Hearts) but I only have your old address.

Send new address stat. Please?

Unknown said...

(Funny kid story/or at least it made me laugh on an otherwise unpleasant Monday) Standing in a checkout line with my 6 year-old, when the child in the cart behind us launches into full meltdown mode. Being immune, I barely noticed the kid but did realize his behavior was holding my daughter's attention. As we walked out of the store my daughter mused, "children really are not easy (with a sigh of judgement for extra emphasis)!"

Donna said...

Not only putting money in the kettle, ringing the bell with my two boys on Monday!!!

Glue traps that fold into a glue tunnel are the best. They can wriggle away with the flat glue traps, but the tunnel kind sticks 'em good.

Love your blog. I work with lots of high school special ed kids, and school stories make me laugh.

Magpie said...

Here, a virtual mousetrap:


Alexandra said...

Peanut butter works best.

Always thinking of you. So glad you're working and those kiddies provide a warm hearted loving distraction from the stretch you're in right now...

Hope it passes quickly. Quickly as possible, anyway.

Erin said...

I am so glad I found you blog. I enjoy the laughter and more importantly, I am enjoying taking the journey with you as you find you way back to being who you want to be. It's a rough road, but worth the trip. Your writing is great. Oh, and I once caught 11 mice in once day under my bathroom sink..I'd hear 'snap'..'snap'...'snap'..and go in and find all the little dead SOB's. Total body count? 23. The house is now carefully hidden with boxes of mouse killer. muhahahha.

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