I think there should be an Olympic Event for Kindergarten Teachers. (A "Crazy Juggling and Herding Cats" event.)

My Tuesday To-Do List.

1. Remind Annie that when she changes into her snow-pants in the hallway, she is NOT to remove her real pants - especially if the principal and two members of the school board are touring the building.

2. Remind Frank and Stanley that the teddy bears are not bad guys and can’t be used to shoot the girls dead during free play in the kitchen area.

3. Clearly define the difference between hugging and strangling someone within an inch of their life.

4. Put a tape recorder close to the bathroom so that when Daisy sings “DyNoMite” at the top of her lungs while making a deposit, we can play it for the judges of American Idol. She rocks. (In the privacy of the bathroom, of course.)

5. Remind John not to leave the bathroom with his pants around his ankles. (And tell him to shut the door.)

6. Have Frank re-do the portrait of his stuffed polar bear. Call me crazy, but a scary vampire bear with blood on his teeth and a Mohawk doesn’t even CLOSELY resemble the adorable polar bear that was in his lap.

7. Reinstate nap-time.

Someone pass me a HUGE loaf of bread and about a pound of butter. I need a snack.


only a movie said...

December is such a tough month at school, eh?

Hang in there, VM.

Cheryl said...

Natives are getting a bit too comfy cozy in school. It sounds like someone's made them all feel as though they were home. Hmmmm. Wonder who's responsible.

If you figure out how to kick your own butt, share. I need it.

Pastor Sharon said...

#1 reminds me of the seniors we have at my facility! I love with all my heart the ones with dementia. Of course, that is my soft spot. But really they are like kids in kindergarten, especially when they come to the dining room without their pants or underwear on. . . and I am giving the president of our Chamber of Commerce a tour. (that'll make you laugh til you wet yourself!)

#4 Daisy has talent. . . just like Britain and America! I never sounded better singing than in the bathroom!

#5 This is wrong on every level, but I just visualized Frank and Stanley yelling fire and running as John comes out of the bathroom that way. Would he hop away with them or would he trip, pulling up his pants. . . either way. . . its just twisted humor and I probably need some of that bread shoved in my mouth too! But that just made me laugh!

#6 Frank. . . well, he just needs a little help. . . or maybe a lot!

feefifoto said...

you just gave my daughter a mean case of hiccups.

Brian Miller said...

i usually sing in the bathroom as well...

Sue said...

I'm FULL of bathroom stories thanks to Country Roads! But I much rather here about your adorable little kids in your class!

Take care, Sue

Joanie M said...

I'm disausted just reading about your day!

Jennie said...

I just adore your blog and the stories you share. Reminds me why my kids have paws! LOL

My prayers are with you during your good and bad times. Whatever you do, remain hopeful and keep that incredible sense of humor.

Best wishes and high hopes,

Kyddryn said...

One home-baked loaf and a stick of Irish butter comin' right up, but you'll have to come to Casa de Crazy to get 'em...I'm feelin' to danged knocked up to go on a long drive...sorry, sugar...

Shade and Sweetwater,

Just Two Chicks said...

#1 reminds me of when we were practicing "stop, drop, roll" and the principal and another teacher walked into the room. The children rolled right under the table, then jumped up from the other side yelling surprise. It scared them both to death and my explaining about practicing fire safety was a bit unbelievable!

Captain Dumbass said...

I think the world would be a better place if we all got nap time.

AMY said...

Thanks for the laughs! Love your blog and your humor! You're the BEST.....Stay strong!

WeaselMomma said...

I hope that nap time is for teachers too.

CSY said...

You know - the most productive worker bees are the ones who work in countries that actually let them TAKE NAPS! I vote for naps for everyone!

Missy said...

Oh, dear. A former teacher (I only made it four years) I love reading about your students. Wow. The optional clothing thing?? Maybe their mom's are strippers.

a Broad said...

Re-instate nap time ... for whom? :)

Amy said...

Some of the best musical inspiration has come out of a bathroom! You better Get Daisy's autograph now, she could be a household name before you know it!

Anonymous said...

When you went to teacher school, did they tell you that so much of your time would be spent dealing with the bodily functions of 6 year olds?
Amen to naptime!

Heidi said...

Nap time should be reinstated or just started, everywhere, for every age!

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