3/9/11

APPs, Apps;, appS and ApPs. I don't care HOW you spell it, it's a pain in my Apps.


Dear People who are inventing Apps for the things I NEVER EVEN KNEW I needed:




While I’m sure some people with IPhones, LPhones, Smartphones and Xylophones are dying for the an APP called “come wipe me please”, “get my laundry cause I’m too lazy to get it myself” or “I don’t know how to use scissors so Zap me some coupons”, I’m not one of them.



Frankly, I can barely even get my razzly dazzly phone ON, let alone teach it how to bark and roll over. And really, if it is so smart, why can’t it teach ME how to use it?




So, to all of the billion people emailing me HUNDREDS of emails a day about your fabulous APPS that I can’t live without, please stop. I don't even know what APP stands for.




I can barely get my phone ON. (Pssssst. Try Marinka, she’s a pro.)






Now pass me some Advil and really HUGE Diet Pepsi Frank kicked my *$$ so many times today I don’t even know what DAY it is.



19 comments:

RottenMom said...

I think it's Wednesday. My husband chased me around the house with a tazer APP. I had no clue it was his phone. Bastard.

Help yourself to my giant bottle of Advil!

MiMi said...

I have a Charlie Sheen App. Really dude. Really. WINNER!

Brian Miller said...

frank needs an app....and you maybe a nap...smiles.

Vodka Mom said...

I'm googling strategies for Defiance. I love him, but I need some serious help.

Gigi said...

Hahahahahaha! I don't really do apps. Mainly because I can't be bothered. But, apparently my smart phone thinks I need all the help I can get because it is continuously emailing me "did you know" emails telling me how fabulous it is and all the tricks it can do. I delete them.

Mrs. E said...

No way! I am not believing that Frank could get the best of you! (I still think you might have been quite a bit like him at that age!)

Rima said...

Betcha there's an app for kicking Frank's little a$$.

Anna See said...

Oh yes, I can relate. I have a fancy new phone and the kids have filled it with games. I use it to...make phone calls.

Homschlr4ever said...

thank you, thank you, thank you, my husband bought me the iPhone with Verizon and seriously, what the f*!k am I supposed to do with it? He keeps adding all this stuff, "did you know blah, blah, blah" NO, and I don't care. I just want to be able to call someone if my car gets stuck or the girls need me. And no, he can't have one because he has a secret clearance and where he works no cameras allowed so he is living vicariously through me, the butthead.

Kimberly said...

I bet Frank knows how to use an App. Maybe you guys could work out a deal?

Barrie said...

I just downloaded or uploaded (I never know which term to use!) the google maps app to my phone. And it worked! And it was helpful!

Lynn MacDonald said...

You know, if you can barely get on your phone? there's an app for that. HAHAHA...all those apps are highly addictive. I recommend that you stay away from them.

Captain Dumbass said...

My favourite app is the one that turns on your camera while you're texting so you can walk and text without running into things.

Pastor Sharon said...

What happened to just having a phone without a cord or string attached so you could use it to talk to people?

I am passed 40 yrs young and my eyes are not interested in looking at a cell phone computer screen at APPS that cause blindness.

Cora said...

Hahahaha! I feel your pain.

When Scope, Gwen and I bought new phones in October I got so utterly overwhelmed by the phones in the AT&T store than I actually started crying!

Yep. REAL TEARS.

I had never had a fancy phone before and could NOT figure out how to make the display ones do anything remotely understandable to me.

I felt like a total caveman, like I didn't belong out in public with all the civilized, hoity toity, fancy phone-mastering, superior people. *sniffle*

I mean, really, you're right: if the phones are so damn smart WHY DON'T THEY TELL ME HOW TO USE THEM? Grrr.

a Broad said...

You need a phone like mine.
Everything is in Spanish. I can't understand anything so I just answer it and usually hang up because it is a wrong number.
Or at least I think that is what they are saying~

What did Frank do ? this time :)

Dawn said...

My phone isn't fancy enough to have apps... I like it that way.

I have a defiant one as well this year... wish I had advice to give... maybe, "Just keep swimming, swimming..." LOL
(I have ONE more day till Spring Break!!!!!!)

Casey Freeland said...

I am kind of an APP (application) enthusiast. I love them. But I definitely don't need most of them. I promise I will never email you with the latest and greatest. But there is this cupcake app.. just kidding. :-)

Cheers,

Casey

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