I made a promise to my children, and to myself, that I would not write about this painful divorce here.
I have tried to honor that pledge, but it’s been hard.
It’s been hard because this space has been the one place that I have always been me. I’ve shared stories from my childhood, my family, my friends, my neighbors and my children. I’ve shared the good, the bad, the painful and the glorious. I’ve opened my messy closet and let everyone take a peek.
I’ve shared me.
I know that there are many, many, many people out there who are going through their own kid of horrible pain – perhaps a divorce, a struggle or something even more horrifying; and I know that the troubles of others often make ours look trivial, or embarrassing.
I also know that – no matter what burdens we are carrying- those burdens still hurt. No matter how big, how small, how trivial or how devastating- they all still hurt.
I have wanted to take the high road. I intended to always take the high road. I’ve tried to keep some matters close to my heart and not say or do anything that I would regret.
The truth of the matter is? I’m human. I know, it’s a HUGE surprise, but I am human. I fall every single day, along with everyone else. I used to joke that I “@(#*” up every single day – because it keeps me humble. But it’s true.
Throughout this divorce, I’ve reminded myself that the one thing that helps me sleep at night is the fact that I love my children beyond measure, and each day I strive to keep their best interests close to my heart. I know deep in my heart that I would give my life for them- without a thought or a doubt.
I believe that children should be loved.
I believe they should be respected.
I believe they should be protected.
I believe they should be challenged, questioned, lifted, reprimanded, guided and loved in spite of what they do, and how they stumble. I believe they should know that their parents love them, and will fight for them no matter what.
I believe that they should know that the people who will always wrap them in love and protection are their family members.
And I pray that those particular people, who might in fact be reading this, remember that.
That these children, the ones who are suffering beyond measure throughout this painful ordeal, should be lifted, protected, loved and comforted.
That is what I pray for every night before I go to bed.
Well, that and perhaps a huge bag of chips.